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a Jul 28
the cool evening summer breeze
i hear it blow among the trees

the vivid green on a clear day
shows the growth that takes place
and that the healing will stay

but i know that there will be times
where healing fades, and the words don't rhyme

but each time i become frail
i remind myself that i have not failed
the pain will subside
and my love will rise
I really hate the heat but was inspired by it somehow (??).
a May 16
tears stained red
god, I wish I was dead

I long to tear myself apart
to no longer be a being

I wish to disappear
into the void
for my body to become an empty vessel
for my soul to be freed

I wish for the thoughts to stop

I wish I could stop hurting myself
slicing my skin open for some sort of feeling

I wish it would stop.
it is almost midnight and for some reason, I was drawn here to write after the longest time.
a Mar 5
the marks on my skin
scars, you say?

no

these are not scars
not battle scars to me

for me, they tell me a story,
one that gets told time and time again
because each time the story slips
it must be rewritten
retold
reborn

In some states of mind, these could be battle scars
but that is another's perception

every mark to the skin
every broken piece
every cell split open
wow, I've been gone for a little bit. Kind of had an epiphany and started to write. Hopefully, I am back in the groove of writing for a little longer. My mind has been so cramped and full, and hopefully, my writing more will help me.
a Dec 2018
Dazed minds
Tear stained cheeks

The result
of a broken heart
a broken mind

The ones you love
It's never enough for them

I just can't win, can I?
wow, I've been gone for a hot sec. I swear I'll try to post more.
a Dec 2018
That feeling
Before the first sob escapes:

Body shakes
trembles
the lump in the throat
the suffocation
the complete
and utter despair
face scrunches
eyes ******* shut
the muffled noise
like everything around you disappears
And all you are left with is the sadness and bitter thought that you have no one
and you seem to never
l
e
   t
it
g
  o
a Dec 2018
You never know
the true meaning of grief
until you witness
someone you love
disappear.

The light of your life
suddenly is gone
and shifts your world to dark
and you're stuck
because you were never prepared for the dark
but life is like that
and sadly you had to be the light that disappeared
        -to granny; I love and miss you dearly, and I hope you are not in any more pain, wherever you are.
This is a very personal piece. Grief is a terrible and consuming emotion. If you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open.
a Dec 2018
I want my tears to spill
I want to become enveloped
by this wave of strong and deep emotion
but all I can do
is sit at my desk
and stare numbly
blankly
emptily
at the board in front of me
another piece from my notes
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