hey hey

I tried to write a song about you today
It wasn't very good so I threw it away
The words were scrambled they had no rhythm
There really was nothing I could do

I was going to say I loved you
Then I second guessed myself
My eyes opened and I realized what was broken
I've be questioning my brain ever since

Chorus:
But it's alright, hip hip hooray,
I have finally seized the day,
Who cares if I throw it all a way,
One more Song
One more Kiss
What the hell is there to miss
These are the last words I can give

What really happened in your mind
That made us broken, with no rewind
You're stuck in the past,and I'm in the future
I begin to wonder who is the loser

No it's not fair, things never are
I pick up drugs over the bar
They promise me you'll disappear
With one more drink of everclear

(chorus)

We are all falling, down an empty hole

(r)No more goodbyes this is the last one
The next time we meet I'll already be gone
Under the sheets so white and brown
Here is my blood that's staining the ground

...

One last song, one last kiss
I know I'll be missed
(r)

I need a break
Something that will take my mind

i mean to say rip my brain right out my head
sorry to graphic even for my taste

It's easy to see that I ask for your ears
But I mumble these sorry words

I will fall silent almost like a falling tree
But I am only trying to forget your feeling

upon my return is closer to being irrelevant
When I would rather not live in memory

I copy my actions from those who taught me it
The tells will be as plain as day, distant

I have made my decision
But I am lost in my thoughts

So my cure is planned,
And events will take there course

It was fun
Really it was the best

All year long I've been treading water.
I've got lost at sea
And storms took me by surprise here and there.
I've drowned more than once,
But now I am riding,
As what seems to be,
An endless wave.

What is it I have to do to walk outside to feel safe again?

When is it a good time for me to get in the car and drive to work?

What should I say when I buy food from the grocery store?

Are my actions  when checking for my wallet, keys, cell-phone, going to **** me?

How should I act around other people?

Am I to act myself when around a gun?

What level of violence is okay for me to act upon.

What stereotypes should I follow so not to feel hated?

What kind of video will prove I've done nothing wrong?

How nice should I be to others?

Should I question the influence of others?

I don't know... I walk outside almost every day expecting the worst, when I hop in my car I fear every person on the road myself included. I partake  in simple actions in public fearing the scrutiny of offending others. My keys are in my left pocket, phone is in the right, and wallet in the back, I think everyone should know that I have nothing else in my pockets. I am told to be myself. I am told to be more white. I will protect my life and loved ones. I know I can jump higher than others because I practiced. There are eyes almost everywhere yet they see absolutely nothing. It's not a scale it's a fact... I always make my own decisions.

If I am wrong it's alright I forgive myself. *I never expected to be right.

Freedom is a word
that makes you think
of the past,
where freedom was trying to be a word,
that everybody needed,
that everybody wanted,
but did we get it?
NO!
We had to struggle and fight for it.
With all that work,
we didnt get much.
All we got was:
"Freedom is the state of being free."
Well its better than nothing,
atleast we got something.
Freedom is the state of being free,
freedom is to be free,
freedom is to fight for things that are not free.
Freedom is the state of being free,
freedom is the state of being free...
Its not much,
but its something

I Coined A Note It Said Today Is Seized,
Sip the dream that says please trust this lie,
Upon Thought given Where we look there will be,
A drink on belief crazy enough to his broken,
Frozen in lust tragically unspoken rules teach blown glass,
Ocean deep fulfilling and blessing cause open three mouths,
Tasting breaths quotes understandingly come easy thieves trust cursing,
Dreams of breaking end from souls that color eyes,
freed dark silence I sin cheat think softer images,
By hearts kissing plead courage tempting they're curiously searched,
love, beating, hands, forgive, pride, ears, thrilling, blue, found.

Ebola has my name on it, the Doctor
Who came back with Ebola
In New York, yes you heard me right
His name is Mr. Spencer, I’m a

Spencer, he rode the subway in the dark
And he went bowling a week after
He came back, and he only went
To the hospital very sick

This is dementia of the public system
And the main stream media
Is being blacked out by the Czar
Appointed by Obama, he’s a lawyer by trade

Are you surprised that Ebola
Can hitch a ride with a Doctor without borders?
There are no borders for a pandemic
It increases exponentially

And peaks sometime in 2017
I’m sorry to be the first to break
The News, but Ebola is running wild
Somewhere in New York, somewhere near you

There could be a city that has it already
And do you think the media would let you know?

A twisting and twirling body of words,
It hangs out against the arms like the moon lit light
Casting the shadows of a lost and broken dream
Tapping the head and forming the jaw
The fires kiss the withering blade to life
Enriched by the life of a crazy decision,
Struggling to climb it's conscious roots,
Only to have wings form out of the scars,
Cheated by a fate of lust and celebrants,
Screaming at a insomniac mind,
Pleading to make it's reason one of logic and focus,
However lost it is to the dreams given by the hands it has felt,
Curious the traveling becomes from our mouths, the words we speak,
Fly on and distance point A to point B
For the simple line must be drawn to connect them once again.

there are still all these insects
so we know
we have life support

we have a lamp in a window
seen through the trees
sung to by all these insects of the night

Some preservation of life
is implied in the meaning
of living yourself

In a long strand, multiplying
competing and eating
in a kind of unconscious sharing

The rest of the world runs along your side
with sweet little feet, these tiny ones
descended from dragons,
splitered to bits by their own breath

In the end, the largest creatures give the most when they die,
but they seek to take forever,
they seek to keep taking,
but must, one day,
give back.