Still waiting for the message that says we're okay,
But things in life don't tend to happen my way.

How can I break free when loving you is weighing me down,
I'm so caught up in trying to fly and don't realize I'm still on the ground.

I'm typical and predictable and I never learn,
Too afraid to hit the ground so I never go for what I truly yearn.

I'm drowning in the pool of the very tears I have cried,
Not realizing that all I need to do is simply stand to survive.

Was it love or was it hate? either way it doesn't truly matter,
You took a gun and pointed it at my heart and our memories have stained me like blood spatter.

Before you I was a closed off person,
I buried my heart under layers of clothing and it never went on excursion,
But something about you brought me out of my shell,
Yet if you ask me what it is something that I could never tell,

Before you my heart was protected from feeling sadness or rage,
But your love cut me open and ripped my poor heart right out of its protective cage.

All it took for me to fall,
Was the brush of your hand and your smile though small,
How is it so that I could have stepped out line,
Can you explain to me how my heart can be so broken by something that was never mine?

You broke my heart like someone broke yours,
I cracked and crumbled right down to my core,
the arms that once saved me now are my constriction,
and I can't let you go, my beautiful addiction.

Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not adventurous enough, not slutty enough, not conservative enough: not enough.

E-ating away at my soul as I feel you slip through my fingers,
N-ever wanting anyone else to kiss my lips but you've already gone
O-ver you is what I claim but alone at night I'll cry,
U-nder your spell all I can think of is you
G-oing further and further down the spiral that made up our doomed love story,
H-appiness used to just be a feeling independent of you,

But as I try to hold the pieces of the girl you left behind, I see it just wasn't enough
I just wasn't enough.

It is both sad and funny how your heart can break in two,
when you're surrounded by people who claim to care about you.

She was a free spirit

And where the wind went, she did too,
and though she smiled, she was blue,
but she hid it so well that you never knew,

Her eyes didn't sparkle because of light but rather tears,
but you would never hear her voice her fears,
she liked uncontrollable laughter because it'd help her forget,
all of her worries of things she didn't know yet,

She'd find herself thinking of lost places and faces,
that she could only be with if in dreams she went on chases,
there is something to be said about the girl who feels alone,
because she's surrounded by a world that she feels she's outgrown

Break my heart again
this time I dare you,
Shatter my mind and soul
This time I'll be over you.

I feel like screaming.
I want to forget everything.
Forget every moment you made me smile, every hug that made me feel warm, every promise that passed through your lips.
I want to forget how your voice sounds, I want to forget how your eyes squint when you smile, I want to forget the way you used to look at me
I want to forget.
I want to cry until my eyes couldn’t see you if I tried, I want to tell my brain to forget you were ever alive,
They say you don’t know heartbreak until it’s too late, I should’ve known you weren’t a risk to take.
Someone give my heart the memo: love is just a game,
And it always seems to start with your name.
I wonder, if I removed myself from the equation would you be just fine?
I wonder, if I hadn’t opened up to you so much would I have been hurt so deeply this time?
Do I stroke your ego? Is that why you keep me around?
It’s nice to hear pretty things from pretty girls,
But you were just a pretty boy with pretty lies.
One day, one day, one day.
But always chasing tomorrow doesn’t mean you’ll stay.
How could happiness and sadness be so alike?
So this is what madness feels like.

I love unfinished sentences and forgotten laughter,
I love the pauses between words and the conversation that comes after,
Love confessions given only through stolen glances,
And I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in second chances,

I like falling for stars someone has already wished on,
And enjoying fleeting moments until they are gone,
If there is something I am learning in this journey through life,
Is that there are beautiful moments worth living twice.

I wanted to drown out the world with you,
To put you in my ears and turn up the volume until you were all I could hear,
Because even if you only consisted of a few simple chords, your melody was my favorite
It was so unexpected and broken and yet lovely
I could listen to you laugh for hours, I could gaze at you for even longer
There was something in the way you looked at me and when you kissed me we made music,
Tell me how to relive it all again
The moment I met you, the moment our lips first met, the moment I fell in love with you,
But even the most beautiful of songs come to an end,
And I will never understand,
But I never did learn how to read sheet music.

In your eyes I saw a promise that your soul could not keep,
I thought it was a hug until I felt the knife go deep,
I thought you were my air until I realized you were toxic,
But I was already falling and it was too late to stop it

what happens when all the words you try to use,
simply aren't good enough?

