Am I blue enough for you?
fallen cold feet in your hot water
has my heart been bruised enough for you?
pounded by your harrowing silence and skyscraping fortress which I cannot crawl into...

These four walls have become a better companion than the ghost of you
They echo my words so that I am less lonely
In a world that I would build someday without you
I would no longer falter into your decoy...

Lie number one
She saw you first
I saw you first
I admired all your brilliance first
Buried the sentiment deep within
Along with any sympathy towards you
In order to devour the whole of your company
Without any regret, holding back my breath

Lie number two
I hate your goofiness
There's nothing that takes me faster to the moon
That your innocence and your pathetically bad jokes
Your smile is the contradiction of nonsenses
and fierce ideologies that find home at the back of my mind

Lie number three
You are an idiot
Maths and arguments are your playground
In the swings we go back and forth
Even when I tell you are wrong
You will always be Sir right
Rolling down the road we go
Difference being the ways we take
You roll with her
And I feel nothing but abandoned

Lie number four
I love to intimidate you
Call it cliche but in mocking you
I find the comfort of living within you
You'll never forget the bully that I am to you
When you were to reach your golden era
You'll go back to these years
And perhaps you'll see the irony in all of my doings

Lie number five
You are a blissful couple
The heavens know how much I've degenerate
All the events of your relationship
The way she handles you
Is a mockery to my face
You don't deserve it but you own it
As if everything that she gives to you
Were nothing less than treasures and gold

Her hostility is anonymous to my wishes
A few nights I've imagined filling her place
I've imagined your attentive gaze making love to my features
I've imagined your hands caressing timidly my own
I've imagined me being your number one fan
But the only place in the stadium of your heart
is already fill by her profane soul

You tried rearranging
all of the puzzle pieces.
It didn't turn out so well.
There were holes, gaping.
There were never pleases,
there was my tell.
I should have stopped you,
I would have had to yell.
This was something you felt
you truly needed to do.
So, I watched over the puzzle.
In search of a way to cope,
I only kept hanging onto hope.
Hope that one day you'd see,
the puzzle pieces were always right.
I did not need rearranging,
after all.

there will be a time when
showers don't make me think of you
the way you and i would sit
the spout sticking in my spine
and your knees against mine
we would talk about our days
and what made us ****** the most
we would cover each other in bubbles
and let ourselves soak together
you'd make your crooked smile
i'd be flush as could be hiding myself from you
even though it was everything you knew
there will be a time when
i don't think of you.

i wish i had seen the day;
the one where i was over you.
my whole life since seems a play
i wish my mind would be through
especially with the thoughts of you
you come about at the deepest times
tripping on LSD
and your name is one that chimes
my friends tell me let it be
my brain tells me the same
my heart just feels ashamed
to have ever loved so much
i can't cure it with another's touch
i've tried and tried the past year
yet, i still end up in tears

Every month, when I would have my four days of torture, I would call him on the first day and cry.
I would crib my heart out and curse every ******* cell that cramped.
Even though we were miles apart, his voice would pacify the pain, his words would calm me down and all I ever felt was love.
He was the cure to my Menstrual strain.

That's when I felt it.
I grabbed the grocery bag.
I looked down because I felt it.
I felt it on my ring finger.
I felt the thick banded symbol.
I felt it on my ring finger,
Even if it was only a second.
It was a second that lasted long.
Longer than the last time I looked into your eyes.
That was all I could see,
Those blue eyes staring back at me.
The same ones that have been washed away.
Away with all of our memories.
I felt them all right there,
At that moment,
I felt everything you'd ever meant to me.
Then the bag moved,
The plastic slipped away,
Just like we have into new worlds.