soon, i will say good-bye.
i will hold you between my palms as you take your final breaths
i will look into your eyes as they close for the last time
i will whisper "i love you" as you still in my arms

and i know
i will wonder if having you was ever worth it
i know
i will cry and scream with the bitterness, the injustice of it all
and i know.
i will decide that i could never regret loving you.

i know, i know, i know.

do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
everything.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you

I close my eyes and I can see your face.
Sometimes clear as day.
Others, dusted with fear and pain.
And I wonder if this is some cruel trick.
Left dreaming forever.
Of a man I may never see again.

Oh God you are the greatest, nothing may compare to you,
Giving, oh merciful Lord, carry happiness through

Oh the one who gives and takes, give us all that is great,
And in our times of difficulty and need, send us aid
Oh please don't let our vision fade...
We are on our way onto your straight path, righteousness is paid

You are the radiance of the heavens and the earth
So please don't let us become corrupt, from our beginning..the birth

Oh Lord, you are the only one I serve,
I turn to you with a heart, filled with love
Everytime I recieve a blessing I turn to the clouds above

Grant us a fear of you that will be a barrier between us and sin
Please don't make our destiny the hellfire.
Ruined, is what we would have been

Free us from the fire of greed
Its what makes our heart bleed,
Kindness and patience is what we need!

Oh you are forgiving...so forgive us



~ Umi

The hardest part is letting you walk out the door
Back to your life
That I know hurts you
That I know exhausts you
That consumes you

I want to be there for you
To take away the hurt
I want you to be yourself again
To be happy
To be free
To say and do what makes you content
Without regret

I adore touching you
Kissing you
Loving you
The taste of your lips on mine
The touch of your tongue on mine
Every caress carves with such intensity
Sometimes too unbearable
Because I want this so much
With you
Your touches
Your closeness
Your warmth
Makes me whole again

I will wait for you
My door remains open
I will let you in

You feel like you're a million miles away
far from me
at another place where I can't be.
I wish I could see you.
I wish I knew what your voice sounded like.
Let the ocean waves roll over
and let the sun set so the stars will appear,
and be my guide to you.

I just haven't met you yet,
but when I do
I'll never leave your arms
because you'll be my coming home.

In the dead of morning
you'll be there with two cups of tea.
There wouldn't be anything I didn't love about you.
I hope your eyes shine
when you look at the world.
You notice how there is so much to explore
and you'll be left craving more.
You'd suggest we adventure out
and I would already have your bags pack
and be halfway out the door.

I would never get mad at you.
Not even when you spill your coffee
all over my poetry.
I'll smile and kiss your frown away
telling you that it's okay.

There isn't anything I wouldn't tell you.
We'd bury our secrets together in our backyard garden.
We would sleep so close together at night,
fearing the edge of the bed.
We would everything and nothing.
We would never let our love for each other grow hungry.

The stars always shine brighter when I think about you.
Do you see how they shine?
That is all for you.
I know I'm still young but I can't wait to meet you one day.
I know you're out there
dreaming about the day you'll meet someone.
I hope that person you think about is me.
Even though you don't know me yet.
But that day will come and it'll go down in history books,
trust me.

our happy memories
served as the ink of my pen,
that when I lost you,
I never got to write again

With our own intoxicating tongues,
we blame one another.
Hoping someone will get around to explaining,
how our planet was poisoned.