Someday someone will see the play of my life; my curse,
And she’ll find you, you - my favourite verse.
She’ll know how our eyes met and hear our voices dance,
But she'll never know what I felt, when I took the chance.
The gods smiled and quipped “Love is truly blind”,
“We live on borrowed time, love, and I don’t mind”.
What happened she’ll ask, just hold his hand,
But how could I ever tell her, she’ll never understand.

It wasn't just an epiphany, no, I knew it from the moment we met,
In the glances that lasted just a second less.
Over and over I asked myself, “Why must you stay then?”,
But heaven knew I didn't want to put down our pen.
I could still see us, somewhere in the bittersweet haze,
But your “I love you”s always meant that I was just a phase.
I didn't jump and rejoice “The stars have aligned”,
“We live on borrowed time, love, but I don't mind”.

You told me you loved me straight from the heart,
But your words and your heart were always miles apart.
I told myself “That’s it. It's over. You’ve had your time.”,
Maybe some loves aren't meant to be divine.
I knew we were no longer my beloved rhyme,
The show’s over, darling, we’re out of time.
When I look back, I doubt I’ll ever hit  rewind.
“We lived on borrowed time, love, but I didn't mind”.

Tonight stands still, like how I stand when I see you
The smoke hangs in the air, like my feelings when I see you
I smile, as I imagine us doing all the stuff couples do
and I think I feel happier when I do, I think

I feel like tonight is going too slow
I feel like you wouldn't really know
What goes on in my head
When I beg myself to tell you instead

When you take me to that special place
It puts my head in a special case
Where my stomach is crushed
And my lips are hushed

I think I feel sadder when you smile
Especially when it's not from me
And I envy them for a while
To be what I can't be

I believe you don't care about me
Because that's really the truth
Or at least that's what my head says
I never told you but I really am a mess

But you knew that already
I don't think you know though
But in the end, if the shoe doesn't fit
Just end it, or just force it.

I hope you never forget me
Our inside jokes and the memories I see
When I close my eyes, longing
For that heartbreaking belonging

I hope you don’t forget my smile
Or the way I look like while I cry
I hope our memories still haunt you,
Because I miss you every time I lie

I want to know why
You started treating me like somebody else
I miss who we used to be
It was just us
And we seen each other every day
But now I can see the color fade
In your eyes when you see me
And the weight of regret.

I want to know why
You started acting like everyone else
They got tired of me
Because I love so violently
And now, you pull away
When I want you close

You lied, about a few things
Like wanting to get married
Or wanting to breed
I just wish you hadn't wasted my time
With false hopes
That I will ever be happy
And my ******* OCD
Keeps cutting into my stomach
To let me know I'm alone
I guess I won't say a word
Because the last thing you'd do
Is check your phone.

"Take a break everyday,
Grieve what burdens you", they said
I chose my tea time
One hour in the evening, everyday
But I do not know why
It never seems to end
When one ends,
The other starts
The sun rises, the sun sets
Day ends, a new day starts
But I have a tea break
That just never ends

The pain was brutal, unable to bear
She was gone forever,
Why wasn't I there for her?
While she prayed for me to stay with her?
Was I even a good lover?
But she was gone forever,
Never to say, "Only you and I, hereafter"

Closed my eyes to drown the regret,
But all the good memories with her
Were now nightmares, too much to bear,
But she was gone forever,
Never to make new ones, ever

The pain was brutal, why was she gone?
I looked at the mirror, saw a broken one
What made me lose her, my only one?
I will remove them, one by one!
And once I was done
I looked at the mirror, saw they were gone
The one left standing, the one she loved,
I smiled at myself, I sat down
It was quiet all around
Also, inside
I was free
Forever in peace

My heart was broken by my first love for many reasons,
yet none were sufficient enough to give me closure.
I know she will never love me again,
At least not the way she used to.
Yet despite the empty space and the vast distance between us
I cannot give up or further myself from her.
Why can I not just let her go?

The world says to me that I'd be doing us both a favor.
One last act of love. "Let her go".
Get a life, be free, be better, "Let her go".
Focus on yourself, push yourself, "Let her go".
It'll come with time, don't try so hard. Just... let her go...
Yet despite what the world will tell me,
how easy others drop and move on.
I believe it's facade, a mask covering their feelings.
Nobody but the internet knows I haven't moved on.
It's easy to put on a mask and pretend you have let her go.

But I ask of you, when the pain a year ago is still as fresh today,
how does one... actually... "Let her go"

I once thought I was crazy
I doubted you were even real
I thought I was in a psych ward once
But reality has been revealed

I wasn't in a ****** bin
You and I had really met
And you did everything I thought
Now you claim that you regret

You beg for my forgiveness now
You say just one more try
But you made me think I was crazy
You made me wish to die

You lied and cheated and gaslit me
Till I was nothing but a shell
Then you left me for dead
You chose somebody else

It wasn't until I told you
That I had nothing left to give
I stopped giving you my time
And I remembered how to live

Now suddenly you need me back
News flash but I'm not blind
I finally see the truth for what it was
My whole world was realigned

You forced me to come to terms
With the full picture of us
And honestly I can not believe
I had ever gave a ****

I have been a raging fire.
I have been an overflowing cup,
Overflowing with guilt;
I wash it down the sink.
I have been too much for everyone:
Too bold,
Too shy,
Too lustful,
Too innocent.
I poured a bucket of ice on my head
To simmer me down a little bit,
And now that I am freezing,
And I cannot feel the fire no more,
I have met you, the blaze.
And your warmth was burning off my skin,
And it was melting my face off,
And it was too much.
Far too much.
You have given me light and burning warmth,
But I cannot handle the smoke.
I now know how he felt.
I am choking,
So I have left.
I will be too little and too much on my own.
I do not need a spark to jolt me.