There's only
Three things in my life
That I need:

         Music
                     The stars
                                          And you.

I recently read a poem
Advising others to
Not fall in love with a poet
Most of you have probably read that poem
It was poem of the day
Just one week ago
And I have read it
Several times
But it wasn't until yesterday
When I realized
Just how much truth
Was seeped through
Jacqueline Flores' words
It wasn't until yesterday
When I was trying to find
The right way to describe my love
Compare his eyes to the ocean
His hair to sand
How he speaks
And so on
And so forth

And so it's true
Don't date a poet
Cause we watch
And we describe
Either colorfully
Or sparingly
We show the world
Through our own words
And we expose everything
Love, loss, hate, bitterness
EVERYTHING.
And if you can't deal with that
And appreciate that
Then don't date a poet.

I've been missing the ocean often

So I'll just look in your eyes again.

Sometimes,
You never know how good you could feel
Until you get a new pair of shoes.

Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
Unhandsome and unimportant
This one goes out to the losers
All the liars and the thieves
And the wannabe beauty queens

You're never going to shine
Not even for a little bit
So get off the stage
Before the booing crowds take seize
Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
This one goes out to me.

It's hard to

                        love another

when you

                         don't love yourself.

But do not let this
Rub you the wrong way
I love you
But I'm not in love with you.
I mean, surely
I could be in love with you
          *But I'm too inexperienced to tell a difference between the two

Meeting you was fate.
Allowing you to get underneath my skin,
Releasing all my kept away secrets,
Saving my best for you,
Hoping the feeling would be mutual,
Allowing myself to get lost,
Losing you for the better of us all, and then
Letting it all go?

Completely and utterly beyond my control.

I want to show you
All my writings
I want you to see
All my poetry
And point out to you
How many you were the inspiration behind
How many hold your face behind the words
How many cherish your laughter through their lines
And how many wouldn't be there without you

But I'm afraid
I'm terribly, terribly frightened
You won't understand
Or you won't care
That it wouldn't make any difference
You would hear my words
It'd go right over your head
Or you'd say
"Really, that's interesting."
And go back to your video game

*I just wish I could show you my world through my words.

I'm being torn in two
My two halves are fighting again

The good side
The Mormon girl
She wants to be righteous
She wants to do all that she is supposed to
Stay on the path
Be worthy
Be active in the church
Go to BYU
Meet a return missionary
Get married in the temple
Start a family
Have five or so kids
Grow old
Stay in the church
And die
Knowing she raised a good Mormon family

And then there's the bad side
The rebel
She wants to do want she really wants
She wants piercings
She wants tattoos
She wants to be radical
Live her own life
Without consequences
From those Above
Go to college...elsewhere
Meet someone like her
Get married on the beach
(Or not at all!)
Maybe have a family
Couple kids
And live her days
Rebelliously
Enjoying her days
Not caring for tomorrow

And each side
Have their ups and downs

So

       Why

                 Not

                          Both?

And that's where my struggle lies
And how to combine the two
Nearly opposite sides
Into one
Imperfect whole
And that's what I'll be doing
For the rest of my days
Until I die
After I die
Is combine my two halves
And make one
And make Me

There's still something there
I lied when I had said
Nothing
But nothing
The spark that was there between us
It still exists
It is not dead
The glowing embers
Are slowly coming back to life
As we play War
And laugh at eachother's stories
These glowing embers
Will soon grow to a wildfire
And burn everything in its path
Cause the pull of out hearts
They're stretching again
The rubber bands between us
Are making us snap back together again
Dont break the elastic

Don't break me

And I promise to do the same

You beat me to the punchline
And gave me a black eye
With your lack of eye contact
Whenever you speak to me
Which isn't speaking
You say two words
Two. Words.
Hi.
And yeah.
Two ******* words.
Add some more
I can't remember your voice
Look me in the eyes
I can't remember their color
Do something!
Say **something!

If you were to ask me
How I would describe myself
With two words
That's what I'd say

Beauty.

What is beauty?
What is it?
Is it a color?
Is it a pattern?
Is it a state of mind?
What is it?
How do I get it?
Can I buy it?
What is beauty?
What do they mean when they say it's the same as pretty, or handsome?
What are those?
Are they colors?
How can I get them?
Do I have them?

