You turn down the light,
you know it's time to go to bed.
Because dreading on this page
doesn't seem so worth it now.

You close those green eyes,
arms wrapped around
the letter against your heart.
Your life flashes back
like a little story in your head.
Wondering what happened
to that little boy.

We'll never know.

Tuck yourself closer
into these sheets.
Let the moon rise,
let the stars come out
into another restless night.

Let your mind slip away
under the pillow.
Let 'em run,
let 'em scream,
let 'em be free.
Because you know your better off
somewhere other than here.

Tucked into blue sheets,
knowing your sane
but everybody thinks otherwise.
Let them think what they want.

The demons come knocking
on your door
dressed in white.
I know you want to
push them away,
you don't want to do this
anymore.

Waking up to lies and lies again,
The more they talk,
the more you start
believing them.

I believe but in what
I believe the sun's ray allows us to create vitamin D
I also believe my moods are affected by my mate
Because when he's upset
I'm bothered
When he's happy
I'm elated to know he's well
When I'm not well
He's unhappy!
Why?
It bothers him when I'm not well

In the beginning there was nothing.
The nothing from which we came.
The nothing to which we will return.
            The nothing that we were...

Before the word

Before light and dark

Before good and bad

Before truth and deceit

Before life and death

Before the complexities of reality and unreality...

The Beginning.
        The Universe.
                           God.
                              Us.
                                 Nothing.

                          We are nothing.
                      Everything is nothing.
                         Nothing is eternal.
    (So) What will become of us in the end?
                        
                        

                        We know nothing.

A thousand tumbles takes a bottle in the sea-
a thousand dashes and whirls and swoops.
A million grains of sand takes that bottle in the sea,
to break apart, to come to me
in fragments like a snowflake fractal.
How many mermaid miles till she hands that glass to me?
For I've taken out my very-ness, for you.
- And my crossness.
My judgement and wrath.
I've taken out slight hot breathe
               (for you to melt the ice on your whiskers.)
I've taken out my toes when they are reaching for yours in the cavernous blanket world  through the forest of our lazy limbs.
I've taken out my righteousness
and my second guessing.
I've taken out for you (a surprise, I was going to surprise you!)
all the times you were going to be wrong to me-
          and to wrong me...
taken them out to sea, you see?
In that bottle, pretty bottle. Broken now like too many vows.
I've taken out my knowing best and finding better.
I've taken out the half moon of your thumbnail as well
...I will miss that in my night sky-
(perhaps I'll keep that after all.)
I'll take out the complacency of holding your hand getting out of a chair.
and the mindless strokes
as you explain
my commonplace crazy
to
simpler minds-
I'll take out the very-ness of me, and the we-ness of us.
and fill a bottle with a the brine of a thousand tears from hundred slights not slighted quite yet.
I fill the bottle and gift the sea
with the softness of you and the brashness of me.
A thousand turnabouts it takes to reach you on the beach,
a sea glass diamond ring, engage me you engaging man-
and the tides tickles my feet in anticipation, marry me. marry me.
just a sea glass promise
for a mermaid bride
waiting for the sailor man to sing her sweetly with salt on his lips
Just a sea glass lullaby from the man who loves me so.
Marry me, marry me
And we drink sparkling water from a sea glass flute
and we drink all the us and we drink all the we
for sea glass could never hold a second in,
sea glass is far too vain not to shine in the sun fanning
your invite out in a spectrum of color that
a small child's hand creates when he holds it up to the rays.
Spills out all of my intentions
Spoiled child, loved child,
Spills out all of my intentions carelessly on the sandy floor for the tides to swallow whole.
My sea glass prism chucked unceremoniously back to sea
and me the mermaid bride left at her own alter...
But a seashell to your ear and her my wailing sorrow calls,
'marry me, sailor. marry me.'


sahn 8/5/14

Why do people keep secrets?
Can I trust you?
Can you keep it?
Wait does it have to be school appropriate.
Wait should I even say ****
Ya forget it
I know I'll get judged for my past
That's why I keep
secrets in sacristy
If my past doesn't matter to me
Why can't you just trust and believe
That that's not who
I once was
Cause there's a new
Girl
And she wants to be accepted for what she stands for
Not stood
If you hate my past
Then sorry homie but there's the door
Get your mind out if the past
We don't live there anymore
It's the present we need to learn to adore
Cause this is what I stand for:
I stand for believing in who we are
Set your standards up far
Its that bully's issue
If he crosses the bar
Don't let them get the best if you
It's time you prove
To yourself that you are not afraid of the truths
What I stand for is to just Cruz
With your chin higher then cowards that are just rude
Your the one with power
I'm me
And I say it proudly

I** fall in love with passion.

The way someone's face lights up when they talk.
The way they can't get enough of something they really, really like.
The way they thirst for adventure and experience.
The way they never stop dreaming and believing because they have that much faith that it will, one day, be worth it.
The way they always build people up and make others feel like they're floating on clouds.
The way they do things they may not love, for the people they love.

And that's why I've fallen in love with you.