And the scars you  call  sovaneirs that mark your
arms and haunt your dreams.
The canvas tattred at times.
belongs to a tortured artist it seems.

Beatings breed the monster none will ever know.
Cast into the emptyness as a child.
Cries fell apon deaf ears screams in need of a direction
to go.

No photos or memories past do I
tressure.
the outcast understands the truth.
And does reside with the pain of plessure.

And the wicked will always find.
A subject so innocent.
For the weak are always left behind.

Blood apon the hands secrets eat at the soul
like a cancer.
Insanity has no reason.
Questions are asked for which i have no answer.

From chaos ive risen to bury that ghost.
Taken a form of a clown.
trapped within a prison this shell is but
a tempary host.

underneath the laugther it always does exist.
Passed of in conversations
Im fine I always insist.

It's no worry it's only a part time
lessure.
In the emptyness of my darkend soul.
I know the true pain of plessure.

Poison was the taste so wicked the pleasures shared my dear .
You were the best poison sampled  in a nocturnal desire all is dead .
Let the pain bring the  pleasures of guilt a tattered memory of my most wicked design.

When flesh is your vice will you not drown in the darkest waters as I have so easily drown within you.?

Her  love was a fix.
Her passion reeked of ****** and I fell victim as so many other's before.
**** me in pains plessure to erase my regrets she begged of me from the confines of a  already empty bed.

Nothing to fill the void.
May are darkness be shared my little girl .
Why can't you see the games never revolved around you but merely absorbed you as all the rest.

If only we understood the pains pleasure maybe as strangers we could **** as we do the ones best kept secret within hates plain sight.
I am the edge of the most evil design.
Poison your kiss and forever it lingers to this fool's thirst.

Have are  secrets simply grown into a existence all there own?
Carve are pleasures I see its passion deeply within your eyes
Tonight was a regret tomorrow a forgotten tune left to die as my soul apart.

Do we question are likes or simply take them as fools and allow them to fade?
My demon need's no slumber within my nightmares existence .
Sweetheart did you dig only to find a little fractured side of yourself?

Are lives are toxic I loved the pain you so easily did embrace as of leftover conquests sweat smells of truths we ourselves can no longer embrace .

The door is closed as the belt around your neck.
We together are poisons pleasure how tragic this night with others we did waste.

As misery always seems to embrace only regret.

Back roads like my image seem destined for only past reflection for ive burnt the image within the depths
of a dirrty song and a broken soul.
Track marks warm feeling can you embrace my day eternal and gather my sense for just one more write.
Can i hold it togather just for one more night?
Im sorry i cant speak within these confines lets give madness a manic spin in a shallow crowd.

As a dim lit room the wine will flow sangria's fire can you replace that which I no longer control?
It used to be freedom now it only is a action like some trained monkey or circus animal i know the routine but never do i thrive as once i did befor.

As for passion it's as dead as my voice that echos within this tomb.
Do you know what it is to die twice.?
I never did thirst for the norm and now im overwhelmed by rejection it's so very hard to run on junkies leg's.
Page I can only spoil your plessure for the well has went dry leaving only a fool with a tin cup to die of thirst beside you.

Another summers play ive passed more thoughts unwritten to a audience of stars .
When words dont connect there simply empty call's apon the wind.
But a fools  yerning is but a role and this play has been cast for another.

I hope you understand that which makes me only question in a paranoid late night haze.
The nightwatch no longer my own time has come for me to step aside.

Tangled up in the sheets man that was fun.
Yeah id stick around my darlin.
But the train's a waiting and so I gotta run.

Tommy  and Phil  will be at the dinner waiting with ready ear.
***** the coffee darlin.
I preffer a smoke and a beer.

The waitress sat staring at me as I sat lost
without a clue.
She said thought you had to leave town.
memories get hazy but she reminded me with a swift
kick oh **** darlin was that you?

Sometmes it's not so easy to recall.
Precious memories shared.
In a nightclubs bathroom stall.

Hey it was a perfect moment amougnst many.
Sure I recall your name.
It's Rebecca  Sandy  okay I wouldnt have guessed Kenny.

Sometimes it"s awkward  hitting  on a chick only to
have her reply but I thought we were threw.
Maybe i should lay off the *****.
Cause im really getting tired of asking
was that you?

She said .
"It's me or the bottle *******"!

I admired the view of  the door as it smacked her on the *** .
She hit the road and me I simply hit the bar .

Played some songs on the jukebox and didn't say a word to the folks around me .

Drank till I passed out and realized the **** storm I was in the very next morning .

She was gone and I was left here alone.

Without wheels and only a lone beer in the fridge .

Well no one ever claimed I was smart .

I wonder if she could turn round somewhere in Kentucky .
Pick me up a bottle then bring that pretty little *** back meet with a smile at the door.

Run into these open arms .

Embrace those lips and face those tears .


Then sit her down hand her the money and take my bottle and
tell her thanks before I slam the door in her face .

Whiskey heals all wounds .

And as for you my dear have a safe trip .

Sincerely


John

She yerned for more as the traces shown clear.
Yet another always seems to follow the last in the fire that leaves you numb.
And in that lost emotion is when she yerns for it most and the flesh is but a vessel left to bargain.

Track mark tragedy in a clear junkies view.
Pushed in vein taken from time often we exist only to fade from light.
The beauty now a trainwreck of what could no longer be.

In *** she travels from self only to drown in thought.
Maybe this time just for the fix.
Soiled thoughts the picture never paints a suicides face.

A addict was created a scar is past.
Futures dim lit regression ****** left in shadows still remain.

That feeling none can explain for how is it to understand death in lifes last thought?
Two lips togather leaves one ina dope sick splendor to thrive.
In the depths of a adiction is when to me love is least alive.

She ask's for more blood does glisten from arm.
It's gone a liars need must reply.
Why fade when you can catch a fix slumbed lifeless in a stall.

In the shadows we consume the shallow means to still linger.
touch of gold a dust of reapers skelton finger.

She cries to as a empty soul filled in a addicts thought.
Will it fade in sadness a broken thought is but a dreams half *** reprize.

Gonzo

Is often called a barroom poet slash outlaw .
Who's work has been featured in some mags that clearly do not care about good taste or morals .

When not living as a total recluse drinking his liver silly and watching ****, He often enjoys long drives by himself picking up hookers but enough bout his ex wife.


His short stories usually revolve around some demented ******* much like himself .

He currently resides in hell or as others call it North Carolina .
Where him and his dog share drinks and take turns being the designated drunk driver .


His work will probably give you a contact high or at least the clap.

Enjoy .

And stay crazy .

Gonzo

Let me teach you in the arts of deception
and the bitter way's of truth.

Speaking to the empty soul I knew
just the other day.
Cast outside the internal core we all can
never trust.