Do I?

I* see now.
Don't pretend you care, because I'm
Quite sure I can live. Please
Understand that I'm not a Saint.
Please, don't wait for me, I'll
Explain later on, when the time is right.
It doesn't matter. Do you need to hear this
Again**?

I
Can't
Live
Without
You
So
Don't
Let
Me
Die

When you were born you were not alone
Nothing was carved into the stone quite yet but don't forget
You heard someone say, "It won't get better than this!"
That was the sound of your father
As he held you up to your mother
No one will ever know, a love as pure as the one that you felt right then

They held you up, they held you up
And everybody else they fell to the wayside
This is the start of the beginning
The prologue to the tale that you're spinning
A million synonyms will never come close to describe the feeling

Don't ever leave, 'cause if you do dear, I guarantee that you'll regret the day you did
And you'll miss all the simple things
And you'll see everything you ever loved start fading 'till there's nothing left, oh oh

And I believe that every broken bone is meant to be
And when it heals it will be stronger than it was before
And I see the things that I pretend that I don't see
And I keep them in my head love, if only for memories

So now you're young and you feel alone
Despite friends family and all the good things now surrounding you
You can't help thinking, "Oh there's gotta be some more to do"
When all the things that you cherish
Turn into burdens then there is
No other path to take, you know what you got to do but you don't know how

They'll hold you back, they'll hold you down
And you kinda feel bad but you know that you gotta get out
This is your pain your dilemma
Do you stay in the town where they raised ya
Or will you sail away
Pull the anchor and go heading for the come what may

You have to leave
'Cause if you don't dear
You'll never see the things you read about in books
You saw the films and you were hooked
But everything you want won't come to you
You realize now that you gotta go see this through

And I believe that every broken bone is meant to be
And when it heals it will be stronger than it was before
And I see the things that I pretend that I don't see
And I keep them in my head love, if only for memories

So now you're all raised, on your own
Two souls, to put yourself at home
You finally settled down
You've seen the world but your heart never left this town
They have the eyes of your mother
The kind of crooked teeth of their father
No one will ever know, a love as pure as the love that you feel for them

You'll hold them up, you'll hold them up
And everybody else should fall to the wayside
There is no end no beginning
On this merry-go-round we call living
Someday you will return, every single ounce of the love you were given

Someday they'll go
And when they leave home
You will be grateful for the lesson that you learned
You had to travel half the world
To realize what you knew all along
That everything will end up where it belongs

And I believe that every broken bone is meant to be
And when it heals it will be stronger than it was before
And I see the things that I pretend that I don't see
And I keep them in my head love, if only for memories

What color describes
The love between
You and me?

I'd say purple

Our love,
It's not quite red
It's more like blue
But not all the way

Cause sometimes we're hot
And I feel the red hot electricity
And you can see it in my face

But we're also sometimes cold
And I feel the indifference from the blue of your eyes
And you can see me drawing back

But the cycle goes over an over
All in all
It never stops
Red
To blue
To red
To blue

So I'd say purple
Such a lovely color
Wouldn't you agree?

And let's stay here
In our purple little romance
And live out our days
Under purple skies

Just you and me.




(Plus, you look pretty hot in purple)

Poetry
Poetr
Poet
Poe
Po
P
Pl
Ple
Plea
Plea
Pleas
Please
Please?

Before school: Seminary
The religious class
That's optional
If I don't care about being harassed by church leaders
Otherwise,
I have to deal with it.
But I kinda like it
The teacher's nice
A little too cheery
Being it six o'clock in the morning
But nonetheless,
I love her to death
And the people,
They're kind.
I've got some band family in there
We three sit in the back
The Italian French horn player
And the Ginger fellow trombone player
(And I reserve them those names
With only but love)
And they're my buds
I love them so.

1st hour: Band
My favorite
The best
Above everything else
Nothing could compare
What, with those wonderful people
My wonderful family
Of a little under 300
And their wonderful faces
And wonderful talents
And wonderful personalities
And the boy
The beautiful boy
The One
He's there
And my friends
They're all there
Almost everyone I love
They're there.
(Plus,
I like the program, too)

2nd hour: Jazz Band
Second best
Not as great as first
Still band
But not band
I'm worse here
But I like these people
They're the "ultra family"
The ones who are always there
The true band geeks
Who take this shot
Twice a day
Two times in a row
Like me
And I like it.

