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I find it hard to describe the longing I feel when I think of what’s to come,
The feeling of space in my stomach, making room for future plans and goals.
Sometimes it’s exciting, the possibilities endless in their quest for satisfaction.
Sometimes it’s terrifying, the fear of wasting my ideas to a life of boredom and monotony.
There are so many things I want to do and so much time to do them, but what if I use the time unwisely and never get past writing a bucket list, what if my midnight dreams and sunrise hopes are only ever nice thoughts and the impractical mindset of the young?
I find it hard to describe the longing I feel when I think of what’s to come,
The feeling of space in my stomach, making room for future plans and goals.
Sometimes it’s exciting, the possibilities endless in their quest for satisfaction.
Sometimes it’s terrifying, the fear of wasting my ideas to a life of boredom and monotony.
There are so many things I want to do and so much time to do them, but what if I use the time unwisely and never get past writing a bucket list, what if my midnight dreams and sunrise hopes are only ever nice thoughts and the impractical mindset of the young?
I have so many things I want to do and am impatient to get started
How easy it is to fall into bad company

Misery is like getting into a hot bath after standing in the rain , the heat soothing bones and setting skin aflame

Loneliness, like a familiar face in a crowd, greeting you with an outstretched hand and a smile

The tiredness is a long car journey, the destination known but not unwelcome
When the morning comes, I will look back at myself and pity
AStarsHeartbeat Nov 2018
I am painfully aware that under this roof I have the most privilege

I do not have diagnosed depression like my father

I do not have to keep a family afloat like my mother

So how selfish it is of me to complain

When you witness the breakdown of another, you learn to accept your own destruction just to keep the peace
Feeling all kinds of selfish and guilty for having these emotions
AStarsHeartbeat Aug 2018
My empathy and my apathy are interchangeable
Sometimes I care too much, I feel everyone’s pain and fear as strongly as my own, wearing their anger and sorrows in my shoulders
Sometimes I’m too numb to feel much of anything
Joy and laughter go through me as though mist, excitement is a foreign language that I do not understand and don’t care to understand
Never know how to end a poem
Just need to write my feelings down
AStarsHeartbeat Aug 2018
How can I tell the people I love

That I’m scared of being average

That I’ll forever be stuck
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