Secrets
Hidden within your own
Mind's eye
Truths
Yet more often than not
Debilitating lies
Moments
Some, much needed to be forgotten
Others, cherished
Memories**
So many stored so deep within
Others have been banished
Faces
Too many to tell their names apart
Wishing some to vanish

Yet all these things can tear at your heart
Some make you stronger
A fighter
Wiser

It just depends where you start

My problem is that I give.
I give until I have nothing left,
and then when I’m a fraction of myself,
I wonder why this is.
My problem is that I love.
I love without so much as a thought
of being loved back, and then when
they don’t love me back, I’m heartbroken.
They teach you about drugs;
pills, powder, injections.
They teach you about alcohol,
and its addiction.
But they didn’t teach me about that need,
inside of me to fit in, to be seen.
They didn’t tell me it’d chew me up,
and spit me out.
See, they didn’t tell me about love,
or giving until you have nothing left
in hopes of fitting in, in hopes
of feeling something so magical
it’s like you’re drowning.
So I gave until there was nothing left,
and they took without so much as a thought about their theft.
And I loved, loved until I thought I’d run out,
wasting it on people who didn’t care or deserve it.
That’s my problem.

the stars were trying
to impersonate
your eyes tonight,
and art is trying
to make someone
love you,
the stars and art
were so convincing
that it made me vow
to cherish you
like you are
the most expensive
piece of art
and the most
unreachable star
that ever existed.
(j.a.t.m)

I travelled place to place
Looking for something I needed
From Texas to Europe
To New York and Mexico.
I could not find it
What is this thing
I wondered
That they call living?
I looked everywhere
Carefully planning my future
But then
One day I turned around.
I saw all of my past experiences behind me
The good times
The bad times
The nights I felt alive
And I simply said
*oh.

You are my shelter;  
Your arms protect me
And your voice comforts;
You are my safety.

Your compassion is
Endless, yet so full
As your heart is strong,
And so beautiful.

Everything good ends;
It is simple fact.
I'll cherish this time
We have us intact.

Another fact that is true:
I could never forget you.

The things I cherish,
come crushing down.
The feeling of betray,
come cutting down,
The trust been build
come breaking down,
Reason of saying,
the four letter words.

An artistically woven
turquoise woolen
pullover made
out of the finest
moher fabric
made my day.

Made for you,
to be caressed
and cherished
as a perfect
garment.

It looked so good
on you, my darling!

Rainbow colors always
bring me happiness and
I gently touch you,
feeling already safe
as a deer in a flowering
forest; within narcotically
scented alluring hug, we
embrace again, tightly,
you and me, entwined.

Whiffed winds melody
played through tall pine
tree tops as a flute song
swaying branches. It seemed
as they are affirming our walk
along the shore, where the river
meets an ocean, hand in hand,
peacefully.

And, yet, every time the
strong cool breeze exposes
your magnificent masculine
figure in that woolen top,
my coolness faints into the
void and dissolves itself.

Our urge emerges!
I feel your fingertips touch
as a passionate flame dance
over my face, you turn my
head up toward your loving
gaze, wanting it so much,
slightly pulling me up
then burning my lips.

Our hurried steps are heard,
echoing as a rushed tempo
on the salty path, fresh air
lingers around us, leading
us to our charming summer
suite, to undress. And love.

This year was a really good one
and I have God to thank for that

I learned to focus on the process
and not on the result
to really be honest
and to never insult

I learned that people change
and feelings range
from full
to null

I learned to place my happiness
in the One and only who will never let me down
To take life's crappiness
with a smile rather than a frown

To work hard
and pray for the best
To take in regard,
with how much I'm blessed

To love myself
and my quirkiness,
To not place feelings on the shelf
for other's cleanliness

To be confident
about all of me
And to compliment
things I liked to see

To treat things
as I want them to be,
and so they shall be
within my conformity

To improve
with every minute
and to move
forward with no limit

To take each day
as it comes
rather than sway
on possibilities, tons

To love,
and to love,
and to be.