Liar ,*******,Worthless image that does appear as
my so called reflection.

Taught to hate and tolerated by fear.
Emptyness you've created a strange creature to
which ive chosen to erase.

No music plays in a films melodramatic score.
The credits wont run white over black.
As the theater crowd spills into the street.

I want to hurt only to know what it
is to once again feel.
No secrets in the souls darkest shadow
may I no longer conceal.

Broken souls shattred glass apon the
white sands.
Ive stared at the image.
Till I can no longer recall who I am.

The bitterness in pain shattred apon
the floor.
Only shards do remain.
Mixed with blood apon the floor.

When you know the answer then why wait for the question?
maybe it was just to make her squirm in that last sense of right I knew all that was wrong.
She knew it would hurt and so she avoidng the words.
Hiding her own happiness  to allow me my dellusion tinged misery.

At the table the candle slowley burned casting a glow only
causing the shadows to stir.
We spoke more in silence than in words.

My male ego feuding with itself.
Yerning to cause the pain that was already
eating at me  secrets  burn a hole in the rational mind.

You ***** I imagined yelling  causing only me to appear more of a fool than  I already was.
But the silence said it all.
Sliding the  drink aside looking into the eyes  i could never truley understand.

And in my loss i saw the beauthy and saw her emptyness
with me she would only know.
the moonlight reflected apon the water is but  a reflection
of what we need only look up to see.

It takes love to say goodbye.
as outside in the nights air  we needed that last embrace to
remind us of the emptyness  that we shared.

Into her eyes  I gazed as within her soul I spoke.
No false hope tasted within  that kiss.
As paths part life does change and the chapter is closed.

The happy lie tempted my heart as she vanished into
her life.
Perfume cast her scent as the pen kissed the page.
the ghost's off memory haunt me eternal.

But never was  is my life.
As my love yerns more for what her's could be.
  
The darkness my home  always tempted with the
promise of light.
Closed is that fragment of heart.
As the candle's apon the table slowley kissed the darkness
as trail's of smoke  trace the scene.

I knew it was over  befor  she spoke the final words.
But no matter the experience  nothing.
Prepares you for the  hell of waiting  for goodbye.

If I rewrote  the story and  somehow  are paths
did not cross.
In temptations fire.
We would only know the cold of others.

Freezing in the silent agony unable
to speak.
The statue remains its meaning  erased.

As into others we will seek.
The emotions we no longer share.
Alone I am now inthe isolation of many blank
stares.

The jokes are but a wall built to conceal.
All that I am.
That I could never reveal.

Use the substances  to keep you numb.
And let the voices  take you to another place.

Beyond the madness there lies
beauthy in pain.
And always truth.
Destruction breeds art.

I light up in a room of vacant stares
and empty lives.
To blind in addiction to know the other does exist.

In this den like some scene  from a ***** parlor from the west.
Ashes hit the floor  along with my pride.

This battle im losing with devilish glee.
All but nothing is left.
so in the shadows I confide.

To know more than the plessures  of  a nights  collision.
Twisted is the tangle   in the blindness of passion
it absorbs into the night.

Far beyond actions  and simple passion of a night shared.
The scent of  its plessure makes thoughts subside.
As she does tease the senses we are brought down
to  the ways of children begging for release.

To know passion and embrace the  moment
she will not understand.
Dreamers cannot fathom  its pure reallity.

Laced in love so ****** up from life.
Gentle  are the velvet edges tender as
the surgeons knife.


When it ends maybe tommorow it shall begin.
To feel it's fire only to be tormented by it's cold.

The beauty  of a violent release flustration
in arms of regret does reside.
The sounds of  echo of torments plessure.
The true voice we were so unwilling to admit.

As in the are madness  sanity  is but a glimmer of light.
As held tightley two bodies rest weary.
Cast a jaded view of love of a immortal  
apon this soon  to be forgotten night.

It's always in those moments of afterglows fade it all turn's to ****.
When silence is cut by razors of thought.
And what just happened finds way to guilt of another's regret.

Maybe we should find a place to go but maybe we should just take it for what it never was.
Broken dreams were built upon good intentions and I for one have to many
burnt bridges to cross this rivers distraction my dear.

I can't say I will share in nothing more than a action .
It's just not something I can do .

She listens in pain yet knows truth's seem less intrusive under passions spent.
There's no happy ending just a moments release.

I never promise what I can't even believe in myself.
I know emptiness  but sometimes the drunken bliss finds me weak.
Maybe tomorrow will change a hardened heart.  

Good thing I wont be here to entertain it's well intended lies.

A note slid underneath my door.
How marks on a page can crush the heart worse than
steel breaks the bone.

The oceans tide has come to take me away.
I dove twice as deep.
In laughter apon the first.
In regret of that which I could not grasp.
Glimmers of light lost in the waters depth cast
so far away.

Missed lines the old sometime must think young.
I found  hope on nothing's  promised embrace.
A ring of lies one moment of truth.

Remember  me for times  I can no longer attend.
Troubles untold  sometimes outside is easier than
A insiders view.

The cards werent  right and thoose at the table
knew a jokers laugh was a far off cry.
No words can be spoken in the emptyness
of loss for which there is no return.

A shore apart a heart jaded but always true.
no blame  is to be placed for a road must surely
one day end.

The words read last a souls release.
The tide must always kiss the sea.
A city of emptyness reflects all that is left
inside of me.

Stay  as was my plea.
Crazy how could anyone truley know the madness
that is seldom understood by even me.

Words apon a page ive traded ink for life blood
of my soul.
I left the note  unread.

As spiders cast webs woven of time.
Cold as the peace final rest to torment.
That is the barbwire  within my head.

It was time for a much overdue rest.
A co writter in life is better than apon the page.
Niether is my path no  hope as the clock
points to a dark hour shadows have returned to stay.

Heaven was mine for a moment.
Hell is more my style I  guess.
As in stories and legends im already on my
way.

Voices all speak within there own key.
Torment, addiction and isolation.
Are all thats left of me.

Well lookin back it seems i think little  somethin
always beat's a whole lotta nothin.
The road at night is a mystery  yerning to remain unsolved.

No direction sometimes  seems better than the reallity of
a dead in street.
Burnt out  from pills and *****.
A head that pounds with a steady rythym of
of past failures and false starts.

As in bottles we seek answers to the unasked questions
of the dammed soul and promising lie.
Four walls  a asylum  or a hotel of your choosing.

Last times regret cant match tonights need.
Burnt emotions frozen feelings.
A great  lie love is dellusion  a drug for the
junkies soul.

Cold even on a mid summers night.
I paint in colors of a doomed nature.
Void yet alluring to the naked eye.

Like a records unclear sound the flaws are what
make it true.
This writers  fire has all but faded.
I ask does that glass appear  half empty to you?