3rd hour: English
I love my teacher
The only "Ms."
On my entire schedule
She's awesome
But drowns me in work
I can't deal
I hate this class
I'm smart enough to get everything
But too lazy to do anything
Passed a semester with a D
Failed both quarters,
Aced the final exam
This shows my intelligence,
And shows my disobedience
And I like the people here too
Not as much as the earlier
But they're nice all around

4th hour: Chemistry
Indifference.
I used to feel that in this class
But the Other caught my eye
The one I'd known for four years
And made me enjoy it
(Made my grades go down a little, too)
But he's nice
Talks to me about music and such
While everyone else there annoys the **** out of me
I hate everyone there
Save it be three kids
And the teacher
Everyone there is annoying
Which is fine
I've got headphones for that
And the boy
I've got him too

Lunch
My closer friends
Members of the family
Who talk about
Anything
And everything.
Mostly band,
Boys,
And school
But they're nice to have around
And I love the three of them
Very very dearly
Even if one or two
Occaisionally get on my nerves

5th hour: World History
I like this class
It has the most members of the family
Outside of 1st hour
Plus the Other
He's in here again
And I sit behind him
And he helps me on my work
And the Ginger
And the Italian;
They're all in here
So it makes for a fun class
And my teacher,
He's pretty funny
Can joke around with everyone
Sounds a bit gay
(I'm not being mean,
Literally EVERYONE says that)
But its still pretty nice

6th hour: Algebra II
I used to like math
But now I hate it
Thanks to the wonderful thing
Invented by Muslim scholars
Yes,
The wonderful (hateful) art of Algebra
That is a horrible end to my school days
But the class is dope
This teacher is the best
He's so freaking chill
Just yesterday,
We sat around
And he told us about his life
And gave us this giant pep talk about life
Giving us advice
Cause he's a coach
And he gets us
(Graduated but a decade earlier
In the very same school he teaches at)
But he's awesome
Doesn't mind I skip out
A couple minutes early
Or get in class
A couple minutes late
He's just the best
And the people of that class?
A little closer to my 4th hour
Than all my others
And there's a boy in there
Annoys me everyday it seems
Trying to flirt;
I think he likes me?
Oh well
The class is awesome

And I like them all
In their own ways
They're all good

“Don't you even try,"
They always seem to tell you;
I won't bring you down.

A little place
Named The Outpost
Was where I spent
Fourteen months of my short life
Two thanksgivings,
Two Christmases,
And my fourteenth birthday
All spent there
In the place that was my home
When I had no home.

I spent my whole eighth grade year there
And half of my ninth
In that ghetto little motel room
With the rest of my family
With its dark green carpet
Later on replaced for a pale peach
And the one bed my parents shared
And the one couch I called mine
And the floor my brother slept on
When he wasn't elsewhere
Yes,
It was very cramped
One room to the four of us
And it was horrible
Not having any privacy
Always having to deal with my parents
No escape
But I'm grateful for that ***** little motel room
Now that days are better
I'm grateful that I was able to learn
And be grateful for my current home
A small, cheap house
But nonetheless a mansion
Compared to the earlier mentioned

See,
Some people are put into trials
And they come out
With hardened hearts
But I came out
With gratefulness and understanding
Of the rough world around us all
And I know, it's tough
It's really really tough
But you know what?
Those fourteen months were hell
But I'm still here;

If I could do that,
Then you could overcome your trials and tribulations

I believe in you.

God, Felicia
Make up your **** mind!
Seriously.
Enough's enough.

I've made the wrong choice
Should have went with the Other
But oh well, oh well.

You say I look that way


But let's just say that I'm a good actress

They make me undone
Like a ball of yarn
I slowly roll away
Deteriorating,
Losing my sense of balance
It's hard to stand straight
Even with the help of your arm
I can't help but fall
             Fall
                       Fall
                                 Down
                       Down
            Down

And here I am
On the ground again
But it's nice here
Why don't we stay awhile?
And watch the stars
How they twinkle just for us
We'll be all right
At least I hope

Could you not be the
Other one I crave for?
Because if **** happens, I'm afraid
You're the only one who'll get hurt.