Were we a trainwreck  never ment to be?
So many opinions on you.
Yet the only one that ever mattered was from me.

Messages written last words scribbled apon my wall.
That ill fated lovestory  was my life.
So I recall.

Old friends make great rivals it does seem.
The journey took me from the nightmare.
To awake in a dream,

Such a small feeling soul standing  so very tall.
It was a delicate dance.
It was a perfect disaster  so I recall.

To lean apon a shoulder that looks to rest apon another.
Taking long walks to nowhere.
Looking into the empty eyes of a man once known
to me as a brother.

I've seen dreams fade with the setting sun.
When all hope has been lost.
To whom should I run.

First we stand untill we crawl.
These lessons of a tormented youth.
So very often I recall.

It sit's there apon the bar mocking me a clown in a insane circus of
never ending torment.
The music a backdrop to the madmans bluff.
Closing time never stops the want only speeds up my fire to consume.

Maybe it's time to slow down many say but when your breaks never were installed a crash is always certain.
**** it!
It's my vice and least mine arent hidden like thoose of others even through bloodshot eye's
I view just as clear as any other.
My hero's were all monsters to there own ego.
And when you belive your own ******* your as washed up as a name
painted on a wall left to fade.

Everyone gets passed by sometime.
But if this were a game I wasnt hitting them outta the park anymore and riding the bench
wasnt my style.

None had the nerve to stand up to me for even in madness my wit cut like a razor to a dull sense.
I kicked what was left back ordered another yes she was waitting.
And like a well trained dog for months I had swallowed my true voice to speak her lines
but ******* in breath is worse than a lie at heart.

Tonight i'd  cast it aside the fire in the glass didnt give me courage it only softend the blow.
I never needed a crutch to call a backbone my words stood for me and i lived them.
Tonight i wouldnt be that person silent meek or  drifting in the dellusion called love.

The bar keep gazed at me as a friend.
**** if not for that weak bridge of brotherhood id been cut off
hours ago.
I was at that point of rage and fury that made little noise just like a dragon the fire simpley
cast smoke in a dim lit world and shame on the fool who tested me tonight.

Trouble was a long lost friend that never ventured far when it comes to my thoughts.
My thoughts were blank and my world was at the point of change.
But no direction was always my role in the play.

Tonight i'd cast the first stone and destroy the mountain as well **** the view.
Give me space!
Emptyness is many things but a blank page is seldom a call for help.

As night met my warmed blood and cold heart I found solice as always in my own
thoughts some people need emptyness and isolation is but a sister to happiness.
I could always find a crowd when in need of shared thoughts and a simple laugh.

Tonight I wasnt empty for if i a flask in this thought known as life.
I was just half full.

Sometimes  you have to erase the landscape to see clear.
Change is something better left in pocket as tonight I did drown in a half empty
thought.

Partys for couples new lovers and just friends.
Music to fill the night the streets of New york
breath life to old flames keeping even jaded souls warm.

The lonley gather round the TV.
sharing a glimpse at something we all yern to have.
And from the up high the streets seem magic tonight.

the soudtrack of the night will echo
into are hungover minds with a painful yet happy reminder
of last nights celebration.

Late night lovers will smile and go there awkward ways.
So many acts in so many different plays.
creeping back to are corners in lastnights suit and tie.
Tight little black dress kiss worn lips
acting happier than two kids ragged in need of a shave
you with hair in a mess.

And for friends that gather to relive not so real
past glory.
The pages are left to the writter.
To add to lastnights not so original story.

As the barflys gather to battle another unsober day.
I watch this first new day anew.
Take a sip from my flask and thank the lord
for one more year with you.

And tonight I say to you all raise that glass.
kiss that stranger you know so well.
Laugh love and live.
And thank whomever ya choose weve made it through another
year to tell.

Maybe it was the city's lights that took your
eyes from mine and lead you astray.
memories made in rythm with the citys traffic.
empty barooms waitting to create tales of another day.

Hands held tightly still can slip from anyones grasp.
Hearts filled with passion change without notice.
Old locket loves are bound by rusted clasp.

A walk to togather is so much better than one alone.
Attached by more than words.
Dim lit streets and a sometimes working pay phone.

City your cruel and unforgiving to all.
Cold as a park bench for a bed.
Tugs haunt the water over the sea's wall.

Cheap wine fire from the barrel.
The city reflects a vision of wicked carol.

So does the sun bid farewell to the day.
As the poets take to pen.
I reflect apon the citys lights that lead
your eyes astray

As once you saw the man
an illusion of what does stand today.

You cannot fight the tide it will take you away no matter your efforts,
as easily as it did I.

The tide is not there for you to fight
It is in it's nature to devour you whole
What you are missing is your anchor
That very small part of your soul
That piece of you inside the storm
That whispers in the night
I know you are drifting away from me
but I'm strong enough to fight
I'll fight the tide to keep you here
Just bobbing along the shore
I'll fight against the tides of might
So you don't fight no more

I once saw a horse run free
along a lonely stretch of beach
It's hooves continually flicked free
the waters that corralled it's feet

Many sunsets and storms cast dunes
broke are the barriers now
none stand ever so true .

We are all alone from where we view the horses running along the shore.

All this beauty that runs, we are no longer part of this picturesque scene anymore.

I can't bear these thoughts
the pain is too soon
the soul dreams seem an illusion.

We ran till that point from which we began
We became a blur and everything in between.

Much like us, everything
just fell in between the cracks of life and regret, I have tasted it's wine bitter sorrows to be broken in every sense.

All those horses see the truths we so easily mask to ourselves.

Trampled like innocent hearts under hooves.
The foot prints are simply a reminder, running off into that endless sunset .

I know this speaks of goodbye.

And I wish only to be blind to it all
As in love I was once as free as the horses
who in my minds eternal thought
run as freely now as your heart is
Erasing me as the ocean does the imprint left behind.

Sometimes we have to go through hell just to understand were alive.
In that case I am doing great I do suppose .
I have seen friends vanish lost a website I created and ran for many a year lost readers and lost my mind on more than one occasion.

Sprinkle in a very bad accident on a motorcycle and you have the ingredients for a bang up year.

I find people are delusional when it comes to writing .
They think a contract means your life all the sudden changes for the better ,When in truth it is just the end of one struggle and the beginning of the next.

Problems never end but with any change there are just new problems .

My life is a ******* train wreck and I have played that full throttle lifestyle to my advantage for far to long .
But it was never a act there is nothing fake about me .

I live for I know every moment is uncertain and in that understanding I embrace every second.
Few people truly know me they either know what they have herd or simply make up the rest .

You cant waste time over the ignorant for as soon as you knock one down there are fifteen more standing in that fools exact same place.

