You look at me through half-shut eyes,
crooked smile playing upon your lips,
the high kicking in
and here am I wishing I'd shared that joint with you.
Tell him
Tell him
Tell him how you feel
Another boy who is not you listens to me intently,
then suddenly distraction and he's gone,
his eyes fixed on someone else-
another girl who appears more beautiful in nature than I.
It's okay. Turn back, tell the other
I turn to you,
laugh it off,
tell you this happens often.
Nobody listens to me
You laugh a little.
"Go on."
Tell him now, forget the story and tell him now.
Struck by those encouraging words,
I pour my heart out to you,
It aches a little.
Caught in your gaze, I suppress my carnal urges
As you hang on every word,
like it means more to you than it does to me.
We walk together.
Nothing said.
You apologise,
but your voice makes it sound like you're not sorry.
I wish you were sorry.
I wish you hadn't made all these promises to me.
I laughingly joke 'you owe me'.
But you don't catch my words,
they escape from my mouth too fast.
Tell him. Tell him about the promises he made to you...
I try, the words caught in the back of my throat
but you're gone,
with the clothes you lent me now on your back,
and all you say is goodbye
but I hear your words before I see you walking away.
SAY SOMETHING
Traffic lights stun me into silence
Why is he doing this? *
I think of the night we were left alone,
you walking me home at 1am,
us marvelling at the beauty
of a lone fox running down the road in the dark,
the pavements basked in the light of street lamps.
I think of your drunken words,
your drunken promises that seemed so real
and so genuine.
The trips to town,
the mixtapes,
and the long walks you promised me.
I remember you telling me I was beautiful.
I try to steady myself against the pole beside me.
*Oh God.
Eyes swelling, chest tightening.
**I love you when you're drunk,
I hate you when you're high.
And whenever I think I know you,
I realise you're still wearing one of those masks.