The emptiness
That fades sunshine in rains,
Is the darkness of ignorance,
Clotted in our brains.
But the clots won't dissolve
Untill you die.
The only truth of life
Which you can't deny!

The pain you feel won't suffice
The scars won't heal or sublime
You will see the shallow darkness
Run through your vein,
Elevating all your pain
And filling up the empty drains

But

Let the blizzard of wretchedness drench
So the tears have no thirst to quench
Let the catastrophe vent through
From an opening of a flower
Blooming inside you

Treachery will sink
Make you a monster
From within
But you need to fight
For a second chance in life
Make it all right
And live again with pride

Here is a steering wheel
To drive away your pain
Go to grave and burry the past
That is Circling your brain

Scream and let go
It was never meant to be so
Let the hopes ignite again
Solace reside again
You deserve to smile
Bid the miseries goodbye

It is my wonderland
When my faith and hope slowly turning into sand

It is my door
Which can only seen by me
Because everyone and I ain't on the same floor
So I gotta need an escape from here

Its my home
And I know I can call it my own

It is also my life
This makes me fight;
The pain that is breaking me inside

There was a time when I was trapped
On an island none could see
As I waited there on the darkened lands
For someone to find me
Days and days spent gazing out
At the still, empty waters
Never knowing when the day will come
That my life here would falter
I wonder if there would be a day
I would want life less than death
But if I tried jumping into the sea
I know I would hold my breath
Staying here, I am confined
On an island of my own making
Wondering if this day will be my last
But next morning I keep waking
There’s no way off this silent place
No way to end this pain
And I can’t stop my will to live
From continuing to drain
As I gaze upon the shimmering blue
I know no one’s here to save me
And as I watch the days ticking by
I know no one’s here to free me
But now I know as I continue to live
My freedom’s not defined by others
And I cannot keep waiting here
To be freed by another
So now I know never to wait
Until the tank fills to the brim
When no one’s there to witness you drown
You teach yourself to swim

— OrcasTogether

Rain
rain
rain
rain

From this pain
there's much to gain

The shape of mud
where I have lain

The monsters in my mind
I've slain

their rows of teeth will form my jagged crown.

In the end the purest flower grows
from earth where self-sacrifice is sown.

Reality is jaded, memories are faded
The end of a long hedonistic night comes down to the same old plight
Reminiscent of the old days when you never knew you had enough to go on,
In the end, you always got more than what you thought
Is it the freedom that you're after? or is it the one that's chasing you?
Are you trying to create a story for yourself?
Or just being a part of one makes you feel complete?
Maybe you've always given your best, maybe all you need is some rest
Some shut-eye to take a temporary pause in a life that never stops
Will you ever get there or is it just a waste of time?
Will your passion be the wildfire you crave or will it put you in your grave?

There's no end to this pretend, maybe this is the wrong intent
Project what you are, there's no reason to be scared
Madness is the only reality and reality is the only madness
You thought life was a gravy train and you arrive late to the station
But believe that this struggle is your only salvation

Now that you try to fight it, try to snap out of it, it seems harder than usual
This encounter with your past self might not seem so casual
Maybe it has some significance
Or is there another meaning to life?
Well, if at the end of the tunnel you see the meaning
Will you chase it or would you want to transcend the feeling?
Because maybe if you already found the meaning, your life would lose it.

Late after we've all gone to bed
I'd always find myself awake
With my ears being mistreated
Didn't mean to hear evils spill

I tried my best to go to sleep

But each night tears were shed
I heard everything slowly break
When daddy admitted he cheated
Then mama could only shrill

Yet all I wanted was sleep

Once more daddy had gone and fled
Left mama to feel the same heartache
Because history had surely repeated
As it was that night life lost it's thrill

Then I cried myself to sleep

I’ve known many unsavory characters from my home city of Manchester
There’s the ex-demolition guy who took a great dislike to me
Did he have visions of blowing me up instead of my old car?
He had a trainee apprentice in the wings and had connections

I knew several football hooligans who fought for what?
For England, their home team, themselves, for violence?
Each told me a story of Rah-Rah-Rah Here We Go Lads!
One fought riot cops in Poland and was jailed in a sanatorium
He somehow escaped and was banned from Poland for life
The other was a City fan and battled his opponents in Greece
He was 45 and still loved a good tear up on match days

Drug dealers prominently featured in the city and surrounding towns
One dark night in my home town I saw an ex-dealer shot dead  
I heard then saw the BMW getaway car zoom off
Oddly I thought I heard two gunshots after it had gone
The ex-dealer’s wife asked me to help and I tried to
But there was nothing I could do but call the medics

Chavs are the worst in my town and others
Council House And Violent and ruling the tough estates
With their violence, crime, dealing and other acts
Not going to school or college but sleeping all day
And drinking and smoking **** all night with their underage gals
But when do they have time to do their crimes?

There are the plastic gangsters who think they’re it
Maybe with their mates they can burst a paper bag
Or intimidate innocent law abiding citizens who are meek

Further afield I met a gangster in Liverpool who was alrite
He liked a right tear up and had a job to appear legit
But his real work was in various things like drugs, guns and cash
He offered me a job as a courier because my car was old and gray
I said no for its easy in and never ever out

The English racists were a breed apart who hated all skins
I got on with one who liked metal but we clashed on views
He loathed foreigners and wanted them all out
And insisted that white men stick to white women

Most scary of all I met a killer on the run in Newcastle
We were on the ship disco by the river having fun
This guy had a real flirty wife called Carmen
I danced with her and later talked to her husband
He schitzed out and went mad but not for chatting with his gal
I asked what’s wrong and he admitted to killing a man
And said he didn’t know me from Adam so be quiet!
He was a Londoner and I said you did it for your own reasons
His wife consoled him when he had flashbacks

Ex-servicemen gave me a few problems over the years
I was drinking in my local pub when a para and a marine argued
First with one another and then with me over who was best
They hated the air force and me wearing an Air Force badge
Maybe they needed a war to get their heads blown off?

There were many fighters who lived to fight and cause trouble
Some had a go at me I tried to avoid their skills but heard their stories
Some were nutters but others quite pally and fine lads
There were brawlers, boxers, Martial Artists and more
Near the Mess House pub in Oldham guys die by a single punch

These savory and unsavory characters were the fabric of England
Some I remember and many I forget for right or wrong reasons
Their stories live on here my poem for you to judge

the fire in my heart starts
so many fighters
i stare with calmness
this feeling, it entraps me
do i really know what's going on?
i start swinging
i know i have to fight
i cannot feel anything else
this power, it's here
nobody can get to me
I'm only in a battle with myself
for all it is.
a war against me within me
you see.
i scream and drop to the floor now
but i get up even faster.
fists are thrown
i cannot count how many
dust in my eyes now
i think i'm dead
and it all just ends--
with a familiar touch.

a face of stone and bloodred eyes
he is not dumb, he is not wise
a vampire, dressed in black attire
ruler of the world, lobby boss, a rock

a fierce narcissist being hurt
even by your friendliest words
knife-like fingernails, teeth spiky
he slits you up, devours your heart

cannibal lecter style for real
he just does not know how to feel
psychopathic soul, a tall goon
ruling from a bone-made throne

you can not make a deal with him:
he's like a bank and always wins
your family is dead my friend
today is your turn: you will burn

barbeque-images, intestines
human-scented steak with bloodshakes
festival of gore, you creature
since you are the vampire's feature

humans come, humans go, you know?
a vampire does not bother
he will tear your body apart
to carve a poem into your flesh