**** them if they don't get you .

I have found more comfort in a night spent under the stars than in the company of those who would tell you there good intentions while placing a knife to your spine.

I'm a *******, a drunk ,A fool ,I am whatever you choose to label me
but I am always a hundred percent real .

Those who preach those who try to pretend they would point you in the right direction are full of pure crap .
I cant lead me so ******* if you think I could even begin to help you.

My road has taken me so far from everything I once thought I held dear.
Twisted my logic and weather beaten my soul.
Maybe I'm ****** up from life but no worse than the image that stares at you in the mirror you refuse to truly see so you place the labels on others .

Whatever make 's you feel less of a freak sweetheart is fine by me.


I  found that it's always uphill when you don't settle for what's there.
I never did listen worth a **** and I dam sure wont buy into someone else's ******* I would rather be a fool to my own guidance.

Take this as you will.

Sincerely  

Gonzo

From the marshes I saw the death float apon the water.
No sound of sorrow  did follow the gentle decay as it flowed to shore.
Money vs Nature the dollar  for death.

The blood red sunset seemed a oil painting of
a nightmares sky.
As numbers matter more than  souls.

History of these waters poisoned is are future.
Sluge does seep across the marsh.
Klling many in diffrent ways.

Generations trade erased to greed.
The politicians lies and to the helpless feeling.
In this moment we've lost all light.
Fires of hell.
visions of a oil painting of eternal night.

As apon the water I lived my life in tune with the sea.
As people sit in question.
Fools always looking to the next for answer.

As black does erase it's tranquill blue.
Fathers and sons bid farwell.
To the only life they ever knew.

For what more can you lose all is gone.
Thoose peaceful water's of mind.
Are but a reflection of natures soul.

**** the the land *******  of greed.
Nothing ever is enough.
Apon the  bones  broken to the very
marrow they feed.

A hand open  and a mind closed.
The wind carries a message unherd.
As darkness overtakes  the  shore yet effects
far beyond  it's reach.
When hope is lost to whom will you preach?

I learned early there ways.
Words that speak of  happiness.
Barbwire is the tongue of the heart that always
betrays.

You cant put your hopes on the false and untrue.
Deception doesnt  help the case.
For I can hold this bottle closer than you.

Bitter are my words  but it falls apon
deaf ears.
soaked are my memories.
Washed yet still they remain after all the beers.

Sugar dont worry with false emotions
just put it on my tab.
The warmth of this bed now ressembles a slab.

We struggle to recall who we once
were.
The partys the past mistakes.
It's a nothing more than a blur.

Hollow in heart is my truth filled obsession
Lovers often embrace in lies.
And hold hearts in bitter nights confession.

We played the act for as long as possible but to the naked eye it was so easily clear.
As the radio cry's old memories I realize are thoughts were bleak as this half delusion cast view .

Take my hand as one last time we embrace only to close the chapter .
Nobody can see the man for the character maybe I simply asked to much of you and to little of myself.

It's no longer there sweetheart so to you and the reader I must say this farewell.
Chapters close and pages fade nothing understands the pain but with time soon none will recall.

We know the memories now it's simply time to erase the void .
I hate this choice but tonight is as good as the next.
Shards of broken glass once held fragments of are half truths.
Secrets will seldom remain so try not let them bury you as me.

The nights magic no longer is my spark and this page has far better
company to keep.

Treat her well as she once did treat me.

I was broke as usual it's okay I understood that far easier than I ever did being well off.

Long as there was a bottle and a room I could crash in I was good.
I never cared to gamble.
I lived my life that was a gamble enough

My money i preferred to be wasted upon myself not given to a fixed game played by overpaid children.

The only sport I ever loved was fighting.
I understood you against another.
In life its always you against the world.

I loved to fight even when you lose you know you've lived
I had stepped between those ropes often.

Paid the the price for a simple mistake and been knocked flat on my *** for it.
Boxing is a human chess match very few men have what it takes to go toe to toe with another.

Anyone can fall down it takes a man or mental patient to keep getting back up.
I had paid my dues broken bones multiple concussions between that and all the ***** poured into my skull you think I would be braindead by now.

Some would tell you I already was.
And those people would be like most full of **** speaking on things they know nothing about.

Critics come in all forms.
Don't worry over there opinions nobody ever worth a **** sat on the sidelines.

I had nothing to show for my years.
I could barely get moving some days.
But when the drinks hit me right and some young **** called me out i still had that spark that fueled the fire.

Never take **** from.anyone no matter how tuff they seem.
Anyone can get caught anyone can bleed.

Remember kids its not what you can dish out.
Its how much you can take and keep going that makes you tuff.

I wore my scars like tattoo's.
Everyone of them had a story.
I never believed in luck.

I just kept going no matter what stood before me.

If I depended on luck in my life.
I would be up **** creek for the rest of my existence.

Never stay down no matter how easy it seems.

You know I've always been a fighter .
And even when your on the ropes you still got to think there's a chance.

Many things in this life will attempt to break you.
People ,Disease. , Addiction .
We all fall down sometime .

Never ******* stay down .
I do t give a **** if it hurts .
If it's easy.
If we all can do it .
Then it isn't anything to begin with.

Ive broken my knuckles both my feet.
Destroyed my back and neck and I'm still standing nothing separates men more than the willingness to except defeat.  

I will never say you are better than me even when you are.
Its not ego but if I become your mud puddle to step upon .

What are you when you stand alone but a fool who never met a challenge .

Do not allow this society to mind ****  you into submission.
Far to many settle and get along.

You don't have to like me but you do have to respect I won't take your **** just to stand in your shadow.

I stand in my own spotlight and I suggest you find your own and allow it to shine brightly until your exit.


That's my advice kid.
Call me **** ,Call me a drunk .
Just never forget to call me by my name.

I'm always the hero of my **** as Bukowski would say.

Take it or leave it.
Some good sense from a life lived is far more useful than kissing *** and pretending to be something your not.

Be you and nobody will ever question.

Common sense goes a long way to well intended lies meant to never ruffle a single feather .

Fake pages and fluff writing are alot like toilet paper kid.
Except toilet papers more useful.

Keep your hands up and your head out of anothers ***.
For in life with age and ego you'll have to pull it out your own plenty if times .

             Fin

It's only in the hours when it where's off i realize it's leaving me.
I cling but the spark is gone.
Im inspired more by destrution than words.

Your reading the next.
And as you grasp what I say can you fathom what I dont?
Is it so hard to reconize a ending?

Are the bad jokes far from my real truths?
Have I found my edge  or just slipped over it?
Part of us has to understand it will fade sooner for some than others.

