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Charlotte T May 31
You’re pale year-round,
though you have a new warmness beneath it.
With complete faith in the universe,
You are growing beautifully.
Charlotte T May 28
I’ve kindled my body back into the earth. She stretched her arms wide and embraced me tenderly. I have time to tend to my garden again and I’ve seen what it really means to bloom. Vulnerability, once cataclysmic to the garden, became the set of seeds that were worth waiting for. Welcomed by the soil, the sky and the clouds, my flowers and my fruits grow in abundance.
Charlotte T May 24
I have watched grief hollow you out.
Your body is no longer illuminated by an open heart.
Since the spiders crept in
the warm, gentle glow has been
smothered
by cobwebs.
Charlotte T May 23
My skin was once untouched.
Soft and pale.
A beautiful, blank canvas
that I have
mutilated.

As the years changed,
my feelings towards you followed.
Assured myself it was you
suffocating me,
that you were the one
wrapping me tightly
in a body that I did not feel
was my own.

It’s not as though I haven’t been
kept accountable
for what I have done to you.
I realized you were not a prison,
but a home,
and it was me
who was wrapping myself up
so tight I couldn’t breathe all along.

The marks of my violence
resurface sometimes.
What was once tempting and exciting
is now a recurring nightmare.
A self-inflicted,
lifelong reminder
that you forgive
but do not forget.
Charlotte T May 22
We held each other tight
as if we were scared to let go.
Soft remarks of affection
Wrapped in heavy blankets
in the safety of my bed.
A museum of memories
only you and I will know.
Charlotte T May 21
Did it shake you the way it shook me?

An arcane dialect we both learnt in that era,
and over those months
we spent calling each other
‘mine’
that feeling I had for you became no longer arcane
but all too common.
It grew outdated.

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

Perhaps the exciting feeling of newness masked our deep incompatibility.
Following the first kiss
the feeling grew
stale between us;
it was no longer special.
I was no longer yours
and you were no longer mine.
A feeling I have found in lovers after you,
though surely new.
Different,
better.

Why did we stay?

Did it shake you the way it shook me?

Misfortunes in
misplaced desire
misplaced passion
have taught me that
It’s okay to ask for more than pretty and kind,
That I do not have to hurt because our hearts don’t reflect.

Did it shake you the way it shook me?
Charlotte T May 21
My skin crawls in your presence now.
This aversion is painfully present,
deep-seated, inexorable.
My antipathy
I feel for you is
     pushing
back.

Grinding away the
rind of my rib-cage,
I will not let the disease reach my
organs.
My fragile lungs
my tender heart.

The veil of insects and filth
lifted
upon realization that it is time for me to go.
Weaponizing insect repellent
for the pursuit of freedom.
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