A strong weariness
has taken over the worn out shell
that is my own
no amount of rest
can cure

As each day passes
more reasons will be made
to give into temptation
and revert to old habits
from simpler times

Though these thoughts will linger
they will be nothing more
than faint whispers through the night

If these days find ways
to go on
than I
must do the same

Being who he is
it came as no surprise
that he could not be anything else
but alone
Shutting every door
until nothing but the looming shadows
from the drapery
remained

Four walls were needed
Four walls and no doors
Nothing that could be opened
or brought inside
to share the space

and it was always my place to stand
patiently
waiting for a welcome
that never comes

Should I be given the choice,
I walk the path
which frightens me most
because
we should exist
with bursts of life
to awaken our existence
rather than
to spend eternity
in endless slumber

They speak silently
on troubled nights
whispering through the crowds
Somber voices
crying out
and soon
nothing else can be heard
through blaring deafness
in the loneliness of your mind
Listening
Remembering each word
and speaking up for all to hear
because you will reply to them
every night
you will reply

Pain goes through me intensely
as I think
of all the times that I cherish
Suffering for joy
a gamble to be made
In order to shut off from the world
and dream of past better days
Perhaps it is the memories themselves
worn out
from keeping me happy
day after day
driving me to recreate
what cannot be done
once more
Perhaps it is time
to let go

If you leave
it is your decision
I will not follow you
or leave heartfelt messages
to return to me
to change your mind
and warm your heart
If you leave
you go alone,
but if you return
I will be here
just the same

Please do not look at me
as though I have poisoned you
with my love
with eyes full of sorrow
brimming to the rim

Please do not talk to me
as though I have held a gun to your head
with my words
with eyes that stare through
the sadness
breaking in

Please do not look at me
as though I have walked away from you
without another word
even if
I have.