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One day
Some day
Probably soon
I'll be nothing
Dust on the moon

Never could be solid
Never could be whole
Never found a way
To fit into the mold

Bleeding through the pages
Crossing all the lines
Aching in my soul
Pretending I'm just fine

This ache is such a feeling
A hard one to forget
I've never been without it
Yet I never do regret

Some souls can do wonders
And others are so wise
Some of us are filler
Background till our bland demise

Not quite meant for great things
Just put out here to live
I wanted to be special
My expectations I must forgive

I can't live up to her
Never will live up to him
Living up to myself?
A barren truth discovered on a whim

So hush now, do be quiet
It's so loud in my mind
I'm so sick of noise
Leaving thoughts of grandeur behind

Staring at a wall
No time to even blink
Living a life mentally
Reality making me sink

Such a twisted sickness
Being great in your head
Wasting all your hours
Decaying in your bed

Feet that once danced so
Unashamed through city lights
Lips made for conversations
Slowly stitched shut for the last time

A heart made for adventure
A soul yearning for great love
Bones that take you nowhere
And fears of all the above

Whispering so loudly
Yet speaking so **** low
"She never did make sense,
Never knew quite where to go"

A recipe for disaster
Chaos by her hand made
Falling slowly then faster
Replacing parachutes with grenades

"You made your bed now sleep in it"
Is what they like to say
But I never made my bed
Yet here I am destined to lay

So tomorrow I will fix it
A new lovely day for change
A promise never kept though
Being true to myself is strange

You'd think it would be freeing
To live right here, right now
But possibilities are endless
I'm overwhelmed- I must lie down

But now please don’t do that
My nervous system shouts at me
You'll never overcome fear
Hiding from the world in sheets
The push and pull of anxious mind
im trying so hard
not to hurt you
or burden you.

i don't want to cause you
unessacary stress
or extra anxiety
worrying about me --
and if im okay.

when im not.

but i say i am
just because
trying so hard
not to be
a
burden.
date wrote: 1/9
heavily inspired by trying so hard by lucy gray :p i love her sm
Mental health problems
Wish I had wealth problems
“Money can’t buy happiness”
But it’ll help solve them
I’ve got ninety-nine problems
And my mind’s the worst of ‘em

I’m on a knife’s edge
Staring at life’s edge
I need a side quest
Something to help me digest
And escape this mess
Life’s a cryptic crossword
And I don’t know what’s next

Mental health matters
My mental health’s in tatters
Mind’s beyond shattered
Thoughts are ******* scattered

They call it anxiety
Quite the complexity
Downplayed in society
No one likes variety

Everyday should be a breeze
I’m the only one I can’t please
My mind’s stuck on static
And it feels like I can’t breathe

Can’t escape the insomnia
Full-on paranoia
I miss the days of euphoria
Instead it’s mostly disturbia

I can’t look on the bright side
I can’t escape my mind’s eye
I wake up and want to cry
Forever trapped
In the lows and highs

Mental health problems
Wish I had wealth problems
“Money can’t buy happiness”
But it’ll help solve them
I’ve got ninety-nine problems
And my mind’s the worst of ‘em
What else could we do but pray to God?
How could I explain them the shivers that i fought?

Time and tide wait for none,
A truth so cruel,built with fun

What else could we do but accept our fate?
Will we be able to look back , when we, are finally late?

Slowly floating towards boundless, a place so dark
I wish i could end the act, without leaving behind a mark

A small little flower,that was bloomed, in an unknown place
Stared all day, towards the vast sky, for just a little trace

Staring towards the endless horizon , as if there was any life
Maybe it was waiting to shine like a meteorite

A universe so vast, countless galaxies,
Yet it thought, it was big , like an algea under the seas

Suddenly, the sky, began to shatter
The flower wished, if it could finish the letter

The eyes, began to open ,slowly with pains
A little boy found himself,  in a garden of gains

A little flower bloomed , just beside a drain
He saw it and thought he finally could, leave the train..
Run…

Run to the edge of your pain and when you get there,
heart pounding,
thoughts racing
and your world in pieces.

Jump…

In faith, yes jump.
Everything behind you,
nothing beneath you,
feel the air move around you.
Let your mind go silent
and the beat of your heart less turbulent.
Then in a place where nothing exists,
not your ego, not your demons.
Accept death, be ok with loss,
with not existing and when the thought of your brains lying scattered all over unknown grounds gives you anxiety no more,

Soar…

Soar in your nakedness,
your weightlessness
and realise that everything is temporary.
Your suffering.
Your happiness.
All belongs to an insignificant fraction of time and that it is the accumulated fractions of these experiences that will bear weight and witness to a life lived through lessons and through this understanding you will realise that the most important thing you will ever need to do to get through it all is the simplest.

Breathe…'
Getting lost in your head can be the most crippling experience anyone can ever experience.
Four thin walls
Closing me in
Screams in the halls
Repent for my sins

Four blocks to run
My steps are heavy
Away from the gun
How I envy

Four breaths in
In the nearby office
No one will win
in America's sickness
I wrote this after having multiple panic attacks over being in enclosed spaces after Speech & Debate nats 2025.
the thoughts
they just keep on racing,
like they're all competing --
winner gets the reward of
tears flowing.
emotions non-stop.
no runner ups.

and they wont stop.
why wont they stop?
date wrote: 27/8
A furious wave of fear
pounds against
the inside of my gut.
Why do I worry so much?
I have tried avoiding
the voided tunnels,
the ones that call
in the pit of my stomach.
Should I run away
from the maze of memories
or should I march right in?
I'm afraid that it will wash me away.
The void will evaporate my identity.
Am I as fragile as I feel?
No.
I don't believe so.
The car engine light is on
I sigh… I know what’s wrong,
The exact part that needs replacing
But the same problems, I keep facing

“Don’t make ‘em like they used to”
I sigh… I know what’s wrong
It’s me, the expert who knows nothing
To the world, I’m really bluffing

You see, the engine is my brain
And I’m slowly going quite insane
I’m just trying to explain
I’m not doing well

The fuel light blinks on
I… sigh. I know what’s wrong
I’m grasping for fuel
How I treat her frame is cruel

You see, that hunk-a-junk is me
I’m not kind to my body
It’s just my anxiety
I’m not doing well

So I cope, I smoke
I always feel like I’m alone
I don’t want to take this road
So, I turn off the key

The car door alarm is on
I sigh.. I know what’s wrong
The path might not be clear
But I’m walking from here
This is a poem about being in your head too much while you’re driving.
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