Often, I think back.
Grip on the childhood
uncurls, slowly.
If the muscles don't fail,
bones will break. Oh,
Did you ever get
over your neglect?
Comes and goes,
Bexis, comes and goes.
Too high an expectation,
receive your input
and your feedback.
Grip on my childhood
memories loosens,
sudden. In your descent,
you grow terminal.
Your heart beats so hard
it might rip through
your ribs to fly upward,
back to the summit.
All your love, it is not lost, I
lap you up, still.
Is this separation unreal?
I can never figure out if
I'm naive or cynical,
if I'm worthy or worthless.
How did you feel,
when with me?
How did I feel,
when with you?
If the muscles don't fail,
bones will break.
If we play with what's at stake,
will we ever learn and grow?
And if so, is it worth this grinning ghost?
We'll make it,
either way.

His name, his name has been written inside of me as if my body was paper
It's as if each letter has been carved on my naked heart (and I can't escape it)
And it hurts painfully, my eyes are getting wetter
And I can't face this weather
(tear drop rain and love heart clouds).

And his little stabbing words haunt me like
the ghosts of future memories
(The ones that will never take place)
They sing stupid stick lullabies
where the sounds of your voice feels like
something I will learn to miss.  

Due to the sight of him, he makes me casually swim in His Ocean
I would cry for his affections
I would cry and cry until Our Oceans become
One
And every thought would be his and would be mine too.


Having a crush is like being in the Summer Rain.........  




(Being (or thinking you are) madly in love with someone is normal, it creates madness, but just be aware of it, because love that you desire awaits you, you just need to be patience) Being patience is a virtue.

Dazed minds
Tear stained cheeks

The result
of a broken heart
a broken mind

The ones you love
It's never enough for them

I just can't win, can I?

I’ve never broken down like that before

My feet went numb
My head was made of stone
My eyes were waves
My voice was crackling like rocks
My hair was draping
The floor was my bed
Your words were my antagonist

I couldn’t breath

I couldn’t believe

I was breaking

Even your
Brain needs
Cleaning once in a
While,
Because the bad memories will
Always shine,
While the best are left in
Dust.
But sometimes
My vacuum cleaner
Breaks down.

For the truth, I've cut my ties with the collective

I find no relevance in this world

I am a mere onlooker, a silent seeker

Conforming myself to the likes of an outcast

Without any regret, however, I find support in my mind,

In a clairvoyant entity I have only surmised,

And a place I can only envision; the one in the sky

My soul belongs to something greater, but elsewhere

I intend to find my purpose, for the truth is all I need

However, as triumphant as an ultimate answer may be,

The world during the course of a search for meaning,

Is chilled and repetitive, constantly threatening sanity.

I am painfully aware that under this roof I have the most privilege

I do not have diagnosed depression like my father

I do not have to keep a family afloat like my mother

So how selfish it is of me to complain

When you witness the breakdown of another, you learn to accept your own destruction just to keep the peace