The feeling of fear meeting someone for the first time
the delight looking at a little child playing
near ecstasy smelling a magnolia blossom
a secure feeling upon seeing Pampas Grass.

The unsafe feeling being with the blonde man
who had been nothing but kind to me
then… finally I remembered
the sandy-haired boy who made an object of me
at age seven behind the barn on a summer day.

So much of the self is hidden
chaining me to the old
keeping me in a caterpillar state
stumbling over chunks of earth
ignorant of what can happen
in the cocoon.

But learning, writing, remembering
can make me a Monarch
flying into spring.

I feel like I am everywhere
And everyone
For I am connected to the Universe
Channeling the Divine
Feminine
Aries Sun
Mending the world back together
Unifying spirits
Defying none
Until love is the foundation
Which builds nations
And sustains the human soul.

Moor at the orchard
wade through soft grass
and golden-yellow apples
to the pond in the middle
steaming in the evening

Enter the round basin
glide into the warm water
and swim over the bottom
of your primeval-applewise knowing
to the stairs of the tower

From the gallery, read the wind, the well
the flow of time, their ripples, their depths
and the misty shadows from later
which in the outside world
only will be recognizable

when the truth in which you
have bathed, is past
Known once remains known
somewhere in the haze of your
dressed-up consciousness

Fat across three ribs of a bright green leaf,
A dewdrop rolled onto my tongue beneath,
Served cold and fresh direct from nature's dish,
Filtered through limestone and the gills of fish,

This immortal moisture once ran like oil,
Down an ancestors back doubled in toil,
Laden with memory mossed on their tomb,
It nourished their children warm in the womb,

Through fauna and flora time and again,
Their essence combined recycled as rain,
A powerful force that dribbles and slings,
Dictating life to perishable things,

With a solution of all it has known,
Returned to the sea through everyone's home.

All my life it is

mysterious that I think --


with all my body.

regret is like playing
old movies on repeat
and wishing you were
watching new releases

pointless

waste

I will develop

billions of thoughts in my life --


like a Milky Way!

Black Part 3: Feeding the Dark

Not on your life
This world we built I won't give up this fight
This is what I get for embracing the dark

There was magic in the air
I'm holding on so very tight
This forest whispered our names
It won't let us lose to this game.

Not on your life
I know what's deep in my heart
I won't let you surrender to the dark

Drowning in this binding light
Can you feel our bones collide
Close your eyes
Can you feel our flames dancing together
Like they did in those golden days?

Not on your life
This love we have I wont give up the fight
In these monuments of my failings
You are the one good thing
I ever did right

Hand on my heart
I know we will go farther
Than what we did before

You're a part of me.

Nationally we rejoice at the drop of the sun,
Sending explosives that dazzle the skies in parotic hues,
Silenced are the fears of the weary who cower in the corners of oppression and differential treatment,
Misjudged are the BIPOC who do not mirror the sentiments of the majority,
Forgotten are the fallen who lie in unmarked tombless foregrounds, Be cautious of the realities faced by the neighbors hidden in solitude, Be mindful of the friends who decide to stay indoors,
Be compassionate for our nation is hurting,
Though mass media may have muffled their cries,
Their lived experiences echo at an amplitude regarded by the awakened.

I need to feel small to go big
I need to feel little to dig
And sprout roots
To keep me grounded and high
On universal knowledge
From the other side