There's a bird at your window.
Chest cloaked in a lush boastful yellow.
Timid dust brown feathered head,
with flurries of white laced around its neck.
There's a bird at your window.
Singing the echoes of blissful memories,
majestic tones of innocence.
There's a bird at your window.
Eyes filled to the top with intuition,
feathers fluttering with intent,
not a worry in the world.
There's a bird at your window.
Wondering if it knows,
knows what world we live in today,
or if it even cares.
There's a bird at your window.

5 angels on earth are hard to come by
,
7 luck is now tangible i tighten my grip
9 as the fruit of your spirit
0 brings wholeness and infinite love

Now and again, suicidal thoughts come to torment me when I am heavily filled with so much grief,

But they always flee from my broken soul whenever I call upon the name of the Jesus, my relief.

Dirt caked under my fingernails
my fingers working
scooping at the soil
I can feel the soul of it
hear the wind whispering
there is nothing that could keep me from this
my fingers grip at rocks
and toss them over my shoulder
into the pile of earth I have moved
I find wriggling worms
and move them too,
only gentler.
And once this hole-
this pit I have dug is big enough
to hold all of me
I step inside, my bare feet
touch the cool, wet dirt
and then I begin to close it
pull the sediment around me
cover my body in it
flatted it down until one arm is trapped
then make a spot for the other
and let it sink too.
I wish the soil would liquify
and I could just fall into
the foreverness
let my soul rest a bit
under the surface
even without this I close my eyes,
let my eyelids relieve their burning
the stars have always flashed in them
and they gutter out-
leaving everything darker than before
I have always thought that
darkness was alive
I can feel it breathing
moving towards me
I tilt my head back,
only my shoulders and up are free
eyes ******* shut
I know I could never hope to escape this
my only chance is to make it a home
become comfortable in it
never let anyone take this from me
in the dirt you can taste everything
the Sea has been a liar
since the start of eternity
its calamity was never a siren song for me
but I know what it's like
to have a being such as her sing
right in my ear
I hear the Earth's melody
and can't help but listen.
The wind weaves through the canopy
I feel my hair tickling my face
an itch I can't scratch
a wound I'm not allowed to pick.
Even boulders bear scars
even trees need a reprieve from the sunlight
but only humans could ever
dig their own grave
and willingly rest in it.

I don’t think I will survive
I don’t think I am able to be strong for myself
I don’t think my mind would tolerate another hurricane
I don’t think my heart could work under my consciousness

If I think about this life maybe I don’t feel anymore

wait,
felt lost
counting the time pause
chaos will stop-
rain mourns
sun roars

wait,
till time out