I thought  I could .
Afterall all these times , I finally thought I could .
But I lay in bed , unmoved till death .
The knife in my chest .
I only wanted you to tell me you loved me mom .
I still regret .
I wish I was more alive than dead .
- Adaa Sayed

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

An arcane dialect we both learnt in that era,
and over those months
we spent calling each other
‘mine’
that feeling I had for you became no longer arcane
but all too common.
It grew outdated.

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

Perhaps the exciting feeling of newness masked our deep incompatibility.
Following the first kiss
the feeling grew
stale between us;
it was no longer special.
I was no longer yours
and you were no longer mine.
A feeling I have found in lovers after you,
though surely new.
Different,
better.

Why did we stay?

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

Misfortunes in
misplaced desire
misplaced passion
have taught me that
It’s okay to ask for more than pretty and kind,
That I do not have to hurt because our hearts don’t reflect.

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

Her smile was the rare alphabet that composed the words.
Words that made sentences
Sentences that begot paragraphs
Paragraphs that turned into pages
Pages that turned into chapters
Chapters that turned into books
Books that told my story.
My story that unleashed her into my heart and unveiled my century long love mines

My reaction to her smile was the punctuation that changed the meaning of every letter,word, sentence,paragraph, page, chapter, book and ultimately my story.
That was far from over ,she changed my world.

It was not just a smile but the mark of the finest exploration expedition ever known to my circles.
Her smile was the build behind the words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, chapters, the book and ultimately the story that sent me flying.

Far from over,it was not just a flight but a first class flight of passion, affection, belonging, attachment and confidence that saw me smile with a smile that moved the mountains and shook the valleys of my understanding.
She was the element 115 that changed the alchemy, geography, radiology physics .she changed my approach to the theory of everything.

The beautiful soul behind the rare smile that changed everything lays hidden behind the alphabetic curtain of five letters

Behold AMIGO
Not just a word but a monument

I saw her .
But she never told me .
I loved her .
She said the same thing .
My mother .
She was .
Made slave by someone ,
I loved to call dad .
One night with a knife ,
I saw her .
Perhaps that was the last of her .
That knife was used to **** her .
She didn't **** herself .
She didn't run for help .
Because she stood there for me .

The great puts itself last not first,
For it carries the weak, that all succeed.
And if strong falls where weak walks,
Surely the strong is less than weak.
It's no greatness to put yourself first,
For even the worm cares for itself.
The brave may die for one it loves,
But only Love dies for its enemies.

The woe was overpowering,
the mournful silence blaring.
Going round in circles in the labyrinth of sufferin'.
Thinking about a way out was no sin.
Unswerving and swift was the way out.
My existence was a doubt.
Starved for the last breath,
so I planned myself a death.

side bed
side by side
i like you beside me
you like me on you
isn't it
we play
we stay
we laugh
we stare
we kiss
we hug
i open my eyes
i close my eyes
i see your face
i feel your neck
so warm
so cool
i know you feel my heart
i know you feel how cold i am
you offer to warmth me
you hug me
you clingy to me
you and me
please
on loop

xo