I'm sorry
That I text you
At four a.m.
When
I
Can't
Breathe
Because of
Anxiety attacks.

I'm sorry that
I can't make serious phone calls
Or order at Subway
Around the corner,
Even though I know
I like thinly sliced turkey
And chipotle dressing.

I'm sorry that
I forget things like
Birthdays and middle names
And I'm sorry
That I don't know how to
Kiss.

I'm sorry
That you think
When I don't take a compliment
I'm fishing for you
To keep going,
Because in my rotting skull
That option
Isn't even possible.

I'm sorry.
So sorry.
That if you're
Nice to me
I will never
Ever
Believe you
Actually like me.

You deserve to be happy
You deserve that smile on your face
That smile that we don't get to see often
You deserve to get what you want,
what you desire

Don't apologize for what's in your heart
Don't apologize for what you want
Don't apologize for who you are

Have fun
Smile
Laugh
Love
Live
Fly

Oh dear self
You deserve it all
So take it
Without feeling sorry
Without feeling guilty
Just take it all
and be
*happy

I apologize
You were a decimated book
That I promised to renew
But as I kissed your lips
And caressed your face
In the most gentle way I could
More pages were torn and shredded

I apologize
You were the pouring rain
And I loved feeling raindrops
On my skin
But as you shower me
With your words, emotions, fears
I seek for shelter in haste

I apologize
You were a neglected garden
I strayed from my home's path
And I saw you
I told you I would be back
Help you regain your life
But I forgot where you are

I apologize
You were the twinkling stars
Even your slightest smile
Illuminated the black sky
But my eyes were transfixed
On the cracks of my ceiling
I can't look at you anymore

I apologize
You were both gems and pearls
My filthy, rough hands
Have dared to touch you, love you
I said I will take care of you
But old habits die hard
I keep breaking you

at least
in the end,
you were polite
about it.*

your hand
rests gently
on the back of my neck,
nails rough and worn
as you trace your way
down the length of my spine,
turning each ****
with a definite crack and caress
until you reach the curves
of my hips
and dig in.
sorry. *i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
i'm sorry. *
my name, something other
than a curse, the words
just hovering
between the space of your lips
as one of us, i'm not sure who,
starts to cry.
we are left with
your hand on my heart,
knife on my gullet,
lips pressed softly to my cheek
in prayer
as you apologize once more,
and the moment
where everything pauses

and i brace myself
for the impact.

When an argument may occur
& things get heated
Feelings & emotions stir
An apology is needed
Since a friendship could be broken
From your heart be sincere
It's not just words spoken
& don't just tell them what they want to hear
Really mean what you say
You'll be glad in the end
There's no other way
& your friendship will begin to mend

I know an apology is hard to tell
NO ONE likes to be wrong
& control yourself, don't yell
Another fight may arise & go on for WAAAAY too long
A simple "I'm sorry" isn't hard to admit
Be responsible for your actions
& apologize for your ****!!
For more positive reactions!!

I need to stop apologizing
For things that you did

You were just one grade above me in high school.
You graduated last year.
You made big plans for your life and your future...
... But then the fateful day came fast.
The accident could not be stopped
And no one is to be blamed.

I went to your wake today.
I saw your mom, dad, brothers and sisters.
But who I remember most is your beautiful girlfriend.
You loved her to the ends of the earth,
but you left her behind.

I barley knew you, or ever talk to you
but what I do know is that
No mother should ever have to bury her own son,
It broke my heart seeing all the people you left behind.

As I walked past to view your body one last time,
I prayed
"God, I pray [His name goes here,
but I think it is most respectful not to say his name]
is safe in Heaven with you. I pray for his family. I pray that they are safe and will find hope and have faith in this time of greif"

I hugged your mom, dad, sisters, and brothers,
and your girlfriend
and told them how sorry I was..
.. but no words of mine can bring you back.
Nothing I can say or do can bring you back to us.

Life is short.
At the age of 19, you left us.

Nobody knows when their last day on Earth is,
So all I ask of whoever is reading this is,
To live life to the fullest and do not regret anything.

If tomorrow never comes,
Tell your loved ones that you love them
Apologize
Say "Thank you"
Take risks
Love life
Love your family and friends
and
Forgive your enemies