i wrote so many times
to put my feelings down on the line
to rewire my thoughts
and provide some calmness to the mess

but i still feel alone
like the only one in this world
i know that’s not possible
yet the feeling is so strong

along these lines i realised
i truly am alone
others are just influences
but the decisions are all mine

i have not figured it out yet
but someday i will understand
that being alone is not so bad
it means that i am contented,

with myself.

Moon and stars I see tonight.
Laying outside without a fright.
Crickets is all I can hear,
That plays like music in my ear.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

My entire body sways
And my feet don't feel solid beneath me
I own no property
Haven't a neighbor I can see
Perhaps I can just
Make friends with the fishes
Or perhaps I will just let them be

My houseboat will have
Everything that I need;
My guitars
My notebooks
Some games
And just me

Because no one's invited
On my houseboat
Unless
They truly believe
My houseboat's
The best

I sit on top deck
watching the world go by and
I think of a giraffe

never have i felt such a contented bliss
than to feel the quiet in a world such as this

to pack my belongings within my mind
and travel the world with such wonders to find

to journey across both space and time
to live in a world that is simply mine

never has such a love unfurled
within the pages of another world

Drift off
Slower than the tide
And these hazy buttercups
On this Sunday morning
Drift off
And let your fears
Spill into the current
That passes you gently along.

Melodies take me
And light guitar strings murmur
Giving flow to my stiff bones
As they sigh in the sunlight
Staring lovingly into the bluest sky
Bluer than the green water
That sings its own harmony.

Hear the birds chant
Sparks into the air
Hear the water hush
The wind that will never come today
And the chug chug chug
Of that faithful riverboat
Keeping me steadily onwards
On its warm wooden deck.

No words can explain
This emotion, is this joy or pain?
I'm not happy but not sad either
Maybe just because of the weather?
I might be playing with words
And strumming some piano chords
Or maybe lying to myself
Telling lies until I turn deaf.
Whatever it is, I treasure what is now
I think this is contentment so I'm taking a bow.

Its been a week
Have we stop talking?
No, it just became less
I wonder why
We've talked again
Its exaggerating but
I felt relieved
Sighing heavily
It was the greatest sigh ever
We greeted like before
I smiled ear to ear
At that moment,
I wanted to write this feeling
Imaginative and motivated
Alas, I understand now
I did write, did I made sense?
But I'm happy
That's all there is to it.

You've been caressing this pain for almost a year
Up to how much could you bear?

I haven't seen it before for you were guarded
yet you let me take a peek
and now I know everything
I know your whole being

Till now, I'm still skeptic
to whether or not should I mend
those numerous holes on your heart
cause I could sense you falling apart

I refuse to do so
without knowing you'd want me to
Now I'm all puzzled as to
what I'm supposed to do

But I guess I'd still be here to accept you
and give you a hug
and a warm hot chocolate mug
while we sit on a rug
enjoying what life could offer