From thought to papper it's a dangerous road travelled .
and often there's no clear direction.
Ive burnt out my senses now im wasted in excess.

A victim of my own wreckless reason.
It's always there in the sense of a final chapters twisted close.
Im a empty lot in the winter.

A cliffnote to a once well read book.
Now just fodder for few still brave enough
to walk along the overgrown path.

Addiction is something  you can hide from few
let alone yourself.
I hope the mind can create a final chapter.
But my thoughts seem bent on a open ending.

The voices carry as they  do in cheap rooms with even cheaper company.
The smoke smell the after party lingers a moment lost in time and haunting my present like some strange ghost I simply except it cause I could give a **** less over what may soon to be.

People will break you only if you allow them to.

I always place the table near the window leaving my back to the door and can only imagine the view to the onlooker .
To those who cannot grasp what it is to create .

It's when my vices are on full display and the demons of my thoughts keep company with the angles who've embraced my bed .
Madness is a clever disguise to repel the foolish who believe themselves to be within the same class.

I never worry about keeping up I view my words a island that needs  no other to maintain my ego this ******* doing fine all his own.

Allow that little black dress sweetheart to fall aside and slither across the floor.
My passion isn't in a heart it's in excess and till death I do embrace with a devilish grin.

Never allow others to hang there ******* and regrets upon you.
Advise is like toilet paper great to wipe your *** with and nothing more.

I regret nothing I simply yean for more .

I hear the laughter and moans from a one night stand here the bitter pound on the walls jealous they no longer can taste the danger and pure joy of the pleasures from which life has since locked them out.

I simply poor another drink and continue this drive through the darkness do you ever miss it my dear as I no longer miss you?

Will you bury me in mystery or simply reminisce of times now washed clean as a summers southern rain.
I stand alone for none were willing to chase the failure such as I.
You cant half *** art my friends there's no safety in my tomorrow so I toast every day as it were my last.

I face the desk towards the window to embrace the dark a mistress for which my thirst I do surely never hope is quenched.
No drug is greater than the one that feeds air within your lungs .
Never doubt the words that flow first for backtracking is for the lost
and I find no direction leads you best when in doubt.

So many voices follow faces for which I never truly see .
tomorrow we will scatter in are directions and I will leave with the cliff notes of my madness and a hangovers emotion and her thoughts still warm in the emptiness I do love more than anyone.

A empty bottle upon the table and a scribbled note on the motel stationary.
Excuse the mess all hell broke lose .

Old friends and new vices often collide in the night.
Signed Sincerely

Just one of the many voices from down the hall.
In yet another now empty room.

And from the battlefield so does he emerge.
Beaten blood stains his memories.
Such beathy in destruction apon the devils backbone
such powers converge.

Bodies gather tossed into a heap.
he's silent even in his thoughts.
For the madness to one's self is better to keep.

Dying moments at a time.
the field may change death is the same.
Where humans are numbers with a toll
up the ladder he does climb.

The honest view over shadows the
ignorant few.
Tortured are the memories trapped inside.
Cold steel to which tonight he does confide.

Blood stainded bages how they do gleam.
After years of the twisted vision.
No side has to be right it does seem.

The blood is embedded in his very soul.
No matter the side.
The the memorie alone takes it's toll.    

Often we recall alone we regret.
nightmares creep into are waking hours.
So is the victem of the memory forwhich you cannot forget.

So if noting beats a fail better than a try.
My forever linger 's twisted as spanish moss hanging from some hidden tree
Long forgotten to a red sunsets southern sky.

I as animal violently fighting the clutches of it's steel trap.
In hour's of endless try and a stalled loss sometimes the reflection
seldom matches a well intended delusion and a has been heat.

I saw the road ahead yet still followed the path.
Tommorow maybe you hold more than failed embrace.

Old page and of chapter's past have you dealt me my final hand.
Like some broken horse put to pasture never knowing it's prime.
I saw the signs I just simply chose not to care.

Mocking friends and often ignored replies .
Tomorrow hope is a dream.
Seen to all but I.

We sat there at the bar were I always preferred to hold court .
"Hey man Rebecca tell's me you write".

The young kid said as he took a seat next to me .
"If you can call it that then yes I do bud".

"Well to be honest when Rebecca told me that I looked up your work ", "Your style isn't my cup of tea but you are a skilled writer".

"Oh yeah I'm Brandon by the way ".

The young kid said sticking out his hand .
I shook and braced myself for whatever boredom I was about to endure .

"So you write also I take it or you just a critic"?.

"Oh I'm no critic I write but I write science fiction it's simply a more free forum to me with endless possibilities ".

Wonderful I thought to myself not only am I sitting next to someone who thinks there a writer they have to be a godammed science fiction writer!

"Do you ever read science fiction"?

"Not if I can help it".

"Oh why is that "?

I took another swing of beer decided to light a cigarette maybe the smoke would drive this mosquito of a person away.

"Bud I will be honest I write what I know , "And time travel and space ships and bio mechanics is just a little out my depth you see".


"Well it can get complex I suppose ".

"Well kid honestly if I have to spend five chapters explaining the environment and setting up the story I've already lost interest".

"Yes but the freedom it gives the writer is without limits the pallet is so vast".

"I'm happy just staying in my corner kid and I am no painter so I prefer a page to a canvas".

"Well I think you would really like my work maybe I could share some with you sometime".

"I'm good bud".

I ordered another beer the kid beside me just kept silent least for a second .

I kind of felt like a ***** so I told the bartender grab one for my friend here .

I was a ******* but anyone who had the ***** to put themselves out there still was owed a ounce of respect even if I didn't dig there style .

"Hey thanks is it okay if I call you Jack"?.

"It's my name bud so feel free".

We sat there spoke about the flustrations of publishers and rejection slips all the normal ******* that goes along with writing .

"Jack how did you break through"?
"  I Mean you get published you get read how did you do it"?

"It's no secret kid ,I just kept writing through the ******* ".

"You see eventually if you dont go away and your work is good someone will say yes ".

"It's no different than chasing women , You take a room of fifty women you ask every single one of them to dance someone's going to say yes ".

"I thought all women love to dance ".

"Most yes ,But not all and usually its more appealing from far better looking men".

The kid laughed and replied well I guess you got a point there .

"Jack you ever think about writing about more than just ***** and chasing women "?

"Nope ".


"It just seems so limited give me the moon and stars worlds unknown that's the sight I yern to see".


I laughed as the bartender sat two beers down took my money off the bar and stared at her nice round *** as she walked away to get my change.

"Kid you can have the moon and stars I'm doin just fine with the view down here".

Shes always my past waiting to drag me to a time eternal.
As  nightmare's  are but my deepest desire.
When happiness was more than a word unknown to me.

