White powder on an iPhone case
Black coffee to mask the taste
Rolled bills against my face
Usually no one keeps pace

Sometimes I believe I've gone insane.
My allies made over a pile of *******.
Veins burning awaiting more.
Eyes sore, but my feet seem to slide over the floor.

Heart pounding, nerves firing.
Tiring, not exhausting.
A workout for the burnout.
I have few hopes as to what I’ll turn out.

Only a mind away.
Numb, but alive.
I only feel what I'm prescribed
I’ll press on, needle to a record.

**** that.
I’m digital, my ideas, critical.
I’ll wake up each day with an eye for new breath.
I’ll keep moving forward, alone or in union, i’ve got a plan, and I’m gonna seek it.
Brick by brick, my world, I’ll build it.

the self seeking*
white powder man
came
to consume her life
snorting
the only love
who'd ever embrace
a loneliness so rife

the relationship
destructive
to the soul
it propped her up
and took all control

an emptiness
he bought
a hollowness
in every facet
of his giving
the feeling of the muted line
so flippantly cold

she tossed away
the truer man's
caring
for a ******* frequency
incapable of love's
empathetic
*heart

I forgot that it stung,
Silver against my skin.
But the tickle up my nose,
Makes me feel okay again.

My heart is still bleeding,
Unsuccessful with moving on.
Thinking of you under the night sky,
Staring blissfully until dawn.

Just a piece of metal,
That's stained with red and white.
Leading me to sweet pain,
And such a lovely high.

Flawless drops of red escaping,
While this addictive white dust is introduced to my brain.
My mind feels so beautiful,
And my whole body trembles.
Thinking of the taste of your neck,
While shivers run down my spine.

The bitter taste in my throat,
Masking the emotions I suppress.
Feelings of you keep swelling up,
So I do another line to tame them.
Your charming smile vanishing,
Replaced with lustful eyes.
Calming down my heart,
And filling up my mind.

Fluttering at shutter speed.
Is it my heart inside my chest,
or my lungs palpitating.

It is my veins.  
Rushing with blood, or collapsing for lack of.

It is my stomach. Eating away its own lining;
Acidic paint splattered across its walls. Whitewashing them
With every sporadic convulsion I feel.

A fortnight,
No sleep.

When I do sleep, I do not sleep.

I am depressed. Unhappy.  Not entertained.  

Overly-dramatic.

Questioning every decision I’ve ever made about life,
I inflate with anger.

I think about opportunities passed.

I revolt with envy when I see artists prevail.

I am a miserable **** brimming with unseen talent.




I miss cigarettes.

I miss *******.

Cheap whiskey and grinding my teeth
until 2 in the afternoon when my bloodshot eyes’ll tell you more
than you could ever learn reading my palms.

Fake prophesies of people who never really cared,

and rooms lit up with cheap disco lights and moist carpets.
Perfectly ripened with mildew and sweat and DNA.


The saved lives of unborn infants.


The lucky few.

I feel like life is over,
Can’t stand the pain,
Come on an get it over,
This living's insane,
Popped into the fire,
Now I’m playing the game,
Unfulfilled desires,
Will it ever change?

I wander through the park on a Saturday night,
Scorin’ up a piece, now I’m hitting that pipe,
I’m broke, outta work, I’m thrown under the bus,
With two quarters in my pocket under ****-crowing Je-sus!

Take it! Take it…take it all, all, all, all,
Take it all, get high and fall.
Take it all, all, all, all, take it all, all, all, all,
TAKE IT…TAKE IT…all, all, all,
Take it all, get high and fall.
TAKE IT, all, all, all,
TAKE IT all, all, all, all…

Can he see me?
Can he hear me?
My mind’s a blank,
Time is slowing down...
The pain is all gone,
Push it, load it up,
It’s nearing dawn,
Come on an get it up,
Yeah it’s nearing dawn!

I wander through the park on a Saturday night,
Scorin’ up a piece, now I’m hitting that pipe,
I’m broke, outta work, I’m thrown under the bus,
With two quarters in my pocket under ****-crowing Je-sus!

Take it! Take it…take it all, all, all, all,
Take it all, get high and fall.
Take it all, all, all, all, take it all, all, all, all,
TAKE IT…TAKE IT…all, all, all,
Take it all, get high and fall.
TAKE IT, all, all, all,
TAKE IT all, all, all, all…

spoken word

*I wander through the park on a Saturday night,
Scorin’ up a piece, now I’m hitting that pipe,
I’m broke, outta work, I’m thrown under the bus,
With two quarters in my pocket under ****-crowing Je-sus!

Magic man of monophonic root
wreak havoc on the planets of
the yester-years I never saw.

‘Til this very morning, I wake.
I listen to the thirst and fear
and funk of a trembling flower.

******* and pain is hard to
swallow. Breathe, awkwardly
through stars of the regular.

Your tears are too cool to cry.
They would dry up and crust
under a spotlight hotter than Mars.

But you cry to me, in the midst
of an hour, minute or day. Now
a momentous speck of stardust.

I want to tell you I'm okay
and that all is peachy keen.
I want to say I'm doing fine
and that my grades are pristine
but I alone am not enough
and despite my desperate need
for control I think I need help
of the medical persuasion,
and I'd like to think I'm strong
on my own,
but honey have you tried *******?