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 Feb 2018 Hailey James
April
Mental
 Feb 2018 Hailey James
April
Two different worlds
Two seperate skies
And only one that they can see

Inside my mind
When darkness falls
There is no other soul but me

Alone I pace
In deepest night
And no one takes my hand

To lead me from
My shadowed tomb
Where I am doomed to stand

Ah, pray for me,
Though kindness helps,
For only love can save me now

A lonely girl
Lost long ago
Who does not trust, and knows not how

Too often left
Though many cared
And no one saw the pain inside

That lonely girl
The happy mask
Was made so carefully to hide

But now it cracks
The paint wears off
And someone soon is bound to know

And steps will tread
The lonely walks
Where only I’m allowed to go

Perhaps at last
Someone will break
The wall I’ve built around my heart

But no one will
For all have eyes,
And I have been too long apart

And so, alas
For here I stand
A lonely girl in a shadowed land.
I do not want to get too attached
Latched onto this idea that you won't go
It seems my heart you've already patched
We're a perfect match, don't you think so?

You've emptied out the grief in my heart
I found a lost part of my soul
I'm embracing this brand new start
If you leave I'm afraid I won't be whole.

It's your companionship I crave
This relationship is what I need
Your kiss is the only one that can save
My lips from crying out with greed.

I want everything, the good and bad
And the grey area in between
I would try my hardest not to be sad
If for once you'd just say what you mean.

I'm in the process of being repaired
Filtering out what was once broken
I don't want my anxiety bared
Or my messed up past awoken.

Sleeping dogs are better off dreaming
There's no need to open their eyes
Since you've arrived my heads been teeming
With thoughts that buzz like wounded flies.

My only anchor is your voice
Tying me to the universe
With you it seems i have no choice
But to succumb to this wicked curse.

This fear withers my state of mind
Leaves me paralyzed with wonder
Until I'm left with no hope to find
And all my dreams are torn asunder.

I love the way your touch makes me tremble
Excites the atoms under my skin
I'm shattered, but you reassemble
The pieces of me that I'm living in.

You're my armor, my stability
The guard that keeps my demons at bay
Only you have the ability
To make every problem go away.
Written 2/6/12

I do like how this flows, and how I can still relate to it but for a different person.
Thought I was warm,
Just as I held,
All of your core,
Every single cell.

But never understood,
My heart will freeze,
All that you say,
Switch it around,
Make it my way,

Giving it meaning,
Giving it purpose,
Holding its feeling,
Only to serve it.

I never knew,
Of my disparity,
Until I flew,
Away to sincerity.

Never wanted heat,
More than I do now.
I’m stuck here to freeze,
Left here to drown.

My hands full of stone,
From all that they’ve touched.
Refuse to keep them alone,
Wanting to run,

Towards all my dreams,
Seeing them clear.
They all just seem,
Like they could be here.
Never realized how could my heart was until I felt your warmth... S.B. <3
Valentine's is just another day
Where love comes to pass
And dreams come to stay.
Who really likes Valentine's day?
When a boy tells you his fears,
Hoping you'll understand,
But you can't even hear,
His voice screaming for your hand.

When a boy hides his face,
Covering it like his blanket,
He'll always hate it,
Like a muscle always aching.

When a boy shows you his hands,
All that he’s ever grasped,
But he's never held yours,
Too afraid it won't last.

When a boy shows you his eyes,
How they’ve seen hell,
He'll want you to try,
To know how you've helped.

When a boy gives you his heart,
Covered in all its shame,
You don't seem too far,
But close enough to fade.

When a boy opens up,
Speaking of fears,
He'll hope you'll love,
When he calls you “dear.”

When a boy gives you his pain,
And expects you to feel it,
He'll yearn for the rain,
Ask for the healing.

When a boy shows you his hands,
How they’ve been empty,
He'll never demand,
For you to be lending.

When a boy tells you his dreams,
Wanting you in them,
He'll want you to see,
You're his precious gem.
Maybe one day you'll understand... S.B. <3
Don't trust the words that come out of my mouth

I lie I lie I lie

There is no filter between brain and mouth

I lie I lie I lie

But my hand is connected to my heart
And my written words tell the truth
I should stop speaking alot..
 Feb 2018 Hailey James
Sherilin
There she sat for unending days
A vacant mournful mold
A radiant beauty in my eyes
With a story left untold

She grasped moments that she viewed
Of children playing outside
While she sat inside her only friend
The wheelchair she occupied

She longed to be a part of
Everything that she was seeing
To run and dance with others
Was just an image of her being

She was gorgeous to say the least
    An Angel ~ ~ in despair
That needed a chance to journey
Somewhere other than her chair

Introduced as just a "Smile”
Soon graduating to a "friend”
I was the recipient of her troubles
My heart was genuine

I desired to help her just as much
As her desire to be free
I told her that she soon would dance
Embraced by the arms of me

She blushed and shrugged at the thought
Knowing this could never be
For her legs were limp and tiny
A feature through destiny

I told her not to reject so fast
That there are many forms of dance
That angels get by with just their wings
So, she surely stood a chance

I lowered myself down to her chair
My arms enwrapped her waist
Raising her to my level
Where freedom was embraced


She was an angel ~now in flight
As my two feet, carried four
We rejoiced in every movement
That we danced across the floor

Like leaves blowing across the ground
We bounced, we meshed, we swayed
We both fulfilled a heartfelt desire
As our bodies entwined that day

She now was the view of envious eyes
A display of rhythmic light
Captivating her many admirers
By her illuminating sight

For I, she was what I always knew
Exquisiteness on reserve
Not shelled by grief no more
A beauty has emerged

copyright@Iflifewasmadeoncanvas
 Feb 2018 Hailey James
Sun Drop
Never ask me that question again.
Defying the body. Original sin.
Don't press the issue. Don't press your luck.
I would much sooner choose fight than choose ****.

Stacking the cards. Cooking the books.
Cry in the shower to cleanse ***** looks.
Slurp up your earnings. Feast on deceit.
Nibble on scraps while they're dining on meat.

Call out for help. Pity can save.
Swallow the fact that you're branded. Depraved.
**** for your honor. Fight for your life.
Take back what's yours by the edge of the knife.

Eat all the forces opposing your way.
Sometimes brutality's what saves the day.
Garnish their corpses with spite and rejoice.
Feed your desires like you had a choice.
It's time to eat. I hope you're hungry.
the sun heats your passion
dreaming of birds flying

trees tell my story
the ocean holds your heart
earth is your soul
 
You are the universe. 


Jl 2017
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