It has finally hit me, something finally clicked,
Getting hurt and feeling pain is never something one picks,
There is a line between perseverance and insanity,
Yet letting go is not part of our human anatomy,
We fight, we bleed, and still struggle on,
But unknown to us it's a battle for which we are not armed,
Waking up from this dream now turned nightmare,
Cut the line and breathe in the untainted air,
Turn away from the past and face the sun's rays,
The day you move on my dear is today.

My pride is the one at fault in this situation,
My lips are laced with silence and resigned to damnation,
My heart is angry and beating so loud,
Thought my feet were planted solid but found it was just a cloud,
I'm lost between where I was and where I was going,
Surely the answer to this ignorance lies in just knowing,
But I'm realizing now that this world isn't for the strong,
It's a place for the people who won't admit when they're wrong,
Colossal damnation awaits at the pearly gates,
But the ones not to heaven but rather fancy estates,
I see now I've been searching in all the wrong places,
Looking into mirrors only to find unknown faces.

Funny how you felt the need to cut me to make sure I could bleed,
God how wish I could've seen that you were not what I need,
But your eyes were a poison that seeped beneath my skin,
Killing me slowly not from outwards but within.

And oh the way you made my heart beat fast only quickened the speed of the venom,
It was over before it began and you wiped your hands of me the way mechanics get rid of their oil on denim,
You are proof that this world can change in an instant,
One moment so familiar and now we are just distant.

At first I thought that maybe it was me,
But then I realized that it's in a coward's nature to flee.

Dear heart stay quiet, you know not what you desire,
Your only concern is making yourself feel the fire,
The fire of a passionate infatuation,
It threatens to consume with little deliberation,
Your beating shall continue without him my love,
You should be with someone that does not drag you down but above,
He should cherish your existence and hold you close,
Not arrogant and selfish using you to boast.

There is a reason you do not have eyes to see,
You are meant to feel so excruciatingly deeply,  
I know it is hard to choose to let go,
But trust your brain knows the difference between a friend and foe.

How is it so that my smile can be the answer someone has been looking for,
And the torture someone else has been running from?

When is it that mere infatuation becomes overwhelming damnation,
How can open eyes become so clouded?

Why is that after awhile the pain becomes something beautiful, a daily struggle we gladly bare,
When is it that we choose to sacrifice our happiness for another out of care?

You cannot blame someone for letting you fall when they warned you they wouldn't catch you,
These traps of love are ones we weave but in the end I'd be nothing without you.

My mind fumbles for words to express how I feel,
Every memory of us replaying on repeat on a reel,
From the moment you saw me to when our lips meet under stars,
Until you closed yourself from me and locked your heart behind bars,
I've never known how it felt to have a gaze once so warm,
Turn into a stranger who's words would harm,
I'm not sure what triggered the dark change,
But you became the kind of poetry in my heart will rage.

"He doesn't deserve you" she whispered to herself, but her emotions betrayed her soul,
She looked and felt older, her heart slightly colder, because loving him had taken it's toll,
It was a one-way street in which to him she gave it her very all,
but he was never there, he never cared, he didn't even try to prevent her fall,
She made excuses for everything wrong and told herself he could find redemption,
it seemed as if with him, her perfect sin, she could always make an exception,
He made her feel as if she was hard to love, and she would always wonder what was wrong,
She would lie awake at night and wonder why with him she couldn't be strong,
There came a moment when it all made sense, she knew what she had to do,
He wasn't worth it, and he never could be, because you can't love someone who doesn't love you.

So tired of losing, so tired of bruising more quickly than a fallen Apple,
So tired of grasping onto your words the way saddened people do in a chapel,
How is it that you cut something off that is causing you pain inside,
When I can't speak and instead am doomed to emotions that I must hide,
I'm lost not found amongst your embrace, it is a deep abyss by which I am chained,
There is no bottom and I'm falling faster, there is no hope to be gained,
You were broken and then mended just like a mosaic, a compilation of every emotion,
But your edges are rough and have yet to be smoothed like the pieces of glass that become reborn in the ocean,
You've punctured my heart and now here I lay on the floor solely gasping for breath,
You didn't just take my breath away, you took everything that I had left.

For now as you kiss me,
I know that you'll miss me.
Even if you say you can go everyday,
Without my prescence and love as you lay,
My lips will always ache for your touch,
But that doesn't compare to how deeply my mind and soul miss you so much.