Down  by the water

Ive been here so many times broken hearts and many old wounds that never heal.
It's so hard to admit when you hate the person you are.
When catch that dream to relize its a nightmare by design.

Why cant I just break through it why cant I just get past the demons of dessire and cleanse
myself of the sin inwhich I seem to thrive?
Honestly suicide looks better by the second.

Im losing it yet still i linger like some sad prize fighter who's
taken one to many a blow.
I yern to destroy who ive become only to find who I could actully be.
Im a man who cant seem to think past vice.
A wornout joker who's fallen this time for good.
**** this nightmare please help  ive lost befor I even began.

Burn the memory till it scars my thought **** please stop this !
Im losing yet ive grown to jaded to care.