We sit behind dull lit screens,
Pixelated faces; pixelated dreams.
I wish you were here physically, my friend
To snuggle with, to hug, to laugh with, and to kiss...
"Fish lips!"
Until our paths cross again at your parents house in November.

I am thankful for technology.


© Jo Tomso

You sit at the table with your blue and yellow crayons
Quietly coloring tigers and waving the fingers of your left hand.

You proudly show your decorated notebook; the one you alone created.
Safety plans, behavior charts, conflict resolution, and coping.

You're asked if you understand rules and regulation,
The look on your face as you color a second tiger purple, tells me different.

Searches coming and searches going looking for sharps.
Supervision daily, hourly, minute by minute
How then, can this be self-harm?

You sit in the van with your ninja turtles backpack
Quietly whispering, repeating, comforting words.

You proudly show your decorated notebook; the one you alone created.
Tigers, elephants, horses, cars, houses, and nostalgia faces.

You're asked if you understand stability and foster families,
The look on your face as you chew on your shirt, tells me different.

Days gone and months in this new place
You are doing so well, so great
Bedroom upstairs in the corner
All your favorite things have their space
Tell me one thing gained here?

Saturday Morning
Pancakes
Sprinkles, and
Maple Syrup.

© Jo Tomso

Good Morning
Good Night
Hello
Alright.
How much do we give?
          How much do we take?
Limitless
Powerless
Driven and empowered.

Hello
Goodbye
Yes or no?
Speaking words that dance rhythms
Circles, circles.
              Always talking in circles.

Suffocating in sin
Drowning in depression.
                   There is always a light.
When will you learn?
When does one just give in?
Seek help, seek a solution.
  
                   Fighting with the deepest monsters
Fighting within yourself
They say, snap out if it
Easier said than done.
Stand tall, stand tall, my friend
I promise, it gets better


It gets better.

© Jo Tomso

Beginning in 1963,
My Favorite Martian on vintage TVs
Instamatic 50s, capturing instant faces.
Elizabeth Taylor, and James D Hardy
JFK, and Magic Bullet Theory.
Go Away Little Girl,
Our Day Will Come,
Easier Said Than Done.
Surf City.

Remember that day in
St. Joseph, Missouri?
Sitting on the front porch
A boy with his guitar?
Music igniting his fire.
Lincoln Nebraska, to Minneapolis,
Where his story truly begins.

University and Limited Warranty,
Fatherhood, a family man.
Sun Shot Halo
Signal to Noise
Olivine.
Rising with caffeine.
Crispix and Bobby’s World
Little red television set
New Hope kitchenette.
Bedtime routines
Beverley Hillbillies Theme
And of course, The Hobbit!

This is the life he chose,
Chasing those music notes
Daydreaming for daylight.
This is the life he chose
Brew Pubs and Rock N Roll
Well you know, it’s just how it goes.

His hands are calloused,
Weathered, and grown.
Saving vibrations and inspirations
An hour glass inside his bones.
Steady on the Timeline
Moving Things in the right direction
From Coast to Coast.
Columbia coat and winters freeze
One last drag on a Malboro.
Surly-Furious triggering the spark
Sing it loud and let the world hear,
Like a match lighting up the dark.

Coming down to earth now,
There is a little girl
Who he inspired to be all that she could be.
Remember King Olaf?
Thumb controlled airplane rides?
Bedtime PB&J;’s, Don’t forget the crust!
Boy Bands and car rides across the map
Backyard jams and the punk scene
Kids of the black hole, those patched pants!
Mosaic window panes illuminating her soul
Like the Phoenix of Legends
She Said She Could Save the World.

Silhouettes of who she ought to be  
All Along Screaming Save Me.
So many names and faces,
For a moment the chains fell away
Fighting for control,
But he would never let go.
She’s coming back from the hits
Escaping the jail cell that once held,
Her confidence.
Passion ignites from within her bones
Waldorf mind set
Willingness to be selfless.
Social Worker,
Photographer,
Warrior;
His Daughter.

Saturday morning bike rides
Father and Daughter.
The best moments in life
Kept inside picture frames.
Northeast artist scene,
The Matchbox, 331, Dusty’s, and the Slacker
Only in Old Minneapolis.

