You won't believe this, rightfully so, you'll think it’s not true
but a person will do anything, when he starts losing his *****
I didn't feel that any one loved me, so I devised one day
to test out my theory, in the most bizarre type of way

I found a way after considerable thought, to put myself on display
and to be able to stay inconspicuous, from a secure distance away
I watched them attend my eulogy, peculiar as it may sound
enjoying the reception, it was nothing short of spellbound

Who could think, a person as crazy as I might be
going to such extremes, who would ever foresee
to accomplish this great task, of convincing my heart
someone would somehow care, if I really did depart

In the back of the room, with shades covering my eyes
sinking into a chair, surrounded by this chorus of cries
who would ever suspect, that this stranger sitting in the back
was really not far away, from being deemed a quack

When my funeral was about over, I watched those flowers start to bend
they too seemed to be saying, haven't you yet been able to mend
so I pushed myself up front, in order to get a better look
this deaths looks too real, what if I really did pass over that final brook

As I approached my casket, overtaken by this powerful desire
could this really be happening, shaking with a cold perspire
to escape from this nightmare, there was but one thing to do
hastening to relieve myself, running from bed to bathroom, I flew

The lesson here to be learned, after thinking about it, was simple and clear
we often have these fears, and yet are not always aware
what’s important for us, is to truly recognize in ourselves, which is the key
understanding our need to feel loved, and the absurd lengths we go, in order to see

A day started out, it really looked bright
no one could recognize just what was in site
how was I to know, the heavens were about to flow
soon I would be escorted, to that place we all must go

When those angels came for me, I was ill prepared
didn’t pack any clothes, wouldn’t need anything to wear
yet I knew that it had to be good, whatever would be
because G-d is calling the shots, to this we all do see

Lost opportunities to reflect on life, and all that my body once did yearn
how it has now been reduced, to little more than food for the worm
stoic indeed was I now, since during my life I maintained my belief
preparing my soul for this journey, so that I could now expect relief

I knew, therefore, when I was young awaiting me was this court case
even though it was much in the future, eventually, it I would have to face
so I made sure to invest the time, helping both friends and strangers in need
for I knew the secret, heaven would certainly treat me likewise, indeed

Measure for measure does our Creator deal with us, for this is part of his design
not always perceivable to man, because it emanates from the realm of the divine
ultimately making known his true righteousness in judgement, for all to see
A day of judgement truly awaits, and our very souls will be forced to agree

Only in this world are we constantly challenged, many tests emanate from within
because there has been put inside of us, an evil inclination trying to get us to sin
having made known to us, there is a medicine for our benefit he has deployed
patiently hoping for us to choose wisely, our constant sinning for us to avoid

This medicine is a secret, and is made known to only a select few
and is given over to those, choosing to staying far away from the untrue
I have recognized this fact, a fact that is difficult but does hold true
when you starve your body from sin, merit for your soul do you accrue

After leaving this world, we hope to paradise we all shall surely go
not wanting to contemplate, the existence of that other place down below
the message is a simple one, tailored for all those earnestly wishing to know
do many acts of kindness in this world, and in the next your soul will surely glow

Birds flew stagnant wings did stay there
Course, frozen gazes like medusas stare
As whispers became silent up stared.

Upon did the phoenix burn, and all was
Ash and fire. Screams of unknown were
Swallowed in moments and silence birthed.

Wings did perch to another place, but
Screams did pierce the silence, as this bird
Now illuminated and embers again fell.

An angel fell, so many did, gracing air now
Pain unfelt. Freedoms innocence did crumble
Did fall pillars fragmented downwards.

Day turned in to a perpetual grey night,
All was consumed in the fallen, swallowed
Was all silence, voices, people consumed.

All were the same that moment, what stood
Tall like the  phoenix now ash fell, covered
In what was inanimate, lives severed gone.

A moment Frozen, sealed in memory, in an
Occasion that history will never forget remember
Those gone, as towers and lives descended down.

Eve’s ambient, so
She cries on porcelain floors;
I remain in bliss.

"i stay up all night because i don't have enough pills stashed in my flower pots and behind mirrors and  in my hands to drown out the fire that burns holes in my skull. i stay up all night because the last words you wrote me made me cry searing color out my eyes. i can't see the sky as blue anymore baby. that night i tried to cut my heart out, everything was so red i guess that's the only color i see now. baby i still have the scar, you should see it sometime. that night i stripped my home of the insipid decorations, they were laughing at me. i smashed all the empty bottles around me baby you should've seen it, there was blue and green and silver diamonds everywhere,,like a dream. i stay up at night because when i close my eyes i see you. and your stupid grin you always pull out, like a black ace card. i can't get rid of you,,you're in my head. and your words are stuck relaying in my skull. I CANT GET RID OF YOU. that's why i'm sitting up awake at 4:57 am contemplating whether or not to pull my heart out cause i won't see you in hell,,you've always been the angel baby."

In our Universe,
Far, far away,
Once were aliens,
Or were they angels?
When gods were men,
And men were as gods,
Until the last quark
Fades away, like stars,
Ineffable love,
Perpetual cosmos,
Close but far,
Intangible to feel,
Is invisible real?
Impossible dreams,
We are generations
Too young,
Is the Universe
So very far?

Not enough pain was felt
to cry
so I just sat here alone
with glass eyes
thinking, trying to figure out why
the worlds too cold
for angels to fly

May all who i have lost ride with me
Their hands steady on my shoulder
I ride for them though they not know
that when i ride it isn't for show
I ride for the escape, to flee my chains
To ride the wind and outrun the rain
I ride for being greatful i am still alive
and am saddened for all who never try
And on a sunny day within a mile
i drop a tear or two above a sly smile
To ride is to honor the thrill within
Acknowledge the fear and accepting it in
and if i lay over or my rear stray away
let my allies of angels rite my way