it's funny the things you forget
when asked for an 'interesting fact' --

you sleep on them for days
and exhume them from the ground
because they matter! so deeply!!
there's no metaphor that does them justice!!
it's poetry because it isn't!!!

i don't know my siblings.
my parents sleep in my dead grandad's bed
and i received his cupboards:
yeah, we're pretty much begging to be haunted.
let's be positive, it'd be nice to see him again.

thanks to reinforced childhood superstition,
i still pick up pennies from the ground
(yup, even with my germ phobia).

i used to write to the tooth fairy!
she warned me about gum disease.
her name was tiffy, but it turned out to
just be mum writing with her left hand.

as an internet-addicted hermit,
little me hated going abroad
since the only friends i felt i had were online.
there's thus a list of places to someday re-visit -
rotterdam is one.

i'd like to be somebody's muse.
if my life plan fails,
i want to work in a funeral parlour:
it feels as though i'd do it justice.

watching the same film more than once
just isn't something i do -- except grease --
exceptions can be made when it's on TV.

i mean, c'mon, it's grease.

I found it !
Betchu , you don't even know about it.
I bet it hurts, but it's gone hurt much more - as we go deep into the future person!
I don't think you deserve your title !
Simultaneously I think you do.
This thing I found - I don't think I was supposed to find this proof.!
I thought I needed confirmation from death - and look who brung it to me.
They say mental problems are something that's inherited.
I thought that was overrated - this paper shows me something different, its too ****** vivid.
It's like a nightmare , that I'm embracing .
Running from the devil , then get trapped in a corner - just to face him.
I don't think this was meant for me - ok but if it was.
Who can I run to for help - when it was you that I trust?
How can I trust you - when you ain't got no confidence yourself?
And you never said that - honestly I never thought , I wouldn't be in need of your help.
Instead you're the one crying out for closure.
I knew the feeling was off that day when I woke up.
I didn't pay any attention - I left , I thought there was something in the world that I was missing.
I knew that feeling was off , I come back a few hours later - to a cut on your arm?!
Wow , this **** so ****** hard to believe - I look down and see a letter, covered in red.?!
Honestly I think god for sparing your life and many others that would've been affected - I would've been mentally dead.
However , now - scenarios keep consuming my head .!
All the " what if's" and the "why the f* did you do this".!
Still as hardened cement - not one single sound, escaped from my lips.
Person you're a coward - I can't ****** believe you .
I'm no better , I guess you can say we're both getting mentally strangled by life's chain.
So who's stronger - I always wanted to do it , but never had the courage - you did it but didn't get submerged in the red rain.
I guess it's better to stop running and just embrace the pain .
I'm numb , this feeling - honestly isn't like any other !!
I found your sui-cide letter mother...

Once I step outside,
the first thing I do is look at every faces that pass by and wonder
"What are their stories?" after all.

I wonder what you’d call it,
it as in this this life this waking dream,
this moment in time where feel we feel like we’re fallin’,
this feeling that we are everything,

how have you been,
how will you be,
stumbling around in my own cloud,
until I rain upon the sea,

sea,
we humans are messed up,
but it’s a beautiful chaos,
and that’s why I don’t give up,

live up,
to no one’s exceptions,
exceed all preconceived notions,
of what it means to make it,

I don’t call the enemy’s camp Hate,
even when it’s full of Haters,
this is a Love campaign,
it is not a status,

see I call the enemy,
The Darkness of Ignorance,
which is the opposite of Illuminati,
which is lit up in brilliance,

none of this is happenstance,
none of this is randomness,
there is an equation,
which add up to all of this,

this,
this,
this I don’t know what to call it,
this as in it,

I wonder what you’d call it,
it as in this this life this waking dream,
this moment in time where feel we feel like we’re fallin’,
this feeling that we are everything…

∆ LaLux ∆

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