But everyone sees this fake facade of me
Not knowing how I really be
Always wanting to cut my skin red
And even some nights just put a gun to my head

But as long as the publics happy, as long as yall are cool
Yall don't see the pain inside me the grown into a beast
A beast that never can be tammed
Who would ever love a ****** girl like me?

The one who says she's "happy", one who says she's "fine"
When in reality all I don't want is to be confined
Pushed into a dark corner, force to see no light
Suffocated by the darkness, slowly adapting

All I wanted was to feel someone's touch
But instead I feel the touch of the bottle pressed against my lips

I wish people could view me as a person who isn't
 happy, secure, and well balanced

Not seeing the darkness underneath

The same darkness that tells me to pick up the knife
And slice the blue apple into a million parts
Praying for myself to pick up the pieces
Before these dark thoughts overcome me

Continuing the cycle of self-abuse
Knowing that no one will ever love me
Because how can they when I don't love myself

Myself that I've been with for X amount of years
I don't know why Im still crying these same **** tears
The tears of emptiness and no emotions
That manifests to loneliness

The feeling of common feelings
That heartache and irrational
Thoughts and figures that appear

I know that death is easy, sounds like pure bliss
However the darkness of the smoke fills my head
It clouds even the easiest parts of me

The very same smoke that suffocates me as I slowly adapt
That's pushed me into a dark corner where the light doesn't reach
Confined by the reality that I don't want to be in

"She not okay, she's not happy nor fine"

The ****** girl that will never find love
Transforms into a beast that has been freed
That uses its pain to feed off of
To avoid depriving the publics happiness to feed on

Some nights I want to use the gun instead
And start to see my pretty skin turn red
But I don't know how it's really suppose to be
To live in a word without the fake facade of me.

As time loses its very identity
there is one last chance to revive the dead in the shade of the collapsed temple

So begins a war of beasts to exterminte the god of lost hopes

when I was a child I thought I was beauty
when I was an adult I thought I was the beast
now that I am old I realise I am both
in perfect balance
and its okay

Captain Rackstraw ~
Log entry 04

To the grave shall I take these letters. The British navy must never find them, if they do all of the legends will crumble and be forgotten as ancient myths. You see the sea monsters are real, I’ve seen them with my own eyes. I have seen the power of the Steipereidur, a massive monster-whale like creature. The cowards that call themselves the “British Navy” would have you believe that it is a merciless beast that leaves no one left alive when it attacks. On the contrary it is the savior of us simple fishermen. The Steipereidur fights for us against other creatures that mean us harm, (this includes of course the British thieves.) That is the main reason the Navy wishes to have people hunt the gentle giant, they fear her.
~Close log

a churning in your abdomen
like the clenching of your fists to show the whites of your knuckles
like the contracting of your heart muscles to pump blood from head to feet

a low growl
like a beast's when it sees prey after starving for days
crouching low, stalking, waiting to pounce

a waft of fresh blood
the animal had lunged; it caved into ******* desires,
incisors cutting through sinews

warm red liquid spilling all over
a ****** mess, clouding vision
a beast devouring, feeding until it's the only one standing
the only one cackling

a gulp
of fresh air clears the mind
is one meal enough to satiate the beast?
through a reflection one sees their beast
lingering, hiding amongst shadows
dormant, creeping beneath stained skin

"Out, ****** spot!"
but from head to feet, the ****** is me.

My steps have led me
To a far unknown place
Where the Beast is hiding,
Where the Dark is shining
Across the other side
Of the moor.

Magpies have sung me
About a far unknown place
Where my Heart is hiding
Into a deep dark well
On the other side
Of the moor.

My memories have left me
Into a black unknown place
Where a patient Solitude awaits,
Unnatural Silence circulates
A deep dark well
On the blackest side
Of the moor.

*The Beast is laughing...

Devils wear blood as there suit and gold as soul.

Dream I bend dream I dream alive.

Bring dark to darker, once under covers now the sheet glowing bright orange.

Evil staff places it's self away from its holder.

Mind of its own, it shatters the sky liquid metals fall claps and grasp, for the sights of medal beetles.

The sky bleeding metal steel at this point.

A skinned meaty finger then seen coming threw into world.

A stern rigid voice heard the villagers talking amongst each other.

Worry as the hand reache's for the trees.

Pulling them up slowly.

And as the Earth rumbles from the pulling of the trees.

You could see faces drenched in tears from the fright and might of this rigid hand.

Oh, how many times I cried
How many moments I wanted still...
Too much pain to bleed
But much more love to tell...

You are a beast,
a monster,
an evil soul,
with an ugly vendetta
and a heart of stone.

You play games with people's minds,
use them like pawns in your world,
but the thing you don"t realize is
I'm not just an ordinary girl.

I'm strong and powerful,
brave and mighty.
My heart is gold,
my soul
beaming.

I am your undoing.
The end to your games.
I stand against you,
my army behind me.
Countless soldiers
ready for battle.

You can't win against us;
our cause is just,
to strike down the evil,
the monster
the beast.

And the beast,
my dear,
is you.