As we cling to it gently knowing the reality wakes
us alone.
Togather in desperation I wish only to erase this
vision to save the pressent.

She's knows it's near the moment we can never face.
In the darknest it's in fear I regret  what we'll
remain of my heart a vacant space.

The breeze slip's over the over the dying summers breath.
A angel's last rites and this demons favorite disgrace.

As sunrise ****'s my heart of dreams im left alone.
The feeling so real.
False was that time  killing only me still
This fool yerns to embrace.
The memory that never matched the face.

I write my farwell  to  you  everynight  in the
theater  of my faded heart.
Killing me  to live   the shock has left me numb.

Tortures of a sadness  smiles sweet as the kiss
We share that only in my souls bitter reflection.
As the sunrise take's me away to my waking misery.
My days but a marker to my bittersweet end.

It's nice  to have people  like you to remind me
of the fact that  no matter  where exist theres always
some stupid *****  who  with a big mouth  and a little  uhh IQ

Dear Drew how I wonder  what it is  to be like you?
But im okay cause my head doesnt fit up my ***
so im good.

One great thing about your work.
Is whenever I run outta toilet paper  at leats i have something
to wipe my *** with.

Yes i remember someone  once like  you.
They never  did  recover the body.
It's funny  when  ya  got em tied to a chair   and ya break out the power tools  they always get sorry.

No worries hell I just wanna hear what ya gotta say?
Whats that?
Ahh **** seems the cats got your tongue.
Sorry bout that no worries  pretty soon it'll have the rest of ya also.

Dam Mr tiger is hungry.
Good times  my friend.
Hey ya like fishing  I know i do  hey come on  dog paddle  
that sharks moving fast.

All the sweet talk  aside slap nuts.
Ya know  we should hangout  and  go for a ride
Maybe dig some holes  in the woods.
Can you say ritual killing?

Well  sunshine  its been fun.
And  remember  dont **** with me  again.
Love always  your pal Gonzo.

Tonight like any other you won't say goodnight.
I won't tell the truth and you won't dare to ask.

The message will be lost behind the laugh and I will just bury myself with yet another illusion.

Truth is simple people are not.

We somehow missed the point and connected just a little to late .

Crossed lines burned at the edges.
You can't plan life it just happens.

And the worst fools never allow themselves to know if it was anything worth a **** to begin with.

We can't live never knowing in fear of falling flat upon are faces.
It seems the closer you become the further the delusion grows .

It is sad what a person can mask in fear .

Another night passed .
Eventually there won't be a second chance .

He stepped into the bar like a refugee finally hitting free land.
The cool washed over him as inevitably everyone turned around to see who was coming through the door.

You always saw people come through here during the summer the marina drew them in like flies to honey in this stranger was no different than the rest.
What can I help you with pal I asked knowing full well what his answer would be but hey it's my ******* job all right.

As I'd expected he was just here launching a boat .
The weather was perfect the water as smooth as glass but this man wasn't  out for enjoyment as I can see out the window at the dock his family waiting impatiently for him to get his *** out there and get this little family get-together on the road so to speak.

Want a beer bud , I asked.
Man I ******* wish might make this trip a little fun actually he said in a he wasn't really joking kind of manner.

It's always good to see someone stripped of their ***** a person who works there *** off all week only to be tortured just a little bit more on his off time maybe  that's why never had family or maybe I was just a self-centered ******* you probably agree with the latter.

So you off with the family for a little boat ride huh?
Yeah man I wish I was sitting here in this ice cold air conditioner drinking a even colder beer **** it would be nice, he said as no later did his new mother  better known as his wife opened the door.

David come on were  waiting so  get your *** in gear, The high-pitched speaking banshee yelled looking up at a room full of drunks in a repulsed manner such a charming woman no wonder this man had a look in his eyes like he rather chew through his own wrist then set sail with his charming wife and already bored and over it children.

I'm coming Gloria he replied as he looked back to me and rolled his eyes.
She slammed the door as she stomped off like a little child who'd been denied a toy from a store.

The man paid his launching fee  as he turned to leave I told him to wait.
As I poured a stiff double bourbon placing it down on the bar in front of him.

He looked at me, puzzled I didn't order that.
No my friend but you dam sure need it and I said to him.
Well I can argue with that one he took the shot kicked it back like a man wandering the desert who just discovered a oasis.

Hey man you know of any places out there on the sound that got really good views he asked me as I poured him another double.
Just then a just of age brunette walked to the bar in a pair of tight shorts and a  snug top and leaned over the bar hey there I'll have my usual she said shooting me and the stranger a smile that I'm sure had gotten her more than just prompt service before.

The poor sap stared at this young woman like a prisoner seeing some half naked young thing driving by in a convertible waving to him as he stood on the other side of the fence.

Well amigo as for the water I can't really say but from where I stand the ******* view is outstanding.

The guy took one last shot and headed out the door and as the launched his boat he nodded his head as he shot me a look like **** I wish  I was staying at the bar.

I just nodded my head and turned my back.
Yes for some the white picket fence the dog out in the front yard shtting all over their lawn screaming kids and wife who greet you every day when you get home and secretly plots to poison you or **** you in your sleep.

Yes that delusion cast dream may seem like a stable paradise for some.
But viewing the beautiful wicked little creature across the bar seemed a far better evening than one spent in a nonstop ******* purgatory.

Cheers stay crazy

Gonzo

In old worn-out lines we gather to collect dust phased only by our recollections of what never was meant to be.
I have come to terms with the emptiness that resides within us all.
Hollowed out is the shell is but a point.
It's standing merely a display.

Weathered hands broken egos have we all not felt the burn and then been left cold by yet another winters rain?
Old songs over bridges of memory some more weathered than others.

Deception leads to bitterness thoughts merely plague my reality.
Loneliness leads to weakness but I haven't found a better route yet.

The wolves howl hauntingly in the distance is my thoughts bleed trapped within this prison of reflection.
I'm far from over but don't let the rest of the ******* know that.

The reader is but a viewer to another man's soul, lurking within the confines of safety and warmth.
True depth is experienced never read.

Sometimes we all fall down my friends.

True to a traggic story that gleamed  of a hopeful ending.
The nights storm  broke the bonds.
In a moment of regret and stubborn ego you passed  like
a early mornings rain.

Smells of sweet natures perfume  touching all.
But leaving me empty  as the sky clear yet filled
with hollow thought.

To recall her I did struggle to forget.
Night's  illusion  confessions  in a key of deception
bitter ends paradise painted faded to soon.

And I  was no better yet worse in this mess of a soul.
To love  is to feel death's ever haunting embrace.
the oceans pull leaving a tide thats all been erased.

