We are all allowed a small sprinkling of sincerity when brought into this world
A gift that many of us fail to see or lose once we have
This is a truth that I have been referred to by my never-ending endeavor
One I wish I had known my entire life and now will never let go
One I will forever fail to let go

to feel is to
be human

to be human
is to live

and to live
is to go through life
its challenges
the ups and downs

the silhoutte
of a roller coaster
which either
makes you fret or bet

yet i am
i am tired
exhausted
of it all

feeling aches
in my heart
from memories
of neglect

what a catatonic
person i am
to even still feel
such an outburst

all at once

Shhhhh...
I'm slowly losing my mind
I think I am
The voices they say it's fine
But I dont feel like I am

I can feel it
The curse striking back
The curse of the loveless
The curse of loneliness

Each time I break down
Each time I add another mark
Each time I feel pain
Each time I feel death calling me

I start believing in the voices
The ones that say I'm worthless
The ones that say It wont be better
The ones that say I'm not enough

Cause they're right
I don't know when will be the last time
I write something
I think It'll be soon now

As I feel like I'm close
Close to breaking down
Close to doing it
Close to entering my final breath

Soon I shall utter my final words
Not now
Soon
I'll be a memory

Not a good one to most people
And forgotten by the rest

Just after midnight
The first hour strikes.
A shiver in the dark.
Blood runs still in the soul.

The clock jerks forward
Like the knife in the
Killer’s hands.
Unsteady.

There goes the chime
The third hour comes.
The clutching of rigid fists.
Immobile, yet feverish.

Then comes the wicked crimes.
A banging on the wall, silently sharp.
No one notices a thing.
Just a lonely person berating walls

A tear drips
From the soul of the weeper.
The hours that struck
They took the night deeper.

A splitting cry worse
Than the
Hummingbird’s flapping wings. Silence in the night
The clock had struck
Eleven.
Aid was never
Given.

Time was lost track of.
Chime after chime faded into sound sleep.
The thirteenth hour was called.
Could anyone do a thing?

The pleas were never answered. Because they
Were never
Called.
The fourteenth hour has arisen.
The other hours faded in comparison.