I have always been the sweet charm and favorite of all people at home,
But, there always comes a but,
But I am "the girl" I must understand,
But I am "the eldest"  I must know,
But I am "the quietest" I must be smart,
But I am "the senior" I must set good example,
And in this series of But and examples I managed  to keep my dream and passion to myself in order to be perfect for my younger,
But I always sit and wonder
Am I really good?
Or am I teaching my youngers to be fake?
Am I really setting an good example?
Or am I setting an example of being what others except you to be?
What if I am the worst?
What if they found out that I am FAKE?
Will I'd be the perfect person then?

empty emotions
fuel the deep devotions of yesterday
nothing fulfilling
no true feelings
there was nothing in between
nothing breathing
lifeless ill intended words
that feel like promises
only fueled what made you die

The place where reality and hope cross paths

Socal Suicide
Walking to lunch alone
Talking alone
Picking up the bottle
Picking up the pill
If you don't
It's social suicide

Smiling along
Laughing alone
Makeup your face
Selfie suicide
Is socal Suicide

Fake followers
Unknown callers
No meals
Don't be different
Dont commit

SOCAL SUICIDE!!!

I've walked and savoured
Seen the magic and ate the food
Sight and hearing may deceive
But taste, fragrance and touch
Directly speaks and to you alone
And by same measure I know
The liars, the blind, and the fools
For their fruits are without taste
Even as plastic fruits are for eyes only

These poems I write, they’re my escape,
though from what I do not know.
My troubles seem to evaporate
the moment I let them show.

I write about love, which is ironic
because I’ve never had a lover.
I used to think maybe I was sick;
for I’ve never longed for one either.

I write about death when I’m feeling down
so I can cry to something new,
but thinking to when I lost real tears,
maybe they weren’t mine to lose.

Even now as I write this down
- my headphones on but paused -
I wonder where my motives are bound,
for I always feel like a fraud.