Coming outa the fog that was a steady binge I reailzed it had all
changed.
No longer was I the in demand writer but more like a sad cliff note
to a on going trainwreck.

People either stopped by to view the specticle or laugh at the
man who no longer was what they secretly hated.
The drinks but a old vice and my only true friend who held the
promise of my death.

The night befor had been a display of Gonzo like a vetran preformer
I played the role empty to myself yet the joke they did thirst to
know to see that spark and relive vision's of a burning fire.

To have the safe laugh with the old drunkard.
My eyes but a store window to a long since closed business.
I had become a human ghost town a walking monument to
the strange case of what used to be.

There taunts were clear hidden under a mocking yet sweet candy
covered lie.
tormented like a lion in a zoo who's rage if released would
make them run in sheer terror if only they could imagine the violence
that loomed in my thoughts.

But I just continued to extinguish that fire every drink
kept it at a dull smolder.

They wanted the image the walking joke not the truth.
like a burnt out ****** eventhough it killed me i still
craved that feeling of utter acceptance in the reality of it's
true rejection.

The road called to me as it viewed me as a lost love
who had fallen and was notning more than a sad parody
of a once brave yet now bitter soul.

The mystery of that last great journey still did awake me.
The heart is a highway it's road looms on into the horizen.
Hitting deadends and emotional near insane crossroads.

And I no longer was numb enough to take it's punishment.
Th scrapbook of my mind was full yet pages were added by the drop.

The final chapter waited.
But befor it's end it must be lived.

Alone I knew this was the last stand and only when you walk through hell do you understand how it feels to rest in silence.
A circus preformer left with only posters and trinkets to recall
thoose failed glory's.

One last battle still did wait.
All i needed was one last spark.
So began my trip from paridise to hell.

The words my guide the whiskey my fuel.
Insanity my old friend in battle.
And this semi thing called reality my willing rival.

As writers we thirst for perfection and all its beautiful destruction.
As for gonzo it was all down hill from here kids.

I dream of the summers apon a distant shore.
Visions of a paint by number life.
And old friends  I seldom  think of anymore.

In my mind I live in a world that does not exist.
As the smoke flows off into a night here I stand .
Dreams so endless apon my command .

Trying to mask my feeling's underneath a smile.
Another drink   cements the mask for only
a little while.

Ive tasted passion kept warm in sin.
Kept sweet secrets  acted as only friends.
Torment does linger from all ive kept locked within.

She can  be with him but is no stranger to me.
trapped in a game.
The soul slowley breaks of what can never be.

The clown must wash away the face paint
every night to so his sanity can remain.
That vessel haunts these sheets.
Calmness on the  cusp of a  life insane.

Im a madman to the  blind eye to this world
im forced to exist  to which to many give in.
My mind roams free.
As my soul  and true voice stays locked within.

As we pass time cast the shadow can you bare the light?

A cold breeze and warm thought times a ******* child we embraced

two misfits lovers of the moment sweetheart does it ever cross your thought's.



Time passes marked by the old clock on the wall.

my past is a thought fools seldom cast aside a good dellusion.

She was warm in arms that held emptyness so very well.



Songs no matter there heart must all fade.

Depth in the shallow watres of *** a reflex cant take the place of a life.

So she went a distant path but we still see that moment clear in nighst dark she cast my heart a moment of life in seconds of death.



Fall your burden to gather like kids outside a vacant lot.

***** the ghost's lets find some new demons to share.

Winter my mistress why must you  hang in thought like a tatred picture apon my thoughts wall?



Dust to gather in mind sniffed in the shared confines with a dark mind and easy lay.

No matter the price still we must pay.

Bitter  times and a moment will always fade the wind of kiss ice of my eternal storm.



A dead hero and a tight body to feed a eye's thirst lets sell are soul for some

spare change and a moment to ******* erase it all please lay in these arms and

hate for loves sake.



Lush spring brought me her snow bound canvas will the painters hand

ever remain  still  to create the perfect flaw.



Cracked ice soon we all must crash.

The honey my dear is always worth the sting.

please cast the eye's jaded in perfection befor you go.



One moment of devilish warmth befor winters passion must leave me to her always

promised chill.

Traces of day in sunsets past.
Life's destroy the  painting once bright
has faded at last.

She clings to a illusion for it's better than nothing she's known
so very  well.
Sweetest are the confessions in the shadows we do tell.

Forward in movement still somewhere im left behind.
Goodbye in thought the highway calls yet the chapter is
far from done.
Summers of reflection love as a child when gentle was thought
endless was the innocent fun.

Im not the man that should see the finish happy fairy tails
bleed my dreams.
Glimmers of greatness burn fast in failure  it seems.

Broken souls cast south  tonight we share moment
I have to erase.
Confide in the emptyness collected hopes in a distant angels face.

Fools are many but a loser's path is best walked alone.
A empty court vacant is the kingdom inwhich I hold the throne.
Lesser the man who's never known the start.
Gone are my words.
As I speak empty  mind from a jaded heart.

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a ******  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.

In words I can embrace you only to destroy all in flesh.
Are torments shared often compare are we not flawed my dear in love and charmed in life?

My monster of ego knows no weakness except the tears of your eyes I'm so sorry for the man I've become from demons I've cast we couldn't bare the flame yet in this dead of winter may we know are warmth.

Those eyes that I've seen fade now spring still my hearts wraith are the nights now colder alone or is my emptiness to much to bare?
Scars I have traced upon the flesh never mend that of this emotional drain you are that which I can never be .

You know the man not the image and I see through the past to what's of a bitter sweet embrace we have stood as enemies and loved as immortals.
A sunsets reprise often is the deepest sadness for in pain I see the beauty so few ever cared to know.

I am a villain to most and simply John to you.
Are roads cant be imagined yet I never would cast aside the wreckage for another to replace .

We understand what so few could ever fathom.
Together we are addicts of the abyss sometimes you realize the darkness brings far more comfort than the light .

I whisper to you in this night gentle for only you to hear.

Little girl do you grasp all that I can never say in words?

To most I am a monster but to you I am only John.

Innocence cant never last.
In the presence of hate it's a ****** up web we spin when the only victim stands myself.
Come on it isn't so bad the repulsive stain never can we erase.
We are flawed and I just a scar left to bleed do we not understand now after I tell all?

Goodbye sweetheart hello institution at thirteen .
The reality would not be pleasant may I interest you in some lies to soften the truth?
What did I do?
A mother questions and fails to see.

We blind are selves to the answers keep it locked away.
Busted knuckles and a failed suicide attempt.
Were we not the victims of age cast in cells of misunderstanding my dear child
please never do as me.  

The ***** masked it well but your image only further inspired my hate.
Give it all till they see the truths.
Paper cuts are pleasant to the **** I've endured.