As in that last in embrace every secret so did
every word a liars soul almost did tell.
Paths cross  roads  exist unseen to all but me.

As a smile apon the soul  is but a scar apon the heart.
Bittersweet  thoughts taste of a regret.
In a fools torment overcast skys  
my dear we are but pawns in life's traggic spell.
So promising  was the kiss that tasted of farewell.

Old reflections and new revelations seem mired by my past.
Words thrown together for amusement the wreckage now simply a skeleton for children to play.

Sandalwood spent offerings the afterglow has long since left us cold now it lingers only in whispers somewhere within the catacombs of a dream I so eagerly forget and relive with each tune played .

Does it  still seem the same from you distant view my dear?
And old fights passions spent dried blood and a once in the moments ecstasy and a bitten lip.

How it seems a stranger now a old sentiment for a even older fool.
To hell with the memories they stand a tides pool of nothing I give a **** to embrace .

Maybe the nights are backdrop a story overplayed but none so beautifully ****** up as you.
Sureal is it now as my pavement of reality old faces and new enemies it's so ******* overplayed sweetheart almost as I.

We are nothing more than the example of the carnage .
Scars shared echoes of a illusion and are shared delusion how we laughed with the crash.

Tell me do they linger fragments misspent with others we react are ways with such bit players and one night stands where did we become
so jaded in a perfect sense.

Its all a act of repeat .
I dialed the number and simply hung upo before there could be a response .

For that train was derailed long before it met the station my dear .
just because I never reached out .
Don't ever believe I once did not care .

Lies we tell to are souls turn us to bitter old fools .
And this was my cue.

Exits are simply roads to yet another stage .
And mine was set long before my words reprise .

Yeah sometimes you just can't avoid that rear view mirrors
gaze no matter what kind of ******* you have become.

Everyday befor you walk out that doortheres that invisable line you have cross.A side you have to choose.Good or bad  right and wrong.Or if your truthful then you know the lines are often blurred.For often I have been cruel only to reflect apon kindness.The road teaches as well as masks a truthful manssoul.Youth fades  as we either move on or become part of a black hole  known as the past.It consumes even the strongest beliver turns the brightest eyes cold and vacant.And for thoose that see dreams they thirsted for come to a reality they realize what they chased.Was with them all along.Talent isnt captured it's born locked within the tortred soulto blind to understand that it it starts from within.for once at the at the top of one mountian you relizetheres only more of thoose ******* ahead.It's not about trophys and getting your *** kissed byothers who secretly thirst for your fall.Apon  reflection I wonder.Did I even want it at all?

At nights when they stumble back to there corners of the world I
sit keeping the neon cast shadows company.
Old dust covred piano  plays to a concert of  empty stools  and
a old ghost or two.

The music fades  like a smoke ring to vanish where none will know.
As a homeless soul stumbles from the shadowsto cross the
empty street.

The glass sits half empty as I continue to play.
As beaten as a broken tail  alley cat.
We all yern for comfort  but in this life.
Often were met with a back hand.

I play as nothing will ever change.
The broken soul   so very tender and strange.

And wait for the for them to return from there corners.
To mask my troubles and fill this dark empty bar.

Its been weeks and still there isn't a moment i escape your memory.

I tried the bottle and it only made me find the depths of emptiness that dwell within my soul.

I know my life has come  to its closing moments I watch it fade a sunsets reprise sitting upon the sandy shore .

I no longer give a **** to fight I wish only to allow the tide to consume what is left and nothing more .

We are all bunt out buildings from the wars waged upon ourselves .

Now let the dark waters give rest where torment once stood on full display.

I am tired beyond my years no longer content to simply exist were once I rode the wind .

My choices are but my own never try to follow another footsteps for there shadows cast will freeze you out in there ego's nature by design.

There is no more lines left .
The ink as blood no longer does course through my veins.

I'm simply waiting on the tide to take what's left away.

I remember the ocean the sound no man could write and only we shared .
Drinks to wash away with the tide .
We spoke of things we knew could never be and the road was destined to curve sooner or later it seems .

My delusions and your body so perfectly laid out  upon the sand and  flawless setting sun  the fire of imaginations and the passions of are drunken desires.

She was everything I needed and nothing to make me stay .
Maybe it's the moments like pictures scattered out across a ***** floor that allows us to linger or maybe I'm just another sentimental drunk like so many before .

I view you in that painting often in my minds gallery now more than ever as time has passed us by .
As wicked pleasures drove us and sounds like dreams simply were carried off into the dunes .

The most bitter wine can seem sweetest  to lips now parched from the long search for the oasis.
And I have worn my miles like shoe leather now clearly on display upon my face .

That picture stands a watermark of happiness I seldom know now .
A postcard of a  place I could never find again.

We all are haunted  in some way my dear.
I wonder ?
Does that picture within your thoughts linger just the same ?

Does the time make us fools or simply were we always so to begin with .
Sketches faded now remain a ghost that haunts only the artist and nobody else.

The clock strikes midnight, but time stands still in this illusion of borrowed hours

Will there be a moments peace within the turmoil which ever lingers upon this day
The hours are toxic to a idle mind.

Falling in a routine and a favorite vice the blade still glimmers even after all its use .

We always find misery easily where others just themselves.

Voices speak to me of freedom
But freedom is not something I desire
I beg and plead with you
But hell
what do you care
I'm lost
But don't treat me like a fool
A fools freedom in your smile
Is not freedom at all

As I walk now past empty gardens that once knew life of summers embrace .

Winters chill is a empty ended promise .
Now simply scorched is the earth that does remain.

The clock upon the wall simply keeps time we only hold memories and nothing more


Life has been a listless game of joys and sorrows
I've spent my joys too quickly and they nowadays spread themselves thin upon the stage which is my life
Sorrowful me that lingers on the edge of reason
May reason be the saving of my  sanity and not its end

1.Create a  Hello Poetry account  you silly little monkeys.

2. Add  some poems that have no right even calling themselves Gonzo.

3. Remember dont be original  or yourself  you silly *******.

4.To get in the charts go to twitter or  Mr Eliots office  late at night for a
private meeting slash lapdance you go girl.

5. Dont break any rules dont ******* anyone  just bend over and take it  in a nonsexual way   cause harassment is wrong  at least if there are witnesses  and  if you need someone knocked off contact Phil Roberts
just not during a football match or lord help you.

6. If ya cant get in the charts refer to rule 4.

7. Remember kids if ya  cant be yourself  then just copy a drunken perve like good old Gonzo  the black sheep of Hello.

Now you stay crazy you **** little *******  Cheers

I think at early age i saw the truth and its harsh light.
The dreamer was a sweet idea  the  reallity  a cold *******.
The poets to weak often found comfort in there vices.

