If I call, will you decline it?
If I text, will you read it?
If I love you, will you ignore it?

U disappeared off the face of the earth, and I’m going to be sick.
All because I’ve banished u,
But still I feel so sick.

Delete and then block,
Delete and then block,
& delete and then block.
The same cycle for all my social media accounts…
Except for about 3.

I left those open incase you want to come back.
Add and then friend,
Add and then friend,
& add and then friend.

That was a mistake.

Yes, I saw the new new.
That girl smiling brightly.
That girl taunting me,
“Na Nana boo boo, you can’t have him!”

Well.
That’s when I started to feel sick.

Well,
That’s when I texted u.

Well,
That’s when I broke all self control and discipline.

And well,
Here we are.

I’m sick of calling,
Sick of texting,
Sick of feeling,
And I’m sick of you.
#Sick

How was I supposed to know
That even though
We said the same words,
We both meant
Different things?

i looked up
i promise that i did

i look for you in my arms
raised lines where i marked time's passage in shame
only bumps now
only scars
i look for you there and find no one
nothing

i look for you in the things you left in my room
a necklace
a pin
hard cold things that collect dust but not your scent
yours but forgotten

i look for you down the street
a parking lot
a place
empty now but for ash and debris

i lay here

my bed empty where it once held you
my heart empty where it once held you
my smile empty where it once held you

Do you know how it feels for you to not love me?

It's like you stabbed me in the lungs and trying to breath
My chest burning in pain
and I just try to breathe and smile
because you didn't know what you did.

I try to support you and care like normal
when all I want to do is scream
"don't you know what you've done to me"
but I can't be angry, you never knew

Loving you is the most beautiful and painful thing I've ever done

you’ve stripped me
of the walls i spent so long
building so high
and so wide
so that no one could enter after the last
and now i have destroyed the;
to be held by you