It haunts me a relict of a distant nightmare will I ever cease to wake.
I wish only I could say what haunts me .
But you only sent me away.

The past is a real cancer.
So erase it before it destroys you as me.

I spoke to you in whispers
but you shouted out my shame
My confidence is now just splinters
I can no longer speak your name

At dawn the sun broke my mask
I wore to dance to your tune
Now I'm just a broken mess
for you look down upon as your due

Can we never hear the music again
that was once our beating pulse?
Why is it you're always the one
that sings more quietly than most?

While we blind ourselves
we simply drown with the tide
Echoes of the past reflect only the failures and so shall it always be

Tomorrows promise is a kiss of remorse
just the same, we shall part
Can we leave what was only,
to pretend what never will be?

As you pull me from the depths
I simply leave you waiting
The nightmares will fade
but will the dreams ever again ring true?

So why do we dance to the same old tune?
When the music goes away
do we simply just nod to each other
knowing there's no other day?
At midnight do we excuse ourselves
to slumber separately with our demons?
Or do we simply hold onto
each other
to survive through the next season?

I taste the goodbye upon your lips
I hear our song slowly fade
Can you not simply follow me
to the shore
where new memories could be made?

In bittersweet reprise is our closing
Here do the credits role
Tonight is a moment and it bleeds the memories
Soon only to be pages from our past

Paint this moments portrait,
and stand back, not see the flaws
It is all in the illusion after all

Except for, in the grains of sand
upon which we danced
are the footsteps of our past
just washing away
Do the pages just turn on?
Because if you asked me in the beginning
I would have told you I didn't dance
But you grabbed me and started swaying
without me having a chance
to tell you I can't hear the music
I just move to a certain beat
The illusion is the only thing
that will move me to my feet

Isn't it after all, the flaws,
that will crack
and we will tumble
You may walk away singing,
while I still fumble with the illusion that we danced so pretty
under a fractured moonlight
While I tried to hold onto you
upon a tortured shore
You walked away from me
Leaving me in the dark of night

It's a feeling passed down from generation to generation.
That old poetic sense of the sea and the men doomed to fall to her powers.
I see it's signs upon the sky but make no attempt to retreat .

A storm like no other is bound to hit and in it's approach I only pour another and wait for it's wrath.
Doomed souls often laugh at there demise yet I prefer a smirk  and dead silence.
I cant stop it and honestly I've grown to tired to run.

Why avoid the jaws of the tiger when you can embrace the wings of a dragon?
And that vice I have chased far to long.
Collapsed veins and cold showers shock no longer fix the solution so why not
just say **** it all instead?

Your no longer the shark amongst the fish my friend your more the forgotten fool
bound for the depths.
Have I lost it now gone to far that the surface is but a dream I've lost in nightmare's
far to long to recall.

Don't look for warning signs simply look my way and understand.  

There's a limit one can only push so far .
I view the storm upon the horizon  yet I will no longer run.

For one last stand is not in my cards.
But I'm dam sure up for one last round.

As from the window a gentle breeze did ask the struggle.
Why must we linger to pain apon winds we shall cast.
Dust of sunset tears of goodbye.
Cast the shadows none left as I.

A rewind of childhood a still frame of my time.
Often I smell the rain one more is a tease please take all yet leave me this.
Direction without map turns by insticnt and vision we embrace.


Moments left apon a clock almost struck.
Sunsets we'll chase togather again.

No answers to all but so many to question.
Often I see now turns have passed.
As to sea and of shore.
I bask here nevermore.

A roads end and farwell view.
I think it was far to short.
Now it's been handed to you.

Traces were there yet still we danced in wreckless thought.
Vain as children now ghosts to page.

Give me one for I bleed many with thought.
Past images of watercolor now erase my
colors reprise.

Sometimes  you realize theres never such thing
as enough.

Sweet darlin known only to me.
You hide in the shadows.
And dance on empty floors so others will not see.

You hang onto words empty as your heart.
And cast aside  all who care.
For there is no heartbreak if you never start.

You wrap yourself in lies and so freely twirl.
I wonder does anyone ever truley see.
My invisable girl.

once she was there only to vanish a little at a time.
I new the person.
More than a simple ryhme.

We loved and lost.
Shared a pain  and suffred the cost.

As we live more like ghosts in a empty shell.
I wonder In your isolation.
I pitty whomever thoose secrets you tell.

Like a old cat beside a fire into a emotional ball you do
curl.
I wonder  if ever you will return my invisable girl

Pills' partys  the last seven years washed unclean.
Streets  now empty past there prime and looking
to score.
Ive lived till the edge is dull.
I sit knowing theres nothing more.

Are we as ****** up as are parents befor?
The answers passed down are but secondhand
mistakes.

As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad.
My eyes blind yet still able to see.
My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape.
Hope is but  sweet dellusion not ment for me.

When the flame is gone darkness signals the change.
fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul.
To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage.

No life  is a end at its false start.
A chord lost in time.
shadows I chase to there darkest end.

Laughter  hides the so clearly seen.
Hate take's my passion as time take's my
story the final verse to share with none.

Im the ******* of a stranger I know well.
He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release.
Dying in seconds  counting hours.

Killing the drug  strangles my air.
A painter never shows his thoughts.
Just covers his canvas.

Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure.
As in days I will embrace the emptyness
you no longer  control.

Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes.
The time 5:oo am  strangers will take the story
rewrite my past.

Lie's  are a freedom I no longer need.
Goobye's a return's promise.
I can no longer say.

Im exhuasted  yet I know its best to fill
the page.
But that southern breeze will  now be my home.

In sunsets i hope you see what never was.
Charm of a maniac  the sense of a legend to never be.
Darkness I wish i had shared tears  are the taste
of a talent  that never was me.

the glass is empty.

For thoose of you who may not know.
Just call me gonzo I write the absurd for life is insane and sometimes
it takes a madman to speak the truth so very clear.

I write for the broken vacant faces that have lost all hope.
To the dreamer who's well is slowley running dry from everyone
telling him to stop wasting his time.

I write like a endless highway fueled by whiskey and wild women
every adventure leads to pain but life is pain and i love in spite of it.

I thirst for every unseen mile the desert my brother it's people dwell
in the spirt of the west the ***** parlors and brothels spirt still linger.
I write with a hint of danger and a promise of disaster.

Im a blues player whos trying to out run the devil.
Im a outlaw riding to cross the border a woman looking to the
empty range for my return.

I write because I breath in a world were the creative air has gone
stale.
The bottle sits apon table and I welcome any strangers company
I just rather that stranger be a warm woman instead of a
unfriendly amigo who is a little jelouse.