The  washed up often found a finale page in there brains being splattred  across the room.
And the wise often found themselves wanting foolish
things.

Love it was a word often used and seldom felt.
It was that  fix down  Church street   it was a score for a moment a regret at best.

Love i hate it's existance it was the mirage that I saw in a cool nights fog
It called me once and killed me slowley one bad choice at a time.

Im not saying the young couple in passion is a time bomb  waitting to
turn into a  disaster at any second.
Im just saying it wouldnt catch me in it's aftermath.

The washed up thought it made them immortal.
The dreamers thought of it as air.
And the wise were to busy avoiding it at all cost's.

But the broken saw it as paper sailboat  caught in a storms drain.
I remeber her well.

Sad eyes i kiss the pain to ever embrace the salt of tear's matched with regret.
Till yesterday we cared as for now I can no longer say.
So long old friends do the nights silence cast memories for you as well?

Im far from a man who's became a stranger to goodbye's.
Storms cast far from shore seldom know the thunders much needed crash.
Open is the door but so closed is a old friends heart .

In a amber glass ive spent the last drop never leave regret behind.
Light's must fade as so must I.
Please dont look close for you may catch a glimpse at a untruthful soul.
Shades of hell often cast the most traggic yet beautiful skies.

We are all sunsets.
I hope only to paint the red embers across a sunsets demise .
Will are place forever be missed?
Or only a chapter in a books overdue close?

Time you've given me such a flawed view to all.
To sail off apon troubled waters perfect stillness never has been my style.
As to you all I wish only the best.

To the shadows  I have awaited your empty return.
Maybe one day we'll see it all same.
Paper ships cast in child's laughter ive been left aside to drift.


Tear's take the path roll for me if only once.
Tommorow will be someone else's sunset yet again.


Goodbye.

As a cool wind from the cemetary im found dead in thought
Yet alive in jaded soul.
Breaking towards reflection of the place i never belonged at all.

Amoung the corpse of a past regret so many thoughts.
In endless hours of worry  it seems so easy to forget.
In this place rest is never final.

As I recall her scars the candle hid her intentions in shadow.
Wine as life flows untill the bitter end.
Notes to a suicide  poems of  angst known only to it's
misery laced author.

We cast clouds in sun lit skies.
Some pains bring happiness to thoose who cant see
past the self absorbed  dellusion we call memory.

The oceans  rythm a bottle kisses the thought.
It's alone my thoughts understand my ****** up reason.
Adictions of fear junkies of need.
Ive found my place in a empty corner by the fires light.
You cant lose your grip  when you never had hold.

Frayed are the edges of this worn book.
Devils in thought always know ladies who yern to
taste the wicked  madness without regret.

That tortured soul the depth that isnt there.
Blind from the excess even old vices seem more like
tired acts for others amusment.

It's in these hours i see the damge and beautiful flaws
of age.
Contact is hollow when the vessel is empty as I.
The monster ive become  clings to the reflection of thought.


As the rose dies for the memory of a bitter past.
Gone are the reasons.
A final drink to the lights that to often fade.

This page has been all I had when the nights seemed eternal and the storms seemed many.

It bled my truths .
It brought me those I loved,  and helped push them away as well.

I have rode the winds and crashed into the rocks .
Embraced self destruction captured every lie and bared far to many truths .

I guess this is all that's left .
So I will end it , where it began .

Now this page holds my last truth.

Maybe im alone in my views maybe just bitter from age.
The road a fond memory like a old man who sits dead in legs yet giving thought to only wind
of times blonde hairs and scent did linger jasmine of his thoughts is sweetest when reflected by window so far from that time.

Now im like that man unable to run so here i sit lost to life a stranger to all even myself.
A cold drink on a honey suckle laced backpoarch.
If only my turns were diffreent maybe id know happiness i never been able to grasp unto myself.

But poets thirst for pain and self destruction is a well unfilled no lifetime could quench.

Alone I understand reason a monster ive grown to call myself.
In ways ive grown only to speak in pages none choose to read yet many can grasp.
Ive seen wars fought internal to cast shadows over the most clear sky.

Is it not time for a seaside eternal rest?

In pain I find logic sadness my eternal home nothing can mend broken roads but only help to build
more isolated paths.
Please i beg never to choose my road for it was never my to choose.

Tommorow will find tears in what never was todays reality.

It never was ment but it sure felt right.
All my hopes have finally found rest.
With motions a roar shall you recall my liftime based
apon one single night.

View me a pawn so mention the fool.
Judge only your actions and always remeber the voice silent in rage washed clean of tommorows misery for which iv'e had my final share.

Two strangers grasp togather all of nothing why must we question all that never can be?

                    The sunset holds promise red in color painted in thoughts
                    may one at least be held in happiness of farewell to me.

My road was always headed in a direction we all understood it was bound to happen sooner than later.
Why follow when I had no other choice.

Underneath nights stage in a gentle breeze soliace is such a peacefull fade.
What is taken shall never be replaced.

Once it was so ******* easy to connect.
We drifted as stranger's.
And now I a relic.
Stands part of something long forgotten.

Fueled by ego now drown in rejection they all leave you eventually.
Friends are nothing more than accidents waiting to happen I need only the critic to tell me I'm wrong to know something still is done right.

A theater of my thoughts tattered in a  part of town long since overlooked by others stands all the same as I still remain.

My pages worn beaten exist with as much passion as they did so long ago.

Fruits of my labor now rotten none wish to consume.
**** what you know!
For even I cannot understand whom I truly am.
Trace the lines there still mine just the same .

I listened to the fools laughter at my expense thinking I have lost what we never choose to behold.
The sleeping dog simply waits for the chase worth while than runs to
do something simply to spend time.

I never left I simply waited .

Time choses the fate and I simply fill in the blanks.

They say write everyday.
Put those words to paper before you lose them.

I say.

If your words are lost so easily they were nothing more than a mental **** to begin with.

I say .

Live without writing see the ocean at sunset bask in the existence without giving a single thought of capturing it upon the page.

Don't ever fear losing something for when we fear loss all we do is waste are time that we have.

They say many things all directed at keeping you back.

I say **** them all.

Cause any person worth there salt in this life.
Isn't sitting on there *** handing out advice like some curbside therapist.

Life is the only teacher you ever need.

Just remember advice comes cheap.
And opinions are just like ******* everyone's got one .

Cheers

Deep in the woods we did gather.
Shared madness in a brothers confession.
Speaking underneath the stars of past failures and present
problems.