Throwing stones into the fire,
She knew she had won because
She inherited his heart;
So step out of the blue,
I want you to know
I Love You.

This is the life we chose
Chasing those music notes
Daydreaming for daylight.
This is the life we chose
Brew Pubs and Rock N Roll
Well, you know, it’s just how it goes.

© Jo Tomso

Today the sun shone,
Shone through you.
Tomorrow the waves crash,
Crash over you.
Yesterday the birds sung,
Sung for you.

Today the sun shone.

© Jo Tomso

Hold on
Georgie.
Splashed brunette
with
white letters
Locked for decades within his head.

12 years old he is,
White washed with rage.
Just a little boy,
drowning with shame.
Georgie;
He's an angry boy
An anxious boy
An abused boy
A scared boy
A kind boy.
Above all, a lost boy.
His world torn apart.

Hold on
Georgie.
Four square walls and two locked windows.
Mattress on the floor; all he has left.
Left in the world because
"Georgie wrecks everything."
Staff, they come and go
shaking their heads
However Ruby has stayed.
"You're going to be happier there Georgie, happier than you have been in a long while."
she tells him.
How much he wants to believe her; believe she is not scared of him. Believe she still loves him.

There must be more to life than this
She thinks as she dances with shadows in dark.
Vio-let vio-lent dripped monsters slither skin
She must dismiss the heaviness standing upon her chest.
She must dismiss the violence.

Divorce: she's in the middle of the fights.
School: she's in the middle of chaos.
Teacher: she's in the middle of grief.
Friends: she's in the middle of finding herself.
Mother: she's in the middle of dancing words drenched in biohazard signs.
Father: she's in the middle of watching his bags packed, out the screen door, "I love you."


Georgie,
She wishes she could be,
cared for by Ruby
even when she is angry
arms wrapped tightly around.
Safety.
Surrounded by something other than this.

Escape this mess.
Escape herself.
Pretending to be someone else.
Screaming loudly "Save Me!"

He's an anrgy boy
She's an angry girl
An anxious boy
An anxious girl
An abused boy
An abused girl
A scared boy
A scared girl
A kind boy
A kind girl
Above all, a lost boy.
Above all, a lost girl.
His world torn apart.
Her world torn apart.

Hold on
Gerogie.

© Jo Tomso

She said she could reach the moon
So she could steal the light
She just wanted to make it alright

So stand up tall my dear
Go ahead and take the blame
There’s nothing more to gain
So let the brick walls crumble
Let the walls crumble down

Lungs full of water
Slowly drowning
Can’t catch her breath
Can’t catch her breath
She hides her tears
To help you through
Inside she’s screaming

She said she could save the world
So she could **** the demons
She said she would find peace
To the end

So look back on everything
What do you see now?
A life in shambles
A life full of hate
Vengeance is everything
There must be grace

So stand up tall my dear
Spread your wings and fly
The world is beautiful
Keep your mind open

Eyes full of wonder
Slowly awakening
Finally can breathe
Finally can breathe
She writes
To show her pain
Are you even listening?
Are you even here?

She said she could reach the moon
So she could steal the light
She wanted to share the beauty

© Jo Tomso

Body exhausted
          Eyes
Falling asleep
           Going
60mph in the
          Rain.

Body exhausted
          mind
Falling behind
          little details        
          lost in time.

Floating
            Floating
                        Floa­ting.

© Jo Tomso

Dancing with the colors
Each year vibrant with growth
Oranges
Reds
Yellows
Blues
A memory of a beautiful place.
Nature walks and lantern creations
Pumpkin carved candles light up the hall.
Magic capes and fairy tales
Enchanted castles and cardboard houses.
Tea and story time, handwork, circus practice, and theater.
Music, main lesson, mathematics, english, history, all the academics.
Imagination, free play, and singing songs
Advent Candles and the Rose Ceremony,
Magnificent festivals and feeling free.
So much to give and so much to take.
Full with laughter
Full with wonder
Faces curious and willing to gain knowledge
Inside this whimsical colorful place.
Curtain draped windowpanes, comforting space.
A magical kingdom, a magical school.
Where children are allowed to be themselves: body, mind, spirit, and soul.
Welcome home.

© Jo Tomso