Write to be more than just part of the highways landscape.
Some may call me crude crazy insane some even ****** and
liar and thief.
But aside from thoose compliments.
No matter what you may call me.
Dont ever forget to just call me gonzo.

Friends one with whom I shared a drink.
Are now ghosts  who haunt my heart dear.
Most left to find that which in life they did thirst.

But with seasons  I did remain like some old pillar unable to
move.
Feet planted  tears caressing a bitter face hiding
the fact that  goodbye had come all to soon.

Cards underneath my door.
Unfamilar faces make me question do I exist anymore.

Old passions destroy new flames.
Nights alone cast shadows.
You find more comfort in dreams  

The whiskey that burns is all that reminds.
You haunt this body  like a vacant building  
most seem to ignore  as  they pass its once warm  
structure.

My soul knows midnight my heart emersed in the
agony of truth.
We yern for warmth in the comfort of pain.

Memories are like scars  a prison of the mind.
Greetings from outskirts.
For I am the at home with the left behind.

Like a character in a novle ment to entertain  im
lost in the back pages of life.
But if you ever question  just turn back in reflection.
For they may have fled but im sill here.

If i held you apon the ledge would fear
ever drift into your heart.
Waves crash below salt kisses the wind.
Far from this  madness we do depart.

The storm outside brings it's cold
casting doubts with fear.
ligthing flashes giving light to useen places.
Thunder crashes you question the voices you hear.

locked behind doors kept in a wooden box atop
the fire place.
He removes the mask
To reveal only to the darkness his true face.

Within the flames exists the ash of
my troubled past.
Ripped sails.
Dreams of light cant exist under skies overcast.

A single moment can be the breaking straw.
Whats left of the lion.
does reside in the cats paw.

A ghost to these sheets this
bed I no longer haunt.
A waltz at a forgotten balll.
Underneath the arm of another was it only to flaunt.

Dark circles under eyes.
Trapped in this hell I despise.
the midnightoil burnt on through the day.
Love conseals a promise that your heart does betray.

Echo's in darkness
to all but strangers I do confide.
Bleeding within in the emptyness my
true self does reside.

I watched her dance across the empty floor for no reason just her own simple pleasures  and to simply show she was alive .
The music loomed heavy and she flowed with it a lover lost in its power.
Often we find solace in moments others dare not to intrude .

I said nothing just stood a viewer to this scene .
A fly to the wall with a ever fading drink.
She made me forget as she seemed to forget all as well.

I thought of the ocean and my times long since past .
The nights I sat by the seawall and viewed the ships like ghosts silent anchored off shore..

Friends whom no longer breathed life and painted my thoughts with stories .
She made me recall how being alone truly felt .

The music faded she was no longer there.

It was the close of a Saturday night  my dreams had long since died .

Maybe we are all fools for trying when the deck is stacked against us.
Letting the time pass and are bodies go.

But then sometimes when in the moment with that music
you just have to allow yourself to flow.

I never could recall her name the dream never allows you the grace of
understanding.
For once I slept well through the night .
A vision of my desires kept me warm.

As the sunrise and reality soon brought me back.
One day I did hope it would  
just allow me to go.

I lingred upon the edge as early morning and no replies have found a truth only the darkness can grasp.

Pills taken and hours spent the moment won't matter as it all is forgotten just the same.

In chased chords the tune clings to the heart if only I could do the same.
We saw the ending and now it is I whom stands alone.

They are all false truths were told the high so vast when you come down they will all judge you just the same.

I am a space taken and nothing more.
You played in the shadows and found the depths not shallow as you hoped it to be my dear.

We shared vices and nothing more
To you I say good riddance.
And a sincere *******!.

Why bury the past when you can allow those demons to run free?
Push it a little further and embrace the decay.

You probably won't be shocked when you hear.

Course you know what they say about opinions.


And a space will be available soon.

It's always when the magic hits that blissful ****** up buzz I'm alone in the bar putting up the stools up closing down as usal.

I always have one behind the bar light a cigar just soak in the silence .
It's then when it all comes back in a flood to me .

The faces of those passsed my brothers.
I pour a shot of borbon for them each.
Always making mine a double .

I imagine there laughs the bad jokes and great conversations we no longer share .

William always playing the jukebox that trademark laugh that could light a room.
Bob Warren cracking people up hitting on the women he was a one man sideshow and a old vet.

Bone .
My closest brother the guy who ****** everyone off and always made me laugh .
We'd talk for hours kick back the drinks and torment everyone around us.

Cause if we didnt **** with you.
We truly didnt give a **** about you.
I had burried them all as alone now i stand .

The smoke hung in the air as i saw them all and for a moment i wasnt alone.

It always hit hardest on nights like these .
The women will all leave you .
Love is a fire that burns beyond are control.

But the memories are the tressure bury them deep only to dig them up when you are alone .

I drank each shot as one by one they vanished from sight.
I do not believe I can bury another .

I guess in all truth I hope the next is me..


I closed the door locked it behind me the air outside was frozen.
My breath shown on the walk home.

I was alone .

Sometimes the page is far more simple than reallity of this existence.
I'm glad to have shared one last round with friends .

We can write the ending.
But life always seems to see it a different way.

Cheers

Gonz

Rain cant wash a twisted soul clean.
Miles still leave me nowhere bound.
In words I found a home now vacant in thought.

Even the best slip to the worst places over time.

Days are becoming a blur as nights waste my thoughts.
Speaking of things that are beyond a goal
in a long winded , lossers scrapbook of bitter end's.

Will they notice what I will never understand.
Ernest saw  it first your sea was becoming yet a
shallow pond of misery.

And that same old thought eats away the mind like
a cancer.

Caught in the fade do the lights burn brightest?
Or will drunks just pour thoughts like whiskey
into the glass.

Im there now.
Dying in dreams only to exist
in past stories of new chances.

The what if's are ******* kids.
No matter the road you choose.
Never regret a second.

I cannot say it wont be missed it's simply my soul much like the piano has long since been out of tune.
A half herd chord and a bruised liver wont **** the memories .
Maybe another round with a bitter pill chaser will do the trick that never
felt so desolate until right now.

Maybe some can take comfort in shadows I've found them strangers
for far to long tell them I said goodbye before are words shall be taken from context.
Lets just  exist in these lonely hours once more.

Can I borrow your hearts one last time will we connect as friends or vanish as smoke rings a display to magic and a old fools logic .
Can you play me that song and leave out the ending we see fit to declare .

Will you hear me last as I speak my words nothing was are destiny,
shall we dance to the tune long after the music's fade to people in form of a portrait and nothing more tonight?

I have ran miles now I simply rather sit here alone with you.

I'm not putting it down simply putting me first it's been far to long so sorry if you cannot grasp.

no hidden message need poison the pen for my words have always rang true to those whom understand.