Towards the bottom of the jar and nearest to the flame.
Time cast a vision of nothing to remain.
You can experience  a life and never truley live.

Poets unknown even to themselves gather around this fire
Truth's of lies vanish with the embers into a  cold winters night.
Stories of women false yet a pain  in a watercolors thought.

The jar glows to the edge is where you must find a beginning
at times my friend.
In the darkness shadows cast alone shared by fires light.

Hours are lost but we gain the  moments and forget the
regrets in a ******* up place  we find more solice
than any preacher could  understand.

Life is a trainwrecks  call on a dying wind.
The jar almost empty burning in thought.
The woods a church of life  the fire's warmth the blood 0f
night.

In a place I seldom understand yet often recall.
Togather we understand.
The true emptyness of it all.

I took a walk to see.
All the queens down market street turning just for a fix .
The ******* of the day doesn't matter when you only live for the score.

Greetings from the gutter.
Go wash yourself clean as I embrace it's decay.
Least I know my place art is never a safe bet sweetheart does  his touch still make you cringe?

Meet me at the bar and we will get lost together.
Goodnight to the fakes I have little more to give.
Goodnight to you all it's ran it's course shall we just let it die?

To the designer junkies who's prison resembles a palace I prefer the chaos of my own reality keep your distance for your ******* need not apply.

The cutter scars I  prefer to some airbrushed queen your flaws are your perfection were all ****** up so embrace the truths and ignore there lies.

Goodnight my friends my buzz has began to fade .
Life is a bruise beautiful in it's story .
Never hide the flaws for art is the biggest train wreck of them all.

Cheers

I am simply a record no one cares to play in some dark corner collecting dust.
The years haven't been kind so I will simply end it as it began.
No words will bind me so why the hell shall I reply .
Time is a empty feeling and a cold bed fellow indeed.

The fires there's it simply smolders on a night unseen to all.
Maybe it was far overdue maybe it was never what they believed it to be.
I  understand it a fade to a sunrise of promise.
A bittersweet after thought as I do find little solace in anything less than shocking .

Flaws we have become addictions are cage rusted remains the lock.
I once viewed it with promise now I see no point in the tides passing.
My words are left buried.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be

A liar a ******* a friend and enemy all rolled into one.
A fool with a wreckless sense.
A dreamer who's life rest ready to be void at the end of a gun.

The losser who's past speaks of no future clear.
The uncertin madman who seldom is ever truely here.
The man's lust for the road.
A still frame dessire cast in a black and white play.

To many fights to little scars.
To many reasons.
To less bars.

The grey in a was young  head.
My time is past half  is already dead.
The bitter truths  and well ment lies.
The wolfs heart under a devils   disguise.

Stories unwritten and some yern never to be told.
A winters bite in a glimmer of passion.
My place  gone from the illusion  ive loved so well.


The mirror reflects all you'll never see.
The mirror lies to all.
But never hides it's fatal truth from me.

Don't ever believe a night to be nothing more than another days passing and a new ones birth.

I have shed the remorse now nothing stands between me and every goal that will **** the past and me just the same.


Don't breathe in delusion just to expel ******* mixed with hope .
Take the ride and embrace the night for what  it is and everything it can never be .

There is nothing beyond the moment.

My road is always meant to be faced alone .

And I cannot be anything beyond the moment when death is the only promise I can be reassured of.

Sometimes a harsh truth beats the best well intended lie.

And a kiss goodbye suits the story far better than a slow demise .

Never hang your hopes in a good time .

Passion is a fire that burns to get you through a single night at best.


Truth suits me far better .
Be bad in the best way sweetheart.


Cheers .

Another rainy night a lost emotion and a dependable vice did the train simply pass in the night leaving only a smokestacks embrace to the moonlit sky .

A single scar in a ocean of bad choices the naked view and the want is not need can we build from the nothing we are I lost interest and you simply lost the desire .

Passion is a infection that often is cleansed with time .
Old fools often resemble a mirrors reflection don't ask for what I cannot explain just be the person you no longer are and I will fade for now as well.

In steady rhythm together and so easily apart.
Salt water I recall the fantastic buzz by the ocean before the storm .
And now we are left only with this .

Its a perverse ending a dying flame .
I lost a time and you just simply a thought.
The page turned and we found a different story altogether.

Sometimes I think about viewing those pages deep within you.
Sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone.
Then I recall how I came to be here to begin with.

And I simply pour another drink and let those thoughts die with the passing night.

We are all shadows of are own choosing.

Paper latterns light the gardens path.
To a splendid night and a summer bath.

Rose peddles trampled under her feet.
As her form fill's the darkness.
hiding in the shadows trying to catch a peek.

Of the beauthy who gives life with her
kiss.
Magic seems real on a night like this.

On a night like this the world stands still.
when feelings are spent.
And emotions serve there own will.

She tempts the angels and makes the old young.
Climbing the invisable ladder.
Rung by rung.

Green tea she sips while drifting down
a lonley night.
A painters brush draws a tear at her sight.

Golden hair cold blue eyes.
She breaks hearts with sugar coated lies.

Jasmine fills the air.
With love and memories to share.
nothing about her seems real.
She acts unfazed  with mass appeal.

Often is her coldness mixed with rejection.
She surrounds herself with walls for
constant protection.

Living in a world of her own making.
Giving visions of passion for the dreamers taking.

No matter her ways still someone she does miss.
As the wind travles  through the trees.
She reflects on a night like this.

She fills the emptyness with a secret innovation.
On a broken dream and a promised vacation.

Standing in the shadows soaking up her eternal bliss.
Romance and passion.
Come togather on a night like this.

this is a very old write of mine i found in one of many old comp books
just thought it sounded decent  i belive i wrote this about five years ago when i was to scared to show a friend let alone strangers my work.
anyways alot has changed since

I seldom need people and being they are seldom around it sort of balances itself out .

Friendships are like flowers they take to much care to keep them alive.

As for me.
I'm a cactus a total ***** .

The radio glows filling the
darkness with phantoms I call
old friends.

They gather to haunt my thoughts
along with you.
And I recall that dance so long ago.
It's become a fine wine Id rather
admire than taste again.

As that look I remember so very well.
We erase the parts that get in the way
of are dellusion filled spell.

The leaves change only to fall
apon ***** streets.
Where others trace thoose same steps
as you and I.

And in the darkness I remember.
as a heartbroke soul's voice calls
through the night.

As shadows  dance and the whiskey
glimmers within the glass.
She's there but a ghost within my lap
her chill brings warmth.

That memorie calls to me as the bottle
is better admired than cracked.
It's passion contained  for another.

Life does fade apon the gleam
of a blade.
Candles are better for birthdays
and little kids cakes.

