When the stars shone in their first
splendor, the gods held their assembly in the sky and sang.
''unbroken unity is over all!
But one cried of a sudden,
---'It seems that somewhere there is a break in the chain of light
and one of the stars has been lost in the shadow of mortality''.

UMD
Many out there
Lost souls at sea
To outside eyes
They look normal
No obvious needs
They manage to hide
All the unknowns
Deep inside they know
They are never really alright
Voices in their head
Like they have two minds
False conclusions fed
The difference between
Real, reality and self-made
All blend together to benefit
The justification needed
To love, hate and survive
Not much else exists between
Comfort found in perfection
Life is not perfect, explain
How does this go unnoticed
Mixed baggage all piled up
Years of suppression
Years of depression
Years of wanting to let-go
Suicide known, but refused
Never really been an option
Weeks of normalcy achieved
Days of relapsing and grief
Turning points amidst it all
Promises of good change
Made but never kept
Difficulty maintaing friends
Emotions on and off
Like a light switch
On the straight and narrow
Then back in the ditch
Confident in self and strong
Insecure and weak next up
Proud of self-growth
Disgusted with oneself
UMD: covers it all
Unknown Mental Disease
To each their own
Hidden beneath the flesh
Within the rib-cage
A healthy beating heart
Within the skull
A damaged brain
A shattered mind
A habitat to a disease
Still unknowm
UMD

I never thought I’d see the day when I would agnise the depths of my desire.

Ingrained in every cell; the swell of emotion
ebbs and flows into each passing day
like the waves we’re all familiar with.
A calling card;
reminding me of the expectation of love,
the anticipation of hope,
and the abuse of obstinacy.

I learn from it everyday.
Paying respect and gratitude as tuition for the lesson called ‘life.’
Freshman year, every year.

Can’t complete the puzzle even when all of the pieces fit.
There is meaning in this.
Sometimes, I wish it wasn’t so.
But I can’t pursue it alone, so I won’t.
“If it can be realised, let it be so when the universe wants it”, is my escape.
But there is no escaping yourself.
You are the universe and it is you.

It has never felt like it wasn’t meant to be.
It has never been like it wasn’t supposed to.
Maybe one day it will manifest again.
Or perhaps fade like all beautiful, fleeting, moments.

You won’t catch me chasing something that doesn’t want to be caught.
You’ll see me walking the other way.
You’ll see my aura welcome it.
And you’ll see me turn around to embrace it with every fibre of my being.
But only if it wants the same things as I do.

If it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.

I’m doing stuff
I’m going places
I’m being bold
I’m letting go
To flow
And become present.

The earth ponders,
'I feel, a thousand deaths on my body,
no more flowers left to bloom,
no more harvest to reap,
tears have become irony'.
The sky touches the face of the blue earth and whispers,
'I am so yours'.
The earth wonders,
'How could that be.
You are boundless.
You have so starries jewels in your treasure,
stars, suns and moons,  
and I, I am little, I have no light'.
And the sky replies,
'Haven't you noticed?
Your ***** is as green
and your heart glisterning in trampled darkness'.

Why must I lose everything I own?
Why must I lose all I have loved
All that I desire, all that I've known?
Time is Relentless, dauntless.
Like a fleeting moment, like a speck of dust
In a quick heartbeat, in a fleeting breath
Loss descends like darkness
Like the deep calm of death.
but love Declares a war on loss, on the inevitable,  
asserts its arrogance, love shines its sword.
Such valiance is what makes one stand
Without fear or dilemma, unguarded
Challenging death's aggressive blows.
Yet again and again, life’s designs must fail.
Yet there is a need so great, a longing so strong
Time's lesson unheeded, all defeats ignored
Love asserts its arrogance, love shines its sword.
"You're not real , death, you do not exist"
Life asserts proudly, as death smirks on
Pride stands firm, love marches ahead
Knowing unknowingly…. that all will be gone.
that the Tears evaporate.

The mind - it is nothing.
Only just a coded gram.
Dots and lines and circles.
See you use it.
See THE CIRCLES AND LINES.
See the web laid out on the web of no web.
Head aches.
Back aches.
Belly aches.

We were never here.
No one will ever know.
Who will ever see?
None will never hear. Why?
Why should I keep doing and caring.
like matter is a thing for real?
This ... It's over.
It is the remaking of the world.
We are all amazed. Who wants to see
this drama unfold?
Who thought of a juicy story?
I am the story.
I live the dream.
If it is real it will endure.

Tell me who I am?
     You aren't a who.
Who was I?
     It's all right now. All dreamed. All matter.
You see matter come and go? How
can you take it for reality? What
are you basing any thing on? You can
be in space and
still be breathing. Underwater
and somehow walking.
Water makes up mostly
what you are as matter of facts
stacked up. Are you happy?
For this time is right here and now
just for you. If you aren't here,
nothing is. How to know? Look,
you can see. Are you anything?
     Nothing.
At some point it become ridiculous
to see the masks -
to see them fitted so
snug and perfectly matched.
Almost forgetting to
slip them off before deciding to speak.
If only.
But then the dream wouldn't be any fun. No?

Can't you see what's happened?
We've only moved further
and further away from
what we are
already here. Waking up seems
so very hard to do. Only if
you think others care. They are
living out your dream
they are feeding you
your karma. You are
chasing after God and they are
reminding you of the ghosts of your pasts.

Drop back in here. See just This.
All the ******* is still
just the same matter.
Just like feeling tired
of the same lunch options.
All the same dark matter
Means nothing without the light that I am.