The music fades as so must we all one seat a place not to be removed
what we cannot grasp so easily replaced .

The lights have went dim and the ghosts leave to haunt there corners of existence as so must I.

The bright sky after the storm.
The rains smell washed clean.
confessions of the innocent gentle and forlorn.

As in visions we seek the a place beyond
what others can claim to have seen.
As the view does vanish.
we reflect apon its perfection as is
caught within a dream.

Hands of ice thoughts as stubborn
cast in stone.
To bitter to admit the pain
So prison from a view unknown.

In a dark landscape there may exist light
over the next ridge but who will journey to see.
It's a choice we must make to try and fail
or wallow in misery.

Children dream without limits so why should
we stop with time.
Age effects all like the pages
of a book of rhyme.

We dream so long only to marvle to the
monsters weve grown.
Thoughts for sale are a mystery.
from this view unknown

I sit in darkness, soaked in Gin, I remember everything,
except all the things Tequila forgot,
I remember nothing except for the things left to rot

I forgot the darkest nights
most certainly in days light
I forgot you placed the drink in my hand,
is that how we ended up here last night?

A half empty glass we have mired our delusion dear
Do the stories just get better or do we simply fill in the blanks?
Trace our old lines again and again.
Weathered are my eyes behind a mask
It’s no place to breath but anything beats the grave.

As we recall the sunset from the shore it seems so far now
it is but a fraction of the truest sense and the most cursed fools delusion
a switchblades sting and you will remain my favorite scar?

Delusions are illusions with which we fool ourselves
with a magician’s eye and a sense of skill.
Sunsets upon a distant shore are our memories
retreating against our will.The switchblades knife is rusty and it's only hope is to scar.

Do you revere or revile me?
The empty bottles that lay between us ask for little.
I ask us for more!

Will I be your scar, the one you rub when you’re alone?
Tracing lines that cut so deep but set rigid, like stone?

Perhaps the open wound you created
when you picked apart our past won't heal as quickly,
and like the final drink we had together won't be our last.


Painted is the portrait so far from the truths we all choose to ignore
and now I simply understand are regrets than the echoes of a shared view.

When we break the heart do we find solace in a statue like existence?
We all spill the glass sometimes and a candles view dim will only reflect the shadows we've become.

Tomorrows a dream and the nightmares become a friend far more than this dance
I care no longer to stand and the ice won’t bare the weight of this ego's crash.

Let's skate the ice so thin it cracks beneath the weigh of pain.
Let's dance the tango of wilted dreams and find no shame.
Let the broken heart of shattered glass
be a reminder of our pain
but you and I, we share a common lust
we mix silently, oil and water
blending in the same frame

For from the page to the far corners of this empty floor we have made our choices
Now we understand past regrets in silent reframe

Never doubt the passion for the lack of fire it simmers a volcano underneath the illusion of emptiness and so we find are paths twisted yet always brought back to the same point.

We always speak in shadows what is known in light of day.

Our paths are gritty dirt, pretty split and intertwined
broken cobblestoned nights and sun baked days to which we can’t deny
Shadows that come to play hide the demons
we would once talk to, but threw away
when we attempted to revive a life we weren't meant for
Our answers don't lay at the bottom of the bottle
nor do they rest behind the closed door,
They itch beneath our fractured skin and spill their secrets on the floor
dripping from serrated cuts that pump a life full of ****** memories
the broken bottle stands as sentinel asking always for
One More...
Please?

Maybe we found our muse in a mutual insanity.
Laid bare the vein I question what lingers when nothing remains beneath?

This last round stands only for the night my dear for its clutches are but a moments embrace and an overcast view.
Tomorrow I can never promise what fate hands us by surprise.

Insanity is a fickle Muse
that's sips from a collapsed vein
breaking bottles against skulls
looking for an idiot to blame

Personally I think our Muse
is a Mistress that flogs well in the dark
Chaining our souls to our demons
never shining light on our demise,
Demanding we whip ourselves hoarse
prying opens the oysters
of our murky world spilling pearls of stone into a world so stark

No, the Muse of you and I is an unruly *****.
She chokes our memories and forces our pain
with a flick of her wrist

I was half hung the **** over and feeling like total **** left to die.
The ***** was gone and the room looked like someone had set a bomb off in a ******* .

The phone rang out a ******* annoying *** banshee much like a Selena Gomez record sure everyone likes spoiled little ****** just not with the  sound on.
I answered the phone with all my southern charm.

What the **** do you want ! ?

There was a dead silence when finally a voice spoke on the other end.
Um MR Robbins  is this a bad time?
Well considering I haven't had a drink and my head feels like it was
hit by a plane nobody can find yeah sure it's a great ******* time.

Well MR Robbins the man continued on about **** I could care less about going through his whole pitch trying to sell me some over priced life insurance .
Yeah you got to love a paycheck you'll never see newsflash after I kick the bucket  I don't give a **** if you roll me up in a carpet and toss me in a landfill .

Well MR Robbins can we sign you up ?
I paused just to simply to hold up the works and make you the reader say where the **** is he going with this ****.

My friend I get this is your job but the only thing certain in this existence  is death  and I have far better things and strippers to waste my money on than a fund  for  when I kick the bucket .

Sure I could put money aside for a time I wont enjoy it, yeah and I could settle down get married become a regular dude who works his *** off till I retire to sit in a recliner **** myself and watch commercials about pills that'll give you a stiff **** and so many ******* side effects you'll do everything but glow in the ******* dark.

There is no ******* promise of tomorrow kids so live your **** off today and **** the future we can only know the present.

I slammed the phone down and poured what was left of a dead solider in a pint glass .
It was bitter and almost warm and as I chased it with a good cigarette
and thought to myself  as the jukebox came to life .

Dam I sure hope that was a beer if not someone probably needs to go to the free clinic .

Stay crazy hamsters .

Gonzo

Days slip by with remains of my emptyness cast aside like bottles apon a vacant highways path.
How often had I found little comfort in the arms that knew nothing and only lingered for
payments often underpaid  in moments best left to forgotten like nights of youth kissed in
a lovers lipstick called regret .

Sometimes it takes a good demon's  burn to pull your head outta the cloud's.
And in these empty highways reflection often i'd found little more than rest stops
and regrets to fuel my anger and true sense of I dont give a ****.

Faces of a blank canvas heading toward new horizens and bitter end's.
Children lost clinging to people more clueless than there youth cast logic could bare.
No one's home in the lost.'
Only found in the emptyness of a new destination.

I cannot say wear I became such a heartless soul.
Only point you towards another route and send you off to find something
that would resemble a traggic play called happiness.

A broken down machine shook  by  other's in hope for a free treat.
Some just for the hell of seeing it swerve ive long since learned to respond
in a stock sense like some robot no true thought  left in my blackend soul.

