I’ve been craving female companionship as of late. The need to have her in my presence at all times. I want her, face against the wall with joyfully erratic breathing, hands tied behind her back. I want her on all fours, head swivelled my direction with a smiling look of pleasure. I want her legs wide open for me, only because it’s me, only because it’s her. I want my tongue to make musical instruments of her ******* and *******. I want her to put me in her mouth so I can see her eyes tearing with shameless sin. I want her in her parents’ bedroom, I want her in tut rooms and auditoriums, I want her in the back of my car, in McDonalds, in elevators, under restaurant tables and on top of kitchen counters, I want her to say my name under soft moans during rough rounds. I want her in as savage a manner as possible.

I want her sitting in silence with me. I want her to listen to my ramblings, to sit there and be present. To exist. I want her to have her own ramblings, to educate me. I want her lips to be available for me at all times, for my head to make pillows of her chest. I want to introduce her to Ben Howard and Tom Misch, to Planet Hulk and The Pixar Theory. I want flowers to remind me of her. I want her to cradle me when Chelsea loses, to stroke her hair and rub her tummy when she has monstrous cramps. I want to hear ‘I love you’ over loud laughs between soft kisses. I want her on butterfly wings. I don’t know who she is, but dear God I want her to laugh, because I know I’m going to love her laugh.

I want so much from her, I want her to want so much from me. I want so much that I never wanted before. Only thing I’ve been wanting was to feel again, now I need to feel again in order to get what I want. I want her. I want more than me.

I’ve been feeling a certain emptiness
I feel like I’m not enough
I’m not enough to make myself as happy as I want to be.
I feel like there is nothing more I can do for myself.
For so long, I’ve been happy because all I’ve wanted, I’ve given myself
Or I’ve taken, but
I don’t satisfy myself anymore,
And I can’t take what I now want.
I think, for the first time in a long time, I feel lonely.
- Kata

The sage spoke with calmness facing the peaceful sea. Son I keep Wondering where the next war would be, who else would R.I.P before we embrace wisdom. Everyday, tears plague my eyes but fail to fall. Where would it fall? No soil to bury deep this pain for even the earth is full, Like a pregnant woman begging for rest.

I have seen so many dreams fall apart and dreamed so many falls on parts built of spikes and fear. These days I await the awaking for what has become has become. Our thoughts for the future looks bleak and sad. This freedom we so speak of, this norm, this equality in time, far from near.

For as long as this village boils every second while we sleep in silence and our care to our pocket of comfort like a drought in sight, there would be fire burning our egocentric self. Look at the ones we spat on, look at the cemeteries. Wisdom no longer thrive our fantasy. We dream of selfish division more than closeness in this cold world. We call it black, we call it white, but we forget these colors stream and will always stream from the same source of life. The plight of humans is not money, but wisdom and the strength and courage to act in love.

Donald