sugar-soaked in sepia
our expressions embellished like squashed liquorice
a sticky tattoo on tattered sleeves
an exhibition of adolescence

smiles that split our faces sore
gnawed lips cracking
to reveal chattered gnashers
stained from library coffee and
polished with bargainbin toothpaste

our salted skin doused in *****
and coke – making the memory oh-so sweeter
surrounded by a band of bar-time brothers
lost in an array of technicolour strobes
oblivious to the incoming traffic
and the carcrash they call adulthood

I remember the melody being played
the regular Wednesday swansong
NOW DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER

I rarely do

the strangeness of seventeen sets in as the seasons start to shift
i am stuck in the surreal stage of dwindling childhood and attempted adulthood
contradicting feelings being meshed into one disconcertingly dysfunctional body
i feel i am incapable of fully indulging in either my youth or my approaching adulthood
i feel i am incapable of being anything at all

the naïveté of nine has faded with the wood of my windowsill and i am no longer so sure of myself
pressures of eighteen loom in my future along with deafening doubts of
both my emotional and literal abilities to provide for myself
every morning i wake up in twisted bedsheets and wonder
whether teenage me is who i always hoped she’d be, or if something went wrong along
the winding road of change and growth and weak attempts to be better

so much i wish to do, so many ghosts of the past i wish to crush
haunted by the gloom i let in at such a young age, it never truly leaves me
i wish i could stop the clock from it’s monotonous tick-tick-ticking
and i wish i could stop the sun from disappearing beyond the foggy horizon
(i have so much to learn before night falls)

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s split this orange in two
Keep your half and don’t share it
Nothing left we want to mix together.
It has always been coming quietly
Probably from the moment we shook hands
The time has now arrived
Even as we try to elongate our texts
Force our voices with concern
Still waiting for the exit

We knew from the second
We walked different paths
That the ground would tremble,
And the cracks rise.
The gap has been widening
As the sun and moon switch places
Even if we ignore it and
Throw a smile across the divide.

The pretense now
Makes my skin crawl
Escape from this strange web
Coating around us is urgent
I know you have your stuff under hands
And want to keep them away from me
Here,
I’ll give it all to you on a gold platter.

But for some reason it won’t cross the table
It’s frozen to the touch,
I cannot get it over.
Unwilling to put down our dignity
Laid on the napkin exposed to the other
Making this process extend
Pulling out without an end

Continuously balancing
The thin string wobbling into the dark
Struggling as I carry memories on my back
Missing pieces increasing its weight
As it slips down I wonder who you are
Grudges I thought buried
Now splitting through the earth

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
The air has grown too toxic to breathe
I can no longer see you through the divide
Let us not even try and leave it at that.
Who will be the one to say it first?
Just look around for an excuse
Drop a bubble of silence
Hoping to set off a bomb of meaning
Nobody has to take responsibility
Let us escape.

Laughs abounding while
We crossed the dark streets
Now mock me
Showing only unknowing youth
There to fill a space where
I now realize you were thin air.
As fleeting as a passing joke
An initiation for the future..
What I thought was so tight
Loosened itself at a touch
And left the past at the back
As we walk through the tunnel.

Time has passed by
And swallowed us whole
Still falling down its’ throat
Passing by brief glimpses of moonlight
It’s dark sides showing up at my face
Always changing paths
I won’t hand you the compass
As I land at on my feet,
I want to enjoy the walk without you
Dusk is setting down on the streets
I see we are on opposite sides
Of the sun glazed windows

No longer able to meet each other’s gaze
Through the bright shine
Shut mouths full of words
That weigh on our tongues
The coat now fits us well,
Straightened out on our shoulders
Should now be able to walk
Pass by each other with a nod

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s buy two different train tickets
We don’t want to join the other
The seat beside me will be reserved.
But nothing is going past my lips
Let’s hurry up, the bell is ringing
Exchange phrases of good wishes
Both curious of our destinations
We’re adults now
Let’s board and leave

She did not know
if she had been cut from birth
or if they had done it to her
when she was just a child,
barely old enough to remember, shrouded
her in the stinking, clingy breaths of obedience
until she had learned
to succumb to the robotics, to finally
trash her emotions,
crush them to ashes.

