i never thought remembering
would burn this much, nor that it would consume my sleep at night.
I remember how happy and sentimental
cute clingy songs made me feel, because my pathetic heart felt every lyric.
I now find myself skipping those songs because they remind me the pain of you. That last taste of your lips that used to give me comfort, but none of it was real. How could you sit there, look me in my teared up eyes and lie to my face? I wonder how many times you touched me, kissed me knowing **** well you did not love me anymore, these questions torment me on my daily basis. Therefore I keep myself busy to distract my thoughts from you,
I can heal all i want, but how do i get this feeling of betrayal off my skin? I find it very ironic how you used to blame me for the sins you were comitting. Broken promises and blood spilling, but you're perfectly fine.
That's such a *******.
These memories became a wound on my soul and you my stabber but i gave you the dagger, i regret you all the time. We became a tainted memory id like to fully erase from my being.

on your last day
the sun was shining
and big white clouds ran across the sky

someone held you tight
and told you, "i love you"
admired you
and cherished you

on your last day
all of your love poured out

you inspired
and you soared
you lived
and you died

your love remains
always

I find myself hiding
under my bed sheets,
every corner of my room haunts me.
The alcohol on my breath worries my mother.
The aroma of your cologne
remains impregnated on the sweater
I wore the last time I saw you .
I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth
and even though this feeling consumes me,
I would not choose you again.
I hate the way I left but what I hate even more
is the fact that you were gone way before me.
My favorite part after a long and exhausting day
was to walk by that one street corner,
that **** corner where you first told me you loved me,
Now simply viewing it from afar hurts, burns.
I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me,
due the damage I had already lived through
and even so you continued to do me the same damage
I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me.
I drown in wine because it somehow brings me back to our first kiss.
Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?

its a never ending cycle,
loss after loss. Im tired of my friends
telling me that time heals, i know it does
but for a moment i just want to stop healing, breaking.
i keep breaking myself over and over, im tired.
Tired of healing, tired of breaking,
tired of giving my all and  receive nothing but sorrow.
When will I get off this labyrinth of suffering im trapped in?

you used to tell me how much you
liked my eyes and sight, just to end
up making them sore and lose their brightness.

you said you had no intentions of hurting me
but here am i, crying till im out of breath.

you said you loved me and that i made you
happy, but you still left me for her.
So tell me, how am i suppose to trust
and love another human being when none of
it was real...

she is lost but she does not crave to be found.
her world went quiet but she accepted it cause in some sick and destructive way it brought her peace and she felt safe in her own madness.
And although her days are full of tears and anguish... she cant picture herself ever getting out of this labyrinth of suffering she trapped herself in.
this is her silent punishment.

The air is crackling,
As your mind is being liberated,
Freedom is undoubtedly near,

As time is moving,
Erosion wears away even the tallest of mountains,
Relentlessly, tearing even the strongest bonds asunder,

Yet, it rekindles,
Unwavering, our flame resists,
The loitering dark.

~ Umi