Fire is shared between two in a kiss.
Reflection mixes well on just another
night like this.

He always carried a straight razor in his pocket and wore chip on his shoulder like some twisted reward .
I noticed his hands shaking as he set the bar the scars of time had changed him.
Gone was that Cavalier charm the boyish sense that had lured so many to him before.

We made eye contact yet spoke no words between us I simply called the bartender over to order another round sometimes there's no need to ask.
Been a while hasn't it?
He asked in a voice I could hardly recall.
Yeah it has I replied still never diverting my eyes from the bar.

There was no need to ask and I knew full well  not to invite the conversation to begin.
With him it was always a hustle a shark always have to keep swimming it's just its nature.

We sat there to strangers known only in title as friends.
Both in are separate corners, both to caught up in our own ******* to care about the other.
Too many miles had separated us now only scorn and ridicule forged this moment like iron to a blacksmiths fire and hammer.

The time passed slowly as the old jukebox played hanging as heavy as the stale smell of smoke in the air.
He always wore that chip on his shoulder a badge of honor for none to see.
I took one last look into the mirror's reflection and had to question.
Just what the **** become of me.

Never listen to the praise it's a poison that will drive your work to cater to the mundane.
Rejection is good but if you are going to be made of glass you picked the wrong path .
There is never a right way simply your own.

Ignore those voices that question everything take off the brakes and go full throttle for it's better to burn bright for a short time than to waste away a sad parody of your true self.

I'm no expert just another ***** at the keys typing away his life drink in hand killing the moments till there's nothing left but dust and memories for which stories will be cast .

The page is all that matters nothing more .

I have sacrificed all and I dam sure am not stopping till I die .
It's never a choice for the true writer .
I never viewed the road and saw many directions for me it was a straight ******* line since day one.

I may be a ******* to some but I will always be what most can never grasp.
True to myself .

No regrets ,No remorse .

I have tasted the pavement far to many times my words are like scars they carry a weight I cannot deny.

The faces always change yet my goal has never changed.
To make that page bleed to my will .

There's no easy way to get anything in this life worth a dam.
Likes are a ******* joke popularity his for high school has-been's emptiness is the truth of this road friends are few and rejections many.

If you choose to take this road all I can say it's one ruff ******* ride.
But if you are truly a writer there's no choice it's just the way it is .

No regrets and no ******* remorse!

We gave the night a fling and spoke without words letting only are emotions and passions do as they pleased .

I don't care to know you beyond this night she said and that suited me just fine.

We spared no secret and loved a moment for what it was .
Inside we find solace in warm bodies and cold souls.

Only the night breathes passion and the ocean creeps across the sound.
Salt we taste of spent passions does the moment breathe as heavy as I ?

You are far better than the page .
And far less than anything that soothes a bitter heart and nothing more .

She was that which could consume most but could never truly grasp a devilish truth of a wicked reprise that was me.

No closed eyes for some things need to be seen.
Was it something more .

Tell yourself so if it feeds your ego.

But it was something .
Enough said.

Farewell sweetheart.

I may never be good.
But I'm always a good time.

Cheers .

I had finally broke through on a small scale the words were selling .
I found less and less reason to find outside jobs to support myself anymore I drank as I pleased and slept in late .

I was amongst a few but we seldom if ever crossed paths .
We knew we existed but when you step from the playground to the battlefield there is a change that comes over you I cannot explain unless you are there .

People became less and less a concern of mine .
Those I gave a **** about had either died or left long ago.
To gain anything you must be willing to lose everything .

The person you once were must die .
Maybe some found it easy .
They scribbled some words down found a fool to publish it and struck gold .

But fairy tales weren't my style and I had reached the finish line empty and broken .
But I had reached the ******* ! , And that is  all that truly matters .

I thought of those that doubted me .
I thought of the women with whom had shared my bed .
Most thought I was insane and for some that is what drew them to me .

That drive was always there .

I remember sitting in the dark with one such woman .

"Even when your happy you seem so deeply sad inside ".
She said to me her head on the pillow .
As we looked into one another's eyes.

"I'm always thinking sweetheart it's just my nature'.

"Please just be happy baby everything is going to work out I promise ".

We kissed she laid her head on my chest and drifted off to sleep as I counted the demons of my past in the shadows .
They lingered like smoke rings in the air.

I knew are paths were destined to part .

Promises are for fool hearted children not bitter old men as I.

She found another and I found my place amongst those who grasped what few ever could .

We were guarded to others .
Insane to many for we chased a illusion and turned it into our existence .

It was a scene of emptiness and regrets we erased from the simple readers view .
And as for me I bleed the truths of my past upon every page making it seem like art fooling everyone but myself.

It was a fight to remain afloat yet I swam with the sharks and thrived amongst the few .  

I gave up everything that ever mattered to me.
And was a stranger now to even my oldest friends .

We were are killers for we had stepped on anyone who dared get in the way .
Never believe me to be the victim for I made my choices and now
I sit at the table eager to reap its rewards .

It's never a gift it's work plain and simple .
You clock in bleed your soul and bust your *** .
learn to smile at rejections and keep moving no matter how many times they try to break you.

What was once a child's escape is now a fulltime hell.
And I paid my dues in blood and heartache followed by vices that continue to consume me daily .

When you find yourself here, If this is truly for you remember as you ache from the pains of a life lived and a heart shattered not to mention a mind just a shock treatment away from the asylum .

You wanted this.

The view is never the same from murders row  .

Every person in this world is a story unto themselves.
Blank pages with such captivating eye's I have seen.
And  in the reflections of other's.
They always feel there alone amongst fellow freaks we hide are true voices washed clean by tides of ******* and ego's set sail.

I'm a  viewer to them all a invisible force given voice in moments forgotten in time.
Why linger in your thoughts my dear I have long since abandoned my own I need not share anything as long as were speaking honest tonight.

Maybe we will feed this urge maybe we will just part as strangers cast of stone set blurred in vision are course different yet oddly the same.

Can you feel it dying with the magic that is night lets feel are warmth together simply live for a moment for there is nothing more tonight.

I wont give you all but I will give you what you need .
I peddle the words simply as a drug and you my buyer are nothing more I loath the fantasy so let's enjoy a **** in reality for a change.

The road the vice your flesh and my want is all that feeds this moment make it nothing else don't dabble in delusion for truth is always pain.
**** the lights as music like a cigars smoke does add a essence of moment to this room.

Why beg for answers when we can write are own truths, Take what you will from this for I grasp emptiness and thrive from it's cold.
Lovers of nothing just two fools killing  time .

I view it all a passenger charmed in the conversation that never will be.
I will never cater to the audience for the viewer that matters is only the stranger that has become me