if you are going to fall in love with me,
you must know that i cry. a lot.
i cry during rainy days, sunny days, or on a monday morning.
i cry everytime i watch a happy movie and everytime i cut onions,
but do know that i cry harder every time i talk about the things that have hurt me, even if they don’t hurt anymore.

i need constant reassurance.
for i am afraid of being left behind, of being unloved.
i will probably tell you all the things i hate about myself
while you disagree with each one of them
but i still won’t believe every single word you’ll say.

i got used to shutting down the people who care about me.
it will be so hard for me to open up,
but all i’m asking you is to stay patient, and give me time to adjust.
you might think i’m rejecting your company,
but don’t blame yourself, i appreciate you.

so listen, if you are going to fall in love with me
understand that i’ve been through the worst
but still, i’ll love every inch of your skin unconditionally

Maybe what's so hard
About mental disorders
Is that there's no
Difference
Between
Abuser & Victim

With no clear target,
All the pain
Hatred
Loathing
Swims around
Within the
Ill brain & person

Can you blame me
For being a prisoner
Of my own illusion
When reality
Always cages me
With expectation

Can you blame me
For being an addict
To misery
When I know
Happiness was never
Written for me

Can't you see
How struggling I am
Trying to survive.

Just
Blame me.
Not