I am sorry for the way I handled our problems
All the screaming and throwing around blame
How I gave into your darkness so easily
Should have conquered your demons, instead one more I became.

I cannot deny you led the way
I should have tried harder to turn you around
At least looked where we were going
Instead of keeping eyes trained on the ground.

It wasn't simple at the time to see
My eyes heavy with denial and yours with shame
I desperately needed you to be the answer
Instead of a go-to scapegoat to bear all our pain

I do not want you to think it's all your fault
I do not want you to look like the bad guy
Don't want to be enemies from now on
I'm begging our egos to let grudges die.

Do you really believe I don't care?
You would realize if you opened your eyes
It's plainly written in my poetry
Love simple to read in pages and lines.

It's hard to say who ****** up more
Even when your regrets die mine will live
My heart was too easy of a target
Stolen before I had the chance to give

Every day mistakes kept adding up
I was distracted by your smile
They became heavy weights our shoulders couldn't bear
We collapsed after a few more bitter miles.

I should have seen the outcome coming
Should have noticed your eyes lose that spark
I'm sorry I couldn't save us, tried to show you the light,
When I failed my soul also was engulfed by the dark.

I may always be me

-

Yet, without you I am not

I hold my love for you
like the frail egg of a blue jay,
and I beg my shaking fingers to hang on.
There is a thumping beat within
threatening to break free from
thin shell.
I gently cup this in my palm
and I dream of the day it can beat alongside your thundering heart,
a thought to
soothe
my
worries
and
feed
a

steady

slow


pulse.