my grief has moved on
to somebody else
but it feels like
the pile just grows

the tears are thicker
the smears are slicker
and it feels like
nobody knows

I sit each night
after they all go to bed
to hide the sorrow
that nobody shows

but I still cry all the time
in fear of forgot
in my heart
so full of these woes

suddenly I'm able to see
everything. too much.
its all there. right
in front of me
everything is
elucidated

I just wish someone would
come back, and fog up these windows
I use for eyes and maybe
put back some of that
sweet mystery
into the world

I wish I was back in that
candy shop. When my only worriers
were the cavities that Dr. Patanaud
would discover
hiding in the dark crevices of
my mouth

But now, along with those cavities
in the deep and infinite caves
of my whole are secrets
that hurt more than cavities
that I wish my dentist could
fill. but he cannot

and so now, here
I am. with a
sore mouth. and sore
eyes. and sore
ears. sitting at the only
lit table in a romantically dark
room

i've got a lump in my throat
that won't go away

and some tears in my eyes
that can't seem to sway

my hands won't stop trembling
as I sit here and sigh

from all the postcards stacked
by this window so high

but you haven't responded
so they haven't been sent

and so my anxiety
is all I have left

but these voices won't stop screaming
and this ceiling never ends

and this lump in my throat
keeps on doing big backbends

so please respond
before my landlord calls

telling me the neighbors
have been complaining

about these love letters
through the white drywall

won't you pay
attention
just for me?
just this one time?
please, just let me see?

i've waited for you
for days
for years and
months and
minutes

but all that you
leave to show for yourself
are the days
and years and
months and minutes

that you stay away

but i need you here
for closure
or at least for a
goodbye

because
your face is
like a melody
that won't leave
my head

and all i want is
the music to stop
or at least to come
to a blissful
temporary
end

are you still here?
if so,
why haven't you said anything?

it's been four years
six months
and eleven days

i talk to you,
you know?
every night.

do you hear me?

sugar is how we got here

sprinkled on things
that were once plain
and thus made
so much sweeter

doused on the
painful qualms
of everyones stupid
life

poured on our
guilty pleasures
that keep us astray
from what we know

but sugar gives us cavities
rots our teeth
rots our soul
rots our world

I watched you
as you walked down
that cool, grey
sidewalk

flaming lips
clung to your
cool, dark
skin

chewing your pencil
between your
slightly hereditary yellow
teeth

And that one
chipped tooth
that i gave you
when we were seven  

I watched myself
put my cigarette down
because suddenly
I wanted to have lungs

I wanted to have lungs
so i could breathe
your sweet and pure
air

At that moment
you became the succulent poison apple
the 1000 calorie ice cream cone
the guilty pleasure

my saccharine escape
from this cancerous world