Philip K. What The ****.
It's here. Has been. In a fad.
I sit in a slit.

The calm of industrial evenings.
Back to the industry?
I never left.

You get clean. I get stuck.
Not that I never did want.
Cracks exist in everything.
Brief gaps in taken space.

Every crack leads from toe to head.
Every crack feeds on dusty crumbs.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice,
but the phantom pain remains as the Earth
grows into new skin, again and again.
As I attempt to accept this heart & soul
on my own, willow wisp wishes to keep me
company. My clothes cling to my limbs, I am
soaked to the bone in my own ocean.
Barely grown oak trees caress my aching
body, to bring me back home. The scent
of petrichor floods my senses, and I know.
I am clean again.

I thought I was clean,
After 5 months no drugs and alcohol.
I thought I was safe,
After six months of not hurting myself.
Guess I was wrong.
Whatever.

today love looks like
a full body scrub.
lips
and face included.
all traces of anything not alive being removed.
all traces of anything not meant to be here gone.
feeling softer,
more free,
but no closer to ridding this body of you.
these lips
of you,
these legs
of you.
I’d clean this heart of you
if there were something made for messes there.

Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Watch him rollin watch him go
Watch him rollin watch him go
He be rolling down the street he be rolling to dat beat
He be rolling down the street he be rolling to dat beat
Watch him roll
Hey wassup
Watch him roll
HEY WASSUP!!!

I wanted to walk away
The fear that held me back
was unbearable.....
It left me confused
to who I was
and what I wanted.....
Questions
the uncertainty
left me chained to you....
Only through her kindness
and patience
I learned myself worth
and I was able to leave you
in the ruin
you would have made me


-em vidar