When I’m full of anxiety,
and can no longer sit still.
When I feel the need to flee,
because reality becomes too real.
I’m not that way everyday,
but the days that I am,
I feel myself start to fray
like no one can understand.
I may not be or act the way
that some might think I should,
but almost every day,
I just feel misunderstood,
I can’t help my own mind;
it darkens and it races.
Sometimes this head isn't kind;
it's not something one embraces.
I just want to find someone;
someone who will understand;
make me not want to run
but stay hand in hand.
Love me for my imperfect ways,
and be my voice of clarity.
And for the rest of my days
please just set me free.
Love me when I don’t love myself,
and help me grow and blossom.
Help me become like yourself,
a shining beacon, the sweetest plum.
I just need
someone who’ll understand.

Scream and shout, kick the ground, fall apart crying
I hate the world, it isn't fair, hold my heart from breaking
My life stretches way too far into a fog I can't see through
No one's fault you don't understand but you don't have a clue
Stop thinking stop thinking my mind keeps on racing
Not words it's all emotions like I just can't stop feeling
Endless accusations left unformed drive me insane
I'll be alright but this moment now all I think about is pain

i will stay silent
i will bore you
i am an island
you are not included
     (yet)

i've told you more than i've ever told others
i want to say more, but i don't want to smother
i don't want to say too much
i don't want to be left with regret
but i don't want us to lose touch
i just don't know how to connect

I pulled at the roots
but he didn’t budge
so I left him in the ground
and I sat and thought
“maybe he’s not ready”

Have you ever watched the stars fall from your eyes?
Not many have, it’s a terror that masks itself as blue
Once the stars fall they reveal the darkness beneath
The absolute
That’s what I call it, it’s an immenant force awoken by madness
It exhumes itself from a dusted space and collects the spare thoughts
It feeds on my lungs, it rips pieces of my soul
Dragging them down to the plunging tides to be washed and preserved into a formulation of unbridled torment
I have not the slightest to why my heart beats in two awful tones
Maybe it’s the excitement, maybe the moans
I need not worry for breath falls short
I always reconcile back to the night it made itself known
A dwelling creature beneath my stomach
Risen from the ashes and buried in self pity
The sad clown of desire without as much as a tear I stood there petrifical in glances
Watching the bottom of the glass come closer, it snuck up on me as it’s fragments plunged into my chest and brought with it the terror
Frozen in silence I heard only the wails of my lungs

Today, I’m tired.
Work was dreadful.
Now I am home, it's almost comforting.
Yet, my body is in pain.
Other days, I feel awake.
Alert.
Even beautiful.
But today, I’m tired.

My eye won’t stop twitching
And I’m not sure if that is from the strain on my eyes
Or on my mind

I convince myself they are one and the same,
Everything is connected,
Like my whole body can be effected,
By a simple thought in my brain.

I try to look away,
Spare myself the rejection,
Limit the affection,
And ignore my own reflection.

But now some time has passed by,
And my eye has ceased its beating,
Like it’s  purpose has lost its meaning,
After the rhythm it’s been repeating.

An eye for an eye,
My eye like my heart,
Although I’m smart,
No one can stop me,
from tearing myself apart.

One life
One promise
One relapse
One mistake
One death
Two cold hands
Two empty eyes
Two lost souls
Too little, too late.