you were knitted together before the world first heard your cries
and you were born whole
you were made to break barriers
never to hide behind the shadow of a man
it is time you stop trying to shrink yourself to conform to the world's ideals
you are a walking contradiction
both peaceful and wild
delicate and resilient
remind yourself you do not need his arms when you were given two of your own
do not let them burn out the flames within your soul
you belong only to yourself

I think the sweetest intimacy
isn't the ******* behind your curtain when the sunlight fades
but when I unravel all of the pieces,
stuck to me for twenty years
when you witness the uninviting parts of me
and just as I begin to feel shame come over me
you whisper "Come here, your scars are my favorite part of you"
sometimes I still struggle to see my heart as more than a bruised and beaten burden beating in my chest
but you look at me like it's the first time your eyes have seen sunlight in years
I find my place in-between your arms, passing time with you

I think I was always running until I found you
I was infatuated with the idea of love but the real thing scared me
so I was a magnet for boys who didn't know what they wanted
and I always thought I'd find the one and confetti would fall from the sky like rain
but you crept your way in despite the differences between us
and I've never felt more at home than I do when your lips graze my cheek on Sunday morning
and there were never fireworks or symphonies but your voice is the sweetest sound
and I might ask you if you still love me on the days when the voices of my past try to creep in
but you sit with me for hours and listen to my thoughts on the world
and I never have to question, I never have to wonder
you love me in the purest way

If there comes a day where you decide to strip yourself of the past
to dust off your worn out clothes and start again
If you move to a new city and meet a stranger with eyes like the desert at night
I hope you never grow out of the faint hope we always held close
I want you to know I left my heart in the same city we fell apart and I never stopped wishing you'd come back for it
It's still waiting to be found by you

I know you lay awake wondering when your time will come
you have dug your way out of the ground
everything that tried to bury you has failed
you were created to to put the night sky to shame and you were born with fire in your blood
you are the exception
the difference
using your energy to try to align your life with theirs is only pulling you away from everything you're meant for
you were never meant to look like them
there will come a time where you will be so glad you never settled for the ordinary

I keep having dreams that feel like memories
and I can't distinguish the difference between the two
all I know is there's a space between us thicker than the shadows in my room
and I keep tangling my thoughts in search of ways to feel worthy of you
I wonder who you're holding tonight
I wonder whose lips graze yours at 3 am while I'm trying to forget you
most days, I wonder if I could strip goodbye off your tongue and replace it with apologies
as if words could ever be enough to clean the mess we made

I am learning to bloom without seeking admiration
the praises of my peers don't affect the rate of my growth
I'm filling myself up with my own love
freeing myself of the weight of comparison
and everytime I fall apart
I get a new chance to rearrange my pieces
I have dug my way out of the holes that tried to bury me
I am the architect of my own life
and I am growing for myself
slow progress is still progress
I may be a late bloomer but wait until you see me flourish