I am the last grain of sand in the hour glass. I await the fall.

So I woke up feeling crushed and sad, my anxiety and my depression were screaming. My intrusive thoughts woke before I did.
So I fight back with hope.
Science and hope until my negativity feels so small in a universe so vast.
So small against the wonder of the universe, how small my hurt is amongst the vast light of countless suns. How insignificant in comparison to the depths of the oceans and the power of storms and solar flares. I am small, so is my hurt, I am strong enough to shoulder and carry it long enough to feel the wonder overtake me.

Guthrie is a man made of garbage
His dreams they rot and leak
He has banana peel hair
Hes got old martini olive eyes
But did you see him before the light died
Years ago
Way back to a time when charm and wit flowed freely from his mouth
His tongue a silver spoon
His dealing hand like a golden talon
Tryna ***** the light out
His feet the vehicle taking him to paradise
He says "you only live once, better live the burning life."

Jane holds the pencil in her hand
She uses it to get the thoughts out of her head
Now they won't come out
Time for a new tactic
She swings her clenched fist at her ear
The squelch is felt more than heard
Again and again she gouges the thoughts from her brain
Thoughts pool dark red in her lap
She finally shut them up
Eyes closed
Relaxed sigh
Alone in her head again
Jane fades out

Twisted brain shiver spine tickle
Morbid curiosity has the wheel and lead feet
The torch is melting your face
Death beats you with a fire extinguisher
Death keeps screaming "it's for the irony"
You high five with exuberance.

He's got those lingering lips
Tripping over my prercipis
Tell you hes jack o forest
Tell you he's running for it

She's got wild eyes
She swallowed  bee hive
Much stinging inside
Believes she can't die

Juggles knives with steel finger tips
Says your gonna pay for this
I've died nine times
I've lived many lives

You've infected my head.
Even in death I write of you.
My muse.
Stomping my head into the earth with every word.
A deadly gangrene.
A poison in my tea.
I lay my head against the curb bracing for the next crushing blow.
I let the infection spread.
I drink the poison down.