The written word,
The smitten hurt,
Dance hand in hand,

Step to the silent beat,
Wave your hands at the paper white,
Send me write to my dreams,

~Robert van Lingen

If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.

Love blunt my blade,
Set in stone my firebrand,

And show me a new way.

~Robert van Lingen

There will be a morning
Like all the rest
When you turn over and open heavy lids
As you exit slumber you are startled
Because you are alone

You fell asleep alone
Yet you will be surprised
You call out, remembering the lives that once mingled with yours
They can be heard calling back
But they are not calling back to you

You lay in your nest
Wondering how all the birds flew away
When you've barely hatched

I choke and I panic
Because you can't love me
I claw at the windows of my soul hoping to break one
This stagnant air is suffocating
My prayers are that you aren't the tornado I fear you to be
******* up the remaining parts of me
Spin me around and spit me out
This is what attention is about
No validation
Only violation
Imploding expectations of the girl advertised
She is not the same as the prisoner inside
You can't love me, self
You never will

I wouldn’t ask You to forgive
if I thought that I was worth it
Shut You out, turn around,
I do my own and I feel worthless
But I’m holding to the promise
that I know I don’t deserve
You sent your Son to pay the price for me,
and knowing this has changed my world

Yet it’s not a one-side deal;
Christ washed the blood that I have spilled
but You require that I follow
and obey, to know your Grace
You came to make me not condemned,
so You said, “Go and sin no more.”
If I can’t turn and follow You,
then what was it all for?

Why can’t I give you just a speck
of the wages that I owe
I could never pay You back
I’m a sinner, and You know
You didn’t come to heal the healthy
You didn’t die to pay the wealthy
You came to heal a sinner’s heart,
to wash all sin out from the start

One thing You ask in return,
one tiny little payment:
that I would repent from the life that wasn’t life
and cast it to the grave, spent
That I would rise anew and worship You
That through You I’d be remade
So why is it that I refuse
to give back some of what You paid?

When does apology lose its taste?
Like this I’ll never see your Face
Lord see this darkness in my heart
Cast it out with shame
Fill me with your holy light
Take my lust away
and renew me,
restore me today

Take it
where I cannot go
Take it
where I cannot follow
Bury it
in the ground,
far below
where it can't be found

Burn it, Lord
all to ash
Pick me up
like shattered glass
Find the pieces
here in me
Take me, now
and crucify me

Because I can't do this
on my own
You know that
You've seen that
You see this
You see me now
in the ground,
dying,
not breathing,
lying far beneath,
and grasping
just for air to breathe

Well this dirt on me
has made me see
exactly what I need

So take it, Lord,
all away
Wake me up
to a brand new day
I'm holding up
a yoke of shame
Replace it, God
Don't leave me the same

This load's too much
for me to bear
You see the Truth
in every tear
But I can't turn,
so please come here
And take me to a place
where I can look You in the face
And feel the comfort of your Grace
Because

I long to crucify this sin
I hope that You will take me in
I want to take it
to the grave,
throw it down,
and be remade
(I've tried, I've tried, I've tried)
But I can't do it,
not alone

So I ask You now,
please,
once and for all,
to intercede
for me
I’m asking You, Lord,
please,
just *take it

We
  Are star dust
You
   And I
Amidst
The bliss
Of this
Endless
Sky
Entities
Of energy
Striving
To survive
Truly
We are blessed
At best
To be alive
   We
Are star dust
   You
And I
Amidst
The bliss
Of this
Endless
Sky


I'm ever greatful
& Oh so thankful
That you
And I'd collide

I exhale
  & watch
As you go
  The essence of me
Caught on the window
   A constellation
      Of condensation
       & I trace your name
    Bleeding the meaning
Of true window pane