What keeps me up all night
Is my own vivid imagination
Creating swirling embers, smothering smoke
And the bright flashes and crackle of flame

What keeps her up all night
Is she simply cannot sleep
And maybe she can't sleep
Partly because of me

Either way, we are both maniacs
And I know I'm happy to be one

So will you burn the world with me?

Can't you see
You're smothering
My warming fire?

I love you
And I am proof
Filled with desire

I just wanna let go
Be the fire that melts the snow
Surrounding, your heart
And be your welcoming hearth

<3

Go on, press record
Lift your phone to bloodshed
Lift your phone to the sound of hatred
Of bloodlust laid on a foundation
That was never really stable to begin with

Go on, film those frames
As you watch me beat the **** out of
All those who made me feel like ****
Worthless
Hated
Unloved
Alone
The final gunslinger, taking his stand
Draws his pistols, hipfiring
And in his stance, thumb through belt loop
Hat down over his eyes
Ashamed of his instant reaction,
His ability to **** and inability to remain emotionless

Go on, press record
Put it on Facebook
Let everyone know what you really are:
A cowardly bystander

I've tried
How I've tried
You pretend to know me,
Think you can see through every little lie,
Every little insignificant detail I provided about myself,
Who I was,
How I was

I try
I open my mouth but the words I wanna say
Get stuck
Probably behind these ****-ugly buck teeth of mine
So large as to block and distort
What I wanna say

I tried explaining
But once again the words evade me
Leaving me tongue tied, helpless, blind
OH HOW I'VE TRIED!
Like when I promised I wouldn't cut again
And the next day
I did it anyway
I was guilty as **** but...

I tried explaining
I tried to tell you I had an addiction,
The cigarette of the steel
The LSD of that smooth handle
The speed of that burning sensation in my arm
As it opens up to someone who can't stop himself
He's shaking as he does it, silent, words evade him
Screams evade him
And so too do friends when he fails to say
He TRIED!

You don't think he suffers enough?
You don't think keeping this promise is tough?
My mind is saying NO but only the part I control
And it's a scientific fact that you control
Only a small portion of your brain
It's not always in control
It's no override
It's no easy way out
IT'S NOT EASY

The words he wants to scream
The words he wants to shout
People look at him, disappointed when he says
What he has done,
The sin that is bad habit
Like he can ******* CHOOSE
To be depressed at this ****-awful WORLD
That constantly SUPPRESSES him,
Kicks him into the gutter
And proceeds to STOMP HIM
INTO THE MOTHER ******* DIRT
LAUGHING
MOCKING
TELLING HIM HE'S WORTHLESS
SO HE HEARS IT IN EVERY TINY LITTLE MISTAKE HE MAKES
"Oh, you didn't do this right" translates to
"YOU'RE NOT RIGHT! YOU'RE WRONG! SO ******* WRONG!"
"Can you please do this again" becomes
"YOU ****** UP MAJOR, SON, AND I'M DISAPPOINTED!"

If there's one thing I hate it's causing disappointment
If there's one thing I hate it's frowns
It's anger
It's hostility when all I ever tried to do
WAS TO MAKE YOU ******* SMILE!

I told you I tried
I tried so ******* hard
I broke my back for you
I took twice the load
I never told anyone else
Because nobody else would care

All they ever did was stomp me into the gutter
And so I turned to the one thing that gave me pleasure
This ****** addiction
Where self-harm is okay
Everyone else harms me
So surely it's okay to do it to myself