Gods I’m so tired of this..
I never got closure so how do people expect me to get past it..
Gods I just want it to stop because I’m sooo broken over this..
Gods are you even listening?
Can’t one of you make this stop happening?

Anyone with a stroke of luck
can be a king or queen on earth!
Why there can’t be a lucky paradise?

I tried talking online,
I tried breaking my spine,
I tried eating like a swine,
I tried waiting for a sign,
I just want you to be mine.

I tried finding a girl,
I tried jumping in life's swirl,
I jump further the more I sink,
I feel scared but don't even blink,
I like milky skin, with accents of pink,
I tried connecting but can't find a link.

I know what I want but I probably don't,
I think I'm sick but can't find an antidote,
I wanna jump in front of a car on a busy road,
I should but right now I'm tasting some self-loathe.

Besides, I'm writing this,
You should be here, you don't know what I miss,
The last one, to end the night,
Please stay with me, for I feel so much fright,
And I feel like I'm blessed with blight,
Yes you, you wonderful reader,
You probably are, also a bleeder.

Please love me.

In the process of shielding
My heart
I broke it
Thousand more time
Before anyone could ever do