Perfection was hard to maintain.

the world is unjust
unready for you, little one.
just hold on
just one moment — wait,
please.

don’t go yet. wait
for me, my legs are slower
than they used to be.
brittle, you know.
you and i are both

getting older.
wait —
don’t go yet. stay
just one moment.
i’m not ready.

remember the melding
of gilmore and bing
the springfield gates
and desmond ring

remember the trojans
and fools in the pack
sea fair jeans
and corkscrew flat

remember the cabin
and *****’s garage
the gary point dunes
and moncton mirage

remember the warehouse
the water logged seats
tin foil caps
and simple retreats

remember the cave
and turn on the cut
emery’s mini
and hamilton’s hut

remember the burger
and shake in the air
bubs in the back
with little despair

remember the valley
and 66 ford
burgundy lips
and samworth’s chord

remember the plainsman
a 7 inch log
the ***** old frenchmen
and bore-*** hog

remember the javelin
and mushay’s wheels
beaumont’s baggie
and jennifer beals

remember tough charlie
tossing brad rand
the belyae roundhouse
and beer in the sand

remember park polo
and scaling of firs
sleeping in rafters
at 8 bucks per

remember the mayflower
and brothers von grant
the max air follies
and chivalrous rant

remember the flipper
the floyd and the clap
banana boat sunday
and pemberton trap

remember the purples
the rasp in the street
the oliver jokers
and shady retreat

remember the gators
and brick house café
a flash in the pan
and crib cult stay

remember the church
and talbs on the bridge
goofy’s memoirs
and cypress ridge

remember smaldino
whom perry cut short
***** and a ****
and moria’s port

remember the zuker
and gilligan’s isle
the pep chew bust
and 8 tooth smile

remember the action
at blundell and one
the nauseous fumes
and pump house run

remember the canyon
and rock on the cliff
a tourniquet bind
that kept us adrift

remember lake skaha
and jvc tunes
the j bain query
and peach fest goons

remember the irons
and broad entry beads
the alexander boys
we must pay heed

remember the gates
the 12 hole stare
the hospital bed
and ky affair

remember the farmhouse
an open air deck
the john deere tractor
and cowboy neck

remember the wheat field
and jimmy crack corn
the burlington plaza
and fraser street ****

remember the pincers
and wee ***** white
the concubine fractures
and strong overbite

remember the carving
portrayed at the scene
the billy goat battles
a young man’s dream

remember lord brezhnev
and moby the ****
the second beach sun
and paper bag trick

remember the screening
the silver light show
banshee boots
and phipps’s throw

remember the epic
and baby oil block
trash can brassieres
and window rock

remember the law
jack rabbit in may
an 8 track mix
on alpine way

remember the dunes
a pig on the spit
the underarm hair
and corn bull-****

remember old frankie
and bursey head post
the koa leaves
and tiki shore host

remember b taupin
the lyrics he left
cold muddy waters
an odd treble clef

remember street regent
the trips in the night
the trailer park cap
and lightheart fight

remember kits causeway
mortimer and beaks
jk's cabin
and muscle bound freaks

remember glen cheesy
and billy the less
the frozen puke patties
and borkum mess

remember the catfish
and pickerel rock
the emerald meadows
and rainbow dock

remember port dover
with fish on a stick
wayne in a bunker
holding his ****

remember the ironside
limes in a tree
the usc campus
came with a fee

remember the duster
an arrow in heart
the frog man bug
that would not start

remember the zimmer
the ram air hood
a family wagon
with panels of wood

remember peace portal
the 33 back
the power built drive
and dangerous tack

remember the reds
the blues and the greens
the furry point island
and country book scene

remember the springs
and i 95
a lone state trooper
with blood in his eye

remember may’s cabin
and stuff in between
the frame and the picture
and morning snow scene

remember the boss
with a 302 scoop
the diamond tuft console
and back seat coupe

remember ioco
the **** and the spit
the skid road race
and hurst floor kit

remember the shore
and tents in the park
a campfire roast
and kerosene bark

remember the hooger’s
kit kat club
the colvin’s and setter’s
a man called bub

remember the creature
with silk strand hair
and afternoon flask
with little despair

