I shall write about you
until the ink runs out
until the trees get old
until the ship sinks down
until they dig deep down
to find the fossils which are running out
giving diamonds and gold to your beloved ones
displaying an apparent proof.

People can't stop loving just as much as they can't stop hating
all the broken hearts
which may take eternity to heal
I am one of you
as I walk down alleys  
I sight history in a man's eyes
I sense their lungs weakening
I observe their dry lips
you see the liquor hasn't done too good.
I hear people screaming through mere silence.
I shall continue to write about you
until this world seems bright.

Dread
That's what we all feel when we think about it
Consistency 
Talking to someone every day
Asking how their day way all the time 
Caring so much 
It's a ******* pain
Right in your ****, not your ******, your ****
Ok some people might like that but you know what I mean
Always caring, always worrying, always wasting 
Wasting time 
With commitment 
The abundance of things you could partake in
If it wasn't for commitment
Maye I'm just a sad and alone loser playing Pokemon all day and no one loves me
This may be my bias
But just think of the
Dread
You get from 
Commitment

I watched as the storm gathered its strength                         c. 6.11.14 J.Ray
As it summoned its lightning from the heavens
I listened for the thunder and marveled at its resonance.
I watched as the rains came and drenched the land
Each grain of dry land was consumed by its own thirst.
I watched as the river roared, and carved a new way
I watched as the trees swayed, but stood firm in the soil
I watched as the storm passed, along with its darkness and unfounded fear
As the darkness gave way to light, the sun no longer hides his face from me
We weather the storms that life brings, this way we can appreciate the sun
Sometimes we tend to go our own way, as the river, and carve out our existence
Sometimes we are swayed, but must stand firm, and hold on by our roots
Sometimes we are so overcome by want, that we are consumed by that very desire
As does the ground, we remain, and bask in the light.
Watching and waiting
For the next storm

i struggle
thinking about the difference between reality and what i've made up in my head
sometimes i get confused about whether I'm real or...
- the obvious word choice is dead right?
but **** that because i'm not.

i'm so alive i can feel my heart beating all the time
i can hear my blood gushing through me
this isn't some 20 year old shyster declaring death
this is a tirade against every black cell in my glowing body.

i don't want to feel nothing
but i don't want to feel this:

a hopeless sense of nothing where you can't attach to anything
a feeling that you have so much to say but you can't get the words out
and you have no one to tell
a holding back of tears all day long until dark when suddenly
you feel ok again
but you have a sense of dread, because you know that it will be back tomorrow.
i wrote a ****** poem about the night for my english class and my teacher looked concerned
i told her it was a joke
because why the **** would i tell her anything else

every word i've ever written anywhere i want to erase
every single thing i've said i'm wincing at in embarrassment
if i could eat words i'd be fat, gorging on the humiliation that found its home in my vowels syllables nouns adjectives verbs and mutterings

i feel quite sick at the thought that it's only 13:51 and i have a whole life to lead.

Darkness curls around me
I fall into a sleep
No hands Are there to save me
Grimm is there to reap.

As I place my dark crown
The daemons..
They try to drag me down
To show me the "right" way
But all I want to do is stay
Ever since I met You ive wanted
Our love to be true
Still hands grab and tear
Until I am left broken and bare

I am king of fear and dread
Yet Not a single word ive said
Except of course to you..
My love
My life
My saviour
True