I found myself
At the end of a bottle
It's been three months
Reluctant solemn months

I said it would be six
I lied
I am weak
The bottle is my best friend

I woke up thirsty
It was a short night
I wanted it to be short
So I found myself
At the end of a bottle

As I purse my lips,
trying to push back words
that I am afraid are the wrong ones.
I wonder,
stand in awe,
of those gentle souls
who heal so many hearts.
While I fail
to utter any words,
fearing,
not knowing,
what might break them.

I was born into construction, I know no other trade.
Im not very good at math, and my writings just the same.
I try to act, I try to sing but in the end I always seem right back where I began
I build the set, I cut the wood, and they're painted by my hand. Could I be another man, I know I choose not who I am, but I wish I could just understand if im a product of this land or am I free to choose my plan.
I will fail at my career, this is my fear. I will be like my father, broken and poor. There is only one door for me, the rest are locked and theres no key that i can see in sight.

We sit across the room from each other in hideous furniture.
But still, you scream,
"What is it all about? Why are we here?"
I respond, warm affection dripping in every word,
"Human connection."
"There must be more than that," you insist.
Your words leave me with nothing except an unworthy reparation on my lips.
I glance around the freezing house and realize I have obviously failed to provide enough for the both of us.

In life we learn,
If you fail,
Try again,
Even in education,
If you fail,
You are offered one more shot,
To reach the top,
But society, friends mock you,
In class if you fail,
You get to try again,
To take the classes again,
But it has been deemed bad,
By students and teachers alike,
It is used to threaten,
"Don't study and fail",
Makes you feel beaten,
Everyone will mock you,
The mark of failure,
Burned to the flesh,
So what was supposed,
To be a second chance,
Now is a bad glance,
From everyone,
That's just students cheat,
Because they know that they will fail,
And their reputation will fall,
So cheating is the best way,
No one wants to be left behind,
No one wants to destroy their mind,
No one wants to try again,
Just because no one will allow them.