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Sharks have to move to breathe
Sometimes I feel as though I am the same
If I stop moving I will suffocate
Relaxation feels like a pillow smothering my face

If I stop running they will catch me
All the pain I’ve spilt
My shame
My guilt

All combined into a lurking monster
Chasing me through the forest
I want to pause
But I can feel the monsters claws

My lungs start to ache
The tears stream down my face
I cannot brake
I cannot lose this race
Indra L 4d
Fear teaches me, sort of aimlessly.

Blaming a resilience I wish I'd seen,
The punch I wish I’d been -
A prey I wished I'd hit.

Overshadowing the dopamine I’d like to feel.

Via guilt-induced tears, effortfully shield-building.
Via timeless dampening -
I’m nervously standing, brainlessly censoring.

But never has anger crossed that brain,
Never have I ever played this game.
Device
Scrolling
Screen
Underground
WiFi
Online
Last seen
Swiping
Typing
FaceTiming
Social
Apps
Anxiety
Notifications
Ghosted
Crisis
5G
Loading
Roaming  
Signal
Lost
What’s up
What’s down
WhatsApp
Connection
Connecting
Content
Addicted
Feed
Endless
Doomscrolling
Emptiness
Algorithm
Is
Relentless
Fake
News
Bots
Deepfake
AI
*****
Text back
Mate
Updates
Stories
Likes
Shares
DM
Sliding
Aubergine
Pears
Triggered
Trolls
Separation
Right
Left
Manipulation
Cookies
Cache
Crumble
Realisation
Screen time
6 and half hours
**** me
What a life
I wasn’t brave.
Don’t let them say that.
I was just tired
in a way no one could see.
Tired like my bones were made of grief.
Tired like I’d been screaming underwater for years.

It wasn’t about dying.
It was about ending.
Ending the weight,
the buzzing silence,
the way I could still be in a room
and still not exist.

I went to the roof.
You know the one.
Above the library.
It was cloudy
the kind of sky that doesn’t look down on you,
just swallows you whole.

I didn’t cry.
There were no shaking hands,
no last minute second guesses.
Just this strange calm
that felt like finally breathing
after holding it for too long.

I stepped.
And for a second
I swear
I felt free.
Then everything went black.
17:31pm / Let down by Radiohead was playing
I apologize too much.
I never think I do enough.
I always go beyond and above,
Still I’m too fragile to be loved.

I’m so scared of the truth,
Yet nothing else will ever do.
Happiness has been the goal,
But I fear forever feeling hollow.

You and I deserve the best of me.
But who am I—why can't I see?

I don't know how to say no.
People say, "stop," I still go.
Always there, always giving—
Yet alone when I need forgiving.

I'd climb a mountain, cross a sea.
I'd burn myself out just to meet a need.
But I've already lowered the bar—
It drags behind me like a scar.

The world is loud. The vision’s getting hazy.
Please help me now... I feel crazy.

So many faces—
Which is mine?
Each stitched with guilt,
A need to stay in line.

What if saying "no" could feel like peace?
What if I took a space just to breathe?
Would you hold me when I come undone?
Remind me I don't always have to run?

I'm worn, but still reaching.
I'm bruised, but still believing.
I don't need much, just to be seen—
Not as a mirror,
But a human being.
She sits with her silence,
Bound by her thoughts.
Life continues anyway,
But join in, she does not.

Though she would like to,
It takes time to decide,
And once she gets ready,
There’s no room in the ride.

So maybe she’ll start walking,
Or she’ll stay frozen in fear.
She wants to go somewhere else,
But she seems to be stuck here.

She’s found a doorway
Just a handful of times,
But every time she moves closer,
Further away it flies.

There must be a lesson
In this self-aware prison,
A continuous torturous cycle
From which she hasn’t risen.

Swirling and thrashing
In circular motions,
Part of her must like
Being breathless in the ocean.

Yet there’s a small part
On the left side of her brain
That hates this **** cycle,
The suffocation insane.

But she doesn’t control movement
And barely steers thoughts,
So here she goes again,
Busting down doors that should remain locked.

She’s scared to read new stories
With endings untold,
When all familiar tales
End predictably bitter and cold.

There’s bite to the freeze, though,
And pleasure in pain.
Echoes fill her mind’s chamber:
“Free us from these chains.”

No, she doesn’t need saving,
She’s working out the clues.
You say she’s isolating,
But it’s what she has to do.

So very easily distracted,
Hypnotized by honeyed words,
She falls in love so quickly,
Abandoning her puzzled curse.

And when it surely fizzles out,
She’s back here at square one,
A couple days of crashing out,
Erasing all the work she’s done.
Twenty seven years of this and it's surely lost it's fun
Lee 2d
I cut it because,
I know that I I don’t.
A cold swollen body,
Won’t always float.
Saltwater’s more harsh,
It stings in my throat.
Traversing the seas
In a decommissioned boat

They say when the lungs,
Swallow it in,
You're taken over by calm,
Three scars on your shin.
eliana 2d
my stomach,
it twists and it turns.
Should I go or should I stay?
These thoughts surround my head,
Scared of what lies ahead.
What could go wrong?
I'm not sure that I belong.
Oh silly me, just be free!
For this is your only chance to feel alive again.
Ive been really nervous as im supposed to be going out in just a few hours and my anxiety is off the charts lol but, I feel happy and face my fears i guess. Who knew social anxiety was so scary in the moment!!
You were there when no one else was
So I shall return
To my first love
Who loved me
Before I took my first breath.
Returning to Jesus after years of depression.
Laura 3d
I'm sitting in
My slice of the world
Writing ****** love poems
Waiting for you
To text me back
But my anxiety
Tells me you never will
I write ****** love poems
Filled with the things
I want to say to you
But I'm too afraid
To say them
Because what if
You don't feel
The same way?
What if
You find
Someone else?
What if
I'm just
A placeholder?
Until you find
What you're actually
Looking for
Meanwhile I'm
Just sitting here
In my slice of the world
Writing ****** love poems
Hoping
You'll ****** text me back
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