remember quilchena
and robbie the mac
the rice stead box
and tap on the back

remember miss williams
a pilgrim’s salute
the fairmont sister
with all of her loot

remember port ludlow
a scotman on dock
the everett street bridge
and single leg sock

remember the masters
and all of the roar
the faldo follies
at norman’s door

remember jeff samson
tied in a tree
the robertson fastback
with white leather seats

remember the balance
and pulling of 4's
the moncton warehouse
and hollywood ******

remember the hospice
with carter in wear
the power of gospel
and magic in prayer

remember the mini
counting the crows
aberdeen villa
where all of it grows

remember the ballroom
the battle of bands
the buccaneer bikers
and front row stands

remember the steely
and 50 odd pulls
the crook in the cranny
and pilsner bulls

remember the mustang
tb paul
the ****** shack sergeant
was missing a ball

remember dear kevin
head first in the pool
a sheik in a minefield
and ****** gas fool

remember the rumble
and bats in the night
an old lady screaming
to a young man’s delight

remember cliff olsen
that sick little ****
who will be in shackles
on lucifer’s truck

remember the bumpers
and cutting in line
the mice on the ****
and bo in the pine

remember the law
stabbing the corn
a bucket of ammo
and mekong horn

remember s boras
the piercing of yes
the color line paper
sikosie at rest

remember the pinto
and seven road plants
mother’s fine pizza
a trial lawyer’s rant

remember the kennedys
with ***** painted black
a pond in the shadows
where monty looked back

remember von husen
the sea to sky test
a farm hands daughter
was one of the best

remember mr pither
and mao sae tung
helena the cougar
and egg foo young

remember the cinder
and frances road bake
***** the whitehead
would make no mistake

remember the quan
and mental mix
the java hut sister
with pixy sticks

remember j rosie
banging his head
in a moment of dr
we thought he was dead

remember the hammer
discussions caught short
siddrich and roger
and monty’s abort

remember 6 nations
and KOA
the pool hall fight
when everyone stayed

remember the skinners
and tommy the med
the lost tough china
and bubs in the shed

remember the doobies
zeppelin and cars
floyd and the *****
and shankar’s sitar

remember old dustys
the blue and red chair
the cypress hill caves
and mullet cut hair

remember the promise
and vows that we made
on the 2 road stairs
in goodman’s brigade

remember those moments
and handle with care
for the garamond stamp
will always be there…

This isn't what he imagined,
The sky was supposed to be blue.
And his friends were sure to stick
With him and walk with him right on through.

Yet there he was left standing,
Left alone to find his way.
"Once you cross the bridge,
You'll never return!"
Mother would always say.

His finger bleeds from the roses,
The road covered in
Needles and thorns.
Why didn't his friends greet him
As much as they did before?

He meant to have so much joy
On the other side of the bridge.
But now he must venture
Through the trees
And find how he must live.

One day I'll be old
and nowhere near as bold
one day you'll be gritty
and nowhere near as pretty

I'll reminisce of my youth
full of ***** and words uncouth
and you'll be there, twenty and one
waiting to show me all that we've done

to sway me with your lips
and kiss me with your hips
to ****** me with your hair
and reduce me with your stare

to call me ugly, disgusting and dumb
and close your mouth, at the brush of my thumb
to get *******, every few hours
and let it all go, when the bed is ours

and you'll visit too, from time to time
whenever in need, of a flattering rhyme
to call me all day, for various reasons
all wet or sweat, depends on the season

I'll bye you too soon, but come after dusk
I'll speak without thinking, but do what I must
I'll avoid talking, when the subject's too steep
I'll write you a poem, when you are asleep

and I'll never know, if these words found a home
but they're sure to follow, wherever you roam
they're yours to keep, or throw in the trash
but they were mine to admit, like blood from a ****

if they grow up with you, they'll stay on your face
cheering you onward, til the end of your race
they'll shine in your eyes, for they never age
and applaud every smile, at the front of your stage

no matter who's first, to cross the last line
they'll freeze with fear, of leaving pieces behind
in the sky of the second, a star will be fading
and either will know, that the other is waiting.