Dark roads spread like snakes across tatered highways soon to be forgotten by all.
Rest stop ahead one mile.
We gather a lost audience with a shared flaw.

Tired of travel some drenched in life.
Togather we gather in seconds as soon we all do depart.

I cannot say ive spent the time only to erase it in vain.
But a highway is a womans love never returned only taken we no
longer feel the desire to give.

In darkest hours of mornings soon to be aproaching light I sit watching
the lights chase off into the distance swallowed into a never seen again void.
So many chasing dreams others just chasing a new stage.
All of us headed towards yet another dim lit destination.


I always dread my return.

We sat there drinking baring are souls and cutting through ******* one drink at a time.

I never hung around other writers I wasn't  a people person to begin with.
Silence was its own company .
And a man who could hold court with it and remain sane was stronger than most in a crowded room.

We poured the drinks and spoke of everything aside from the page.
To generals seldom give away secrets to there success or in are case the lack there of it.

Are scars were are own and my friend knew enough that we simply held court and stared  at a woman bent over the jukebox.

Some lines are not written but are simply perfect enough as is.

We sat there till we closed the place down and vanished back to are own worlds .

We were wolves to the hunt all the same and are paths seldom crossed again.

Sometimes you howl into the night and somewhere from the depths the night howls back.

Sometimes its good to know another runs the same as me.

Broken down more than I care to confess.
old roads and sweethearts of the moment the taste of bitter ends goes good with a bourbon and coke .
Blowing smoke rings across the room of some run down dive it's all part of just being me.

Tomorrow I will find good use for dark glasses and a  one time call.
I'll see you in a week sugar I'm doing fine and other well intended lies just part of the drive .

Some good laughs and better drugs does it ever grow old boys?
I cant say it does but I dam sure have to late to turn back now.
A blues chord and some broken strings was it ever a choice for the gentle were never intended to understand one as perfectly wicked as me.

I been running taking shelter with whomever I can find .
Photographs of my thoughts like perfume that lingers only within my mind .

It's another journey ahead and some laughs between the vices yearn maybe it's just the urge to know we still feel a ******* thing at all are simply fuel to still make that page bleed .

Maybe you can share I have to many secrets so I guess I will just listen
with a drink in hand .
Moments last lifetimes cherish that place in which you can confide.
As the arts in the phases scattered cross dark corners and a shared embrace.

I have fallen from the mountain only to find myself on the other side again.

Watched friends fade and I still hold them true I drink with you even in your absence ****** the good will always keep my blind to the ****** up **** I no longer recall .

We run until the sunsets fade to repeat again .
Dust to bones forever the fool and always a fast friend.

I have survived it still I care to ignore the sign .
For that highway echo's something a promise can never truly deliver .

I'd stay here longer but  the devils always only seconds away.
Maybe one day I will stop or maybe just hang around long enough to stick him with the tab.

Cheers Gonz

Down  by the water

Ive been here so many times broken hearts and many old wounds that never heal.
It's so hard to admit when you hate the person you are.
When catch that dream to relize its a nightmare by design.

Why cant I just break through it why cant I just get past the demons of dessire and cleanse
myself of the sin inwhich I seem to thrive?
Honestly suicide looks better by the second.

Im losing it yet still i linger like some sad prize fighter who's
taken one to many a blow.
I yern to destroy who ive become only to find who I could actully be.
Im a man who cant seem to think past vice.
A wornout joker who's fallen this time for good.
**** this nightmare please help  ive lost befor I even began.

Burn the memory till it scars my thought **** please stop this !
Im losing yet ive grown to jaded to care.

As in the tears light does escape in the darkest fear.
Pleading in silence yerning for the  departure of  my soon
lost  mind.

Why we we must travle a road only to see it's end.
The path unsure requires a steady broken soul.
My emptyness know great depth.

A game of  life  a promise of death.
Behind laughter pain does exist.
Another night escapes me one of many regrets.

The wind a companion the road a void of nights
gentle embrace.
Ive searched for a reason tangled in the traps of
agony's plessure cast dellusion.

A snow globe heart  awaits its fatal dance
with the floor.
In the arms of passion  we feel the wrath of
times  bitter  truth.

I am the clowns  washed clean face.
Ive serched for a depth.
To find a poets soul ive found not a trace.

I struggle to resist.
She drops the glass as it breaks apon a slab floor.
No longer the clown do I see.
One pull and tommorows painting will be erased.
From a spark of pure creation and a fatal destruction.

Into a night  a end of my choosing.
Maybe we knew the past was soon to be are end.
Heart's like all things bleeding easily betray.
For only clocks and urns apon the mantle were ment to stay.

In choosing this path it sets a page blank.
Allowing many to read that which  was never seen.
In darkness the mystery leaves little light.

So as we toast to a suicide.
The trigger is pulled.

A ****** up sesibility is matched
only by a cryptic verse.
As in chains we exist trapped in soul
lost within the mind.

Sunsets in red  oceans of  passions failure
no longer free   to the laugther trapped within
my head.

The soon to be  forgotten fade.
As in the depths we chase demons  of are own creation
shallow  in thought.
Washed in tommorows legend  and  dried
by reallty's ever changing truth.

I cast my words away like children cast stones over dark waters on a summer's sunset soon faded.
Torn between a direction none with many promises of hope but surely chaos in hand with devil's grip.
One is never good enough and twelve is but a taste of a speeding train soon to derail.

My message is a as murky as the  air that swirls in his barroom of empty ness I call my existence.
Tortured genius and drunken buffoon often share drinks of a sandy nature in an oasis of torment.
Beaten in thought and charred in reason I'm seldom at home in this crowd.

Stones that skip often no matter the distance sink into the dark waters
of empty ness.

We are moments shared in logic of other's shattered in fragments.
No attempt seems to clam my efforts only drown my hope.
It's written upon the page will you ask or simply ignore ramblings in
a staged tragedy. I seldom seem real.

Stones were once part of boulders aborted by mountains.
So after the fall what is left but fragments?
Maybe I'll pull it together if only for a moment.

I'm slipping in sanity and drowning in the depth of a hollow existence mocked by my own words
like a prisoner left too long within the hole.
I shout only for my voice's comfort.

To long I've rambled I've begun to sink.
A sunset's embrace is but a epitaph of envy in a gravediggers diary and I am but a blank page.

Never fear losing a friendship due to the ******* that is known as truth.
I have been alone I have been with many and I have been with you.

We can dance in avoidance of pain masking are emotions only for so long.

I see it in your eyes and if you were a book my dear I would linger upon every page .

I could tell you its simply a friendship but I never ******* anyone let alone myself .

I know what it is and sweetheart so do you we didn't seek it cause the best kind of poison is made of the sweetest desire .

There's not a night the thought I do not entertain .
As we know separately the direction is best shared together as one .

I have no words besides what your reading now .
And these will be the blood of my soul I cast of dark magic in efforts of reaching out to you .

The key is yours and we know our truths so believe what you must to get you through another empty night .

We know what this is and I simply wait to know what's under the cover so stop the game and simply allow me to read every line that lay between .

No longer at desk the typewriter has been given
it's final rest.
As he cant recall the day or year.

The once strong mind is closed the body
but a museum or tribute to what once was.
he his home but locked within himself.

Vist's from thoose who once knew the man
are like people viewing a body at a wake.
he calls from within the shell for for release.

Yet his lips will not move his voice never sounds.
Inside he burns for the chance to run as the river
chases the sea.

To be the man they never knew and the one he
could admire and both despise.

The page sits in typewriter like a willing
eager lover in bed.
Waitting in stockings that cling to delicate thigh.
the tears escapes it's minds prison.

He thirsts for it like a drunk for that morning drink
of whiskey waitting hands held togather trying
to keep from shaking.

He sits as a painter without hand.
watching the most beautiful sunset fade without
a chance of ever capturing this moment.

The ink is drying he feels it everyday.
Soon he hopes like the dust that does gather
he will be swept away.

We almost found it somewhere through are addictions and abuse.

Where the young and delusional tread we walked a path of broken glass and razor wire .

Bled the emotions for all they were worth than killed it in a second  now only I concern myself with a past you erased with miles between.

Maybe you let it seep within alone in moments none others may see .
But a fool's hope is all there is of me and you desired  the separation .

My time is not long for here as I do everything to destroy myself .

I question why I linger then think in death there won't be another fix.

I have embraced the scene while you have rewritten the act .

Let's ride like once before the miles ahead and the razors edge a promise and nothing more .
we lived in eight where most only exist in thirteen .

A ring , A bruise, A scar and a sweet once passion filled kiss .
Was it are love of one another or just a love for the chaos .

Nobody walks away unscathed from this dance .

I wonder if ever do you recall the past as I?

And the lights will soon dim upon this scene .

Never pen your dreams on me for my thoughts are embers of a once ever so bright fire.
Tatters of thought bury the recluse now they simply confide in me a lost fool who truly never gave a **** to begin with.

The fighter that's tried and worn his body broken his will the only thing left that he holds true.
When you have drown in your vices from this bottom will you emerge or simply settle for a good rest ?

past glory and worn lines my story is a cliff note to the ******* the will imagine .
Empty bottles and the scars to show the rroads end and all is left to return.
When they break you they will simply find another kid .

And life will pass you by as it has me.
Watch the patterns only to break the rules no outlaw fades easily.
And the sad old men we've become isn't a scene I care to relive much longer.

Nobody will be surprised for it been long overdue but I could never exist on another's terms.
I rather crash and burn than fade gracefully I am sorry to disappoint
but the hand was **** to begin with kids .

It's not always the way we see it but In life do we seldom write the ending.
Maybe the page understands me far better than I understand myself anymore .

Maybe.
Well when you get there as I you wont envy the others only realize the roads been paved long before your words where nothing g more than whispers .

Bury your ego for it has nothing to gain.
I view the highways end a different man than the young fool who cast his cares to the wind.

It's time to bury mine .

Spun from tracks a one way Outlook seldom lends to a bright vision  escape.
I've come to grips with the losing side counted hours borrowed change.
Where it all ends at sunset even beautiful is simply a passing moment all too soon forgotten.

A needles sting in long sense forgotten fire, cleansed of existence and newly paved highway lent to a dead-end mindset may the ******* glorify this moment!
For shallow truths seem to vanish in contemporary romance of addiction.

A window seated view to the trains derailment is a one way trip not worth the mention?
Embers of the spark have long since become outcast of the fire.
Tonight I only need to connect in the worst way possible, can you spare a moment only to cast it in regret?

Art is easy life is not the page simply an afterthought of our existence.
Never cast in stone what would never take to mold to begin with.
I never linger on others mistakes for I have far too many flaws of my own.

To head off the rails is not to find solace in the legend, merely a side effect of life lived by the sword.
We glorify the mistakes of others only to forget our own.
The cast judgment and yet another bitter pill.
How very tired of become of the scene.

Maybe we embrace chaos only to chase some semblance of distorted peace.
Maybe there was really no plan at all to begin with.
We are the after effects of the wreckage left to be viewed far better than we truly ever were.

A snowfalls mirage hides only with season, nothing shall stay buried forever.
Captured a image and hold it closely .
Say hello to delusion for me art was never intended to be safe.

Off the rails was it's direction there is no glamour in an untimely fade.
The intentions are always pure just somehow everything gets ****** up in the end.
Remember it as you like.

We all thrist for passion and desire the lust.
From the stage it's a strange connection between the music
and the female form.

For years I sat  the party creator sixteen  full of want and no clear direction.
Tight skirts the light caresses every curve.
So eager to be jaded and happily used.

My school of beautiful corruption and thoose
Ladies so eager to teach.
Love far from mind the time of change toys left
behind.
New vices soon to replace.

The bar my sanctuary  the stage I was invisable in
plain site.
Laughter is my love   the party my soul.
Sin my  eager vice the perfume to my devilish mind.


***** and no worries about the following day.
I fell in the life a happy  fool.
Blind to the  vision of the one way street.

Just a kid lookin to hitch down hell's highway.
The noise the sweat the blood given  to perfect
strangers in the key of night.

Those beautiful forms sway in a seduction
tremble at the unseen hand.
The nights direction was always  at my command.

Outside the night went from everything to
emptyness of the ordinary.
They went there way my feet back on the ground.
For I gave then a mental release  victem to a sound.


Moments turn to tears the jaded forget all to soon.
But I remain the party  never ends.
Faces fade forever into the night.
Direction  points elsewhere.
Habits and addictions  *** and  and the abstract
scene.

My road  leads  in many directions.
The crossroads  is but a one way street.
I see them still in the shadows.
Where the Devils and Angel's meet.

The sun was bright and the breeze was nowhere to be found.
I sat alone but that wasn't a bad thing.

The peace I needed was not what a average man desired .
Most of those I knew had lovers , wives, family's , jobs that paid well and destroyed there souls all the same .

I had no responsibilities some thought this wrong.

I had once had a woman.
I in truth had known the comfort of many.

I loved one she no longer thought the same.

I never settled for something else when I could have that which I desired .

I didn't know freedom we all have our boundaries.
But sometimes alone in the silence I knew a peace few ever could .

I had the page and that was good enough for now .

Now if only I had a cool breeze and a cold drink then you probably wouldn't be reading this.

For life is always best lived not written about.

This was simply a pit stop and nothing more .

Cheers.