If life was simple you'd still be right here
In a parallel universe I'm holding you near
Black and white would be so much easier to understand
Than the shades of grey blurring distance between where we stand
My world used to be colorful and bright
Since you left I'm surrounded by darkness of constant night
You made things easier with just one caring touch
In your absence I find my problems are too much
Clearly you love me or my messages you'd ignore
But lately I wonder what you take the risk for
You are currently involved in a blooming romance
That's why I am reluctant to give you another chance
You've made each moment together feel better than heaven above
There is nothing on this planet as unique and strong as our love
We express our emotions in our own individual way
Believe we are meant to be at the end of the day
I wonder why fate has forced our fingers far apart
Maybe I need to accept that your presence can only exist in my heart
We are bad for eachother
As toxic as cyanide
We were made for chemical reactions building up inside
As soon as your kiss is deposited onto my lips
The scale balancing our desires suddenly sags and then tips
Yet we are drawn in hopelessly despite inevitable explosion
Our world only shaped by resulting corrosion
I look forward to the damage you inflict without second thought
I'd choose to live without you if I could but I cannot
The beauty in the chaos created is something no one can deny
I embrace not just sunshine but the storms that grace our cloudy sky
Because I've learned that the intense highs come with equally low lows
It's a fair exchange and it's just the way it goes
But the ecstasy delivered makes it worth the disappointment and heartache
I'd go to hell and back for you as many times as it takes

one day
you will realize
that they are never coming back
and that will be the day
you finally grieve

Esther l. Krenzin

I haven't been able to write for awhile,
I've been more focused on just trying to smile.

I have loved and lost,
Each time with a bigger cost.

This time around my heart was broken,
Yet he wears pieces like a token.

When I needed someone the most,
They left like a ghost.

I let my cuts go deeper without a care,
Making sure that no one was aware.

Writing this is like a confession,
I have a major depression.

It's been awhile since I found my inner song,
I've been looking at everything so wrong.
I disappeared into the great sea of darkness,
I tried my best but was always seen as heartless.

How can I make up for this time here?
I long for my friends to be oh so near.
I wish this wasn't the way things had to be,
But it'll take me awhile to find the real me.

I understand if you can't just wait around,
I won't be upset if you give up on my sound.
Just always remember how we used to be,
Look at the way we used to laugh and see.

III.

It took time for me to see
That it was neither them nor me, but simply that
She
never stood a chance.

For Her trunk in all Her unbridled glory,
was bound in chains,
choked out by debris
Long before Them, or Us,
or Me.
At Her inception, before
She could grow old,
the last sip of Her sap stolen,
drained, and sold.
 
Yet
 
Pieces of Her stand here to behold,
pieces of Me,
young joined with old.
Though broken as We are,
We’re a beacon of hope;
We hold secrets and memories,
stories and names,
and one day I, too,
will dance in Our shade.
 
Be it in vain, I will try
till the wind comes for me;
I’ll try to name Them,
praise Them,
to set Them free.
I vow to nourish, to prune, and ****,
restore what I’m able,
and take only what I need.
To tie Our trunk to Our branches—
and Our branches to Our leaves.
To honor Our roots,
ever trembling,
in the deepest parts of
Me.

A train sits idle
Driver turns off the headlights
Helps my night vision

Flying past cop car,
Headlights turn on in rear-view,
Turn off, I can breathe

Oncoming driver,
Flash my lights to warn them
Of deer or police

At small town train tracks
Car flashes